[INFJ] infjs confuse the hell out of me!

[Bas]

ok here is my main problem with understanding infjs
its the fe-ti axis which is supposed to be warm on the outside but cold on the inside.

so 1) does that mean you infjs have no emotion internaly?
2) do you ever cry for sad movies? or songs or art ect?

please answer the questions honestly, and not what makes a good answer, but how as an infj you experience theres things?

Do I have any emotion on the inside? Great question, let me know if you figure that one out--not sure myself. I presume yes, but hard to say.

I do cry in movies sometimes.

 

[Noona]

ok here is my main problem with understanding infjs
its the fe-ti axis which is supposed to be warm on the outside but cold on the inside.

so 1) does that mean you infjs have no emotion internaly?
2) do you ever cry for sad movies? or songs or art ect?

please answer the questions honestly, and not what makes a good answer, but how as an infj you experience theres things?

Warm on the outside and cold on the inside..... Well..... That's kinda difficult.

In my opinion INFJs aren't really warm or cold. We feel emotions, we can feel others emotions, but we kinda analyze them on our subconscious. I subconsciously Focus more not on the emotion itself but on why I feel that way or why someone is feeling that. Mmmh..... For me it is trying to understand others and helping others so from the outside I'm warm and kind and a "good person" but inside I'm just analyzing the emotion and the situation forgetting the emotion itself; I spent lot of my life trying to help others in every possible way Neglecting my feelings. This way on acting may can makes others see me as warm Initially but when they know me, they can see how cold and rigid I can be in examining a given situation without taking into the emotional sphere and that scares lot of people.

However I can feel emotion in a very deeply way loosing control of them, crying for movies or especially for songs. They aren't only sad, even for joyfull songs and well end movies, you are asking yourself why......... Well.... Cause the emotion are just too strong.

I hope I've been pretty clear T_T translating into English often makes the miss of some of the real message.

 

[Daustus]

Yeah this is pretty accurate. It's like being a cold/indifferent "mind-probe" with a "soft/warm" outercloak, as opposed to an INTJ "mind-probe" with a "hard/cold" outershell. I think INFJs are just as cold("cold" is not the best word, I say "indifferent") if not more "indifferent" than INTJ counter parts. Remember, INTJs have a conscious Fi-tertiary function. Fi-tertiary is all about personal values and standing up for what is "moral" and "right". Your tertiary function reveals how you "think", like how you justify decisions. INFJs start off with Fe as first approach to decision-making because its the most natural and easiest way to make decisions and handle conflict(since they are an Ni-dom with a strong Fi-id subconscious), but how do we justify our decisions at the end of the day - icy-cold Ti truth and logic. All of this, of course is meant to support the "dominant-Ni" (mind-probe), which is the "coldest/sharpest" perceiving function - so yeah ---- INFJs keep it warm and formal on the outside, but cold/sharp on the inside. Think "focused monk" or "warm/buzzing alien-mindprobe"...lol

Some would argue Star Trek's Data is an INTP, Im leaning toward INFJ. Spock was INTP. Data was more involved in feeling values and harmony than Spock who cared about accurate protocols and rules:
View attachment 58032

I enjoyed this post. warm shell with cold internal logic feels accurate. I have always felt a close bond to Data too.

 

[Noona]

Yeah this is pretty accurate. It's like being a cold/indifferent "mind-probe" with a "soft/warm" outercloak, as opposed to an INTJ "mind-probe" with a "hard/cold" outershell. I think INFJs are just as cold("cold" is not the best word, I say "indifferent") if not more "indifferent" than INTJ counter parts. Remember, INTJs have a conscious Fi-tertiary function. Fi-tertiary is all about personal values and standing up for what is "moral" and "right". Your tertiary function reveals how you "think", like how you justify decisions. INFJs start off with Fe as first approach to decision-making because its the most natural and easiest way to make decisions and handle conflict(since they are an Ni-dom with a strong Fi-id subconscious), but how do we justify our decisions at the end of the day - icy-cold Ti truth and logic. All of this, of course is meant to support the "dominant-Ni" (mind-probe), which is the "coldest/sharpest" perceiving function - so yeah ---- INFJs keep it warm and formal on the outside, but cold/sharp on the inside. Think "focused monk" or "warm/buzzing alien-mindprobe"...lol

Some would argue Star Trek's Data is an INTP, Im leaning toward INFJ. Spock was INTP. Data was more involved in feeling values and harmony than Spock who cared about accurate protocols and rules:
View attachment 58032

I've never see Star Trek but I like the way you explained it

 

[Anne Le]

ok here is my main problem with understanding infjs
its the fe-ti axis which is supposed to be warm on the outside but cold on the inside.

so 1) does that mean you infjs have no emotion internaly?
2) do you ever cry for sad movies? or songs or art ect?

please answer the questions honestly, and not what makