INFJs and counselling

IndigoSensor said:
Oh, don't worry about it :)

See that is the big problem, akwardness. Embaressment/akwardness are the two things that I will avoid at ALL COSTS, even if it involves a big personal loss for me. I can not deal with those emotions at all. And crying in front of a friend falls under that catagory. I even feel a little like that when I have around my mom, but it goes away pretty quick because we are so close. Sadness and emotions related to it are very private to me, and I rarely let others in in that respect.
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Indeed, I feel the same way about embarassment.

Your mother must have a vital role in your life. She must be the personalization of feelings for you. I think that in your mind, she must be an angel. I also think, that when you have to forgive someone, her image appears in your mind. But then again I could be totally wrong.
 
Taz said:
Indeed, I feel the same way about embarassment.

Your mother must have a vital role in your life. She must be the personalization of feelings for you. I think that in your mind, she must be an angel. I also think, that when you have to forgive someone, her image appears in your mind. But then again I could be totally wrong.
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Yup, you pretty much got it. Only difference is I am forgiving by nature.
 
I'm going to my first "counseling experience" tomorrow. I've never seen a therapist. In my family, seeing a therapist was admitting you were weak. As an adult I can see how ridiculous that sort of thinking is. I want to see what it is like to go to a therapist...and it's free as a college student! I might as well try it just for the experience. And if I'm going to make it my profession I might as well see how a professional does it!

Now that the date is fast approaching, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say when I get there. She's going to ask me why I'm seeing her and I won't have an answer for her. >_<
 
TK* said:
I'm going to my first "counseling experience" tomorrow. I've never seen a therapist. In my family, seeing a therapist was admitting you were weak. As an adult I can see how ridiculous that sort of thinking is. I want to see what it is like to go to a therapist...and it's free as a college student! I might as well try it just for the experience. And if I'm going to make it my profession I might as well see how a professional does it!

Now that the date is fast approaching, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say when I get there. She's going to ask me why I'm seeing her and I won't have an answer for her. >_<
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I hope your first appointment went well TK! I know it can be a bit scary and awkward the first time, even if it's just 'for the experience' :).

I've always thought it was a sign of strength asking for help and support when you feel you need it. It takes strength to let yourself become vulnerable and open up. As it does to be humble enough to say "I'd like help".
 
TK*, a bit late I know, but you don't have to "know" why you're there. You can just be yourself and talk and see where that goes. It's worked for me so far, anyway. Hope it went well!
 
To be able to speak without fear of being humiliated is to me, personally, very appealing. I'm not sure to what degree counselors would offer this, but the confidentiality in itself is appealing...
 
I think t INFJ's are personally more likely to go to a therapist or something ...because they're such introvert's that sometimes they need just someone to listen to what they have to say....whether they understand or not.
They're probably more prone to going to a therapist or something because of their relationship problems with friends, and sometimes....they might not even have any friends...but atleast the therapist is there to listin to ya
i personally don't even open completely up to my therapist...it kindof sucks tho...i would like to...but i can't seem to...
i just don't have that connection with him so..it's hard to talk about anything.
 
firehotemily said:
i personally don't even open completely up to my therapist...it kindof sucks tho...i would like to...but i can't seem to...
i just don't have that connection with him so..it's hard to talk about anything.
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Have you thought about looking for a new one? For me, if I do not feel some kind of a connection with the therapist I am seeing, I won't be able to open up completly, and that defeats the purpose of counciling.
 
i would get a new therapist but, i don't have any money for it....my bishop is basically paying him or my chruch.i dunno...but it's someone elses money that's not in my family...so i get what i get and i don't throw a fit.
T.T but i really do need a new counselor..
 
Aah Emily, I feel for you although it sounds like you need to just spill it out.
*You can do it, just put your POWER TO IT!*
It is for your wellbeing and you will not gain anything if you keep it inside and flee. =)

Either way I saw him today and it actually went quite well, I'm starting to think that maybe it is good that my therapist does not feel for me so that I can learn to handle such (nonemotional) people. Because in the real world, my problems arise due to the logical who burden me with so much distress because my emotions are like trash them. So my therapist is awful but maybe not because I need the confrontation instead of fleeing such people right ? :)


We were discussing my thought pattern and he stated that our sessions are not like therapy but rather pedagogy.
I responded slightly confused:
- "What's the difference?"
He said:
- "In therapy, the patient thinks and comes up with a solution for himself, with some guidance. Whereas in pedagogy the patient is tought exactly how to think for himself as I come up with the solution"
Me:
- "So I am sort of retarted, as I cannot think for myself?"
Him:
- "No that is your focus, whereas I say you are merely unable to do so at this moment".
Me: (EPHIPHANY IN MY MIND) *Smiles*


I will be relearned, learn to look upon things with a different perspective. An emotional person will always be one, he said. My idea of removing my emotions was dissmissed by him because I should accept them and be me, instead of adjusting to everyone around me.

NOW my homework is to make a list of all negative thoughts and another list of all useless thoughts I have. ^^
 
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xD i would spill it out...and i definitley need to..but i don't have any best friends anymore (long story) so i don't have anyone i can talk to xD and i really don't trust anyone else with my problems because they either, don't know how to listen, or don't care, or get annoyed :P so it sucks..
anyways..lol yeah..
 
firehotemily said:
xD i would spill it out...and i definitley need to..but i don't have any best friends anymore (long story) so i don't have anyone i can talk to xD and i really don't trust anyone else with my problems because they either, don't know how to listen, or don't care, or get annoyed :P so it sucks..
anyways..lol yeah..
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Ahh you need a hug, Emily. That is horrible I lost my best friend in 7th grade and we did not talk for 2 years when she was moving to another city far away. We forgave each other and cried but never restored our friendship. I was severly sad and lost alot of my self-esteem because of it because MY original friends, took her side :m051:.

Anyways my point is life was really bad, but I found an even better friend, one whome I knew when I was a little baby. Although we did not know this at first. She went to my school and we gained a sisterly friendship and just knew that we had some sort of special connection. Then imagine our reaction when we found this out... xD

You will have someone good come along your way as well, just be sure not to miss it Emily. And perhaps try to widen your perspective and be openminded and optimistic about your therapist, they are there to help you not bring you down. This helped for me and you will start to feel better the minute you don't let the introversion make you feel inferior and surpressed.

Loveees
 
firehotemily said:
i would get a new therapist but, i don't have any money for it....my bishop is basically paying him or my chruch.i dunno...but it's someone elses money that's not in my family...so i get what i get and i don't throw a fit.
T.T but i really do need a new counselor..
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That's tricky... I understand why you don't want to complain or rock the boat if someone is helping you out. But on the other hand - would your pastor/church be interested in you being able to benefit most from your counseling? It seems like that's not happening right now. Although it's probably very well-intended, it sounds like it may not be quite what you need. I hope I don't sound too blunt in saying that I hope your pastor/church would be able to see beyond their own agenda and desires, and do what is best for you. Conditional help ("you can only have my help if you do it MY way") isn't always all that helpful. And when it comes to counseling, the difference between having a counselor you connect with and one that you don't is TREMENDOUS. That connection is precious.
 
Yeah

Actually I don't open up to a lot of people but I need to let out what I feel. I feel kinda wrong for burdening someone with my crap but if I'm yapping to a psychiatrist it might feel alright since there's a privacy clause and I'm paying them to help. Also an objective view of things from a different perspective helps, probably.
 
4 year old thread.... Rise from your grave! :)

Therapists are like other professionals--there are a few good ones and an abundance of bad ones. This is no different from seeing a doctor. Likewise, if you go with the intent of letting the professionals do their thing and bring less to the table, you will get less out of it. If you want successful therapy, establish goals and timelines in the first session. If you want to talk about disorders and dynamics (yours or anyone else's), do a little research between sessions. More than anything else, therapy is something that the patient can guide. If you get someone good and still don't get enough out of it, consider what you're putting into it.
 
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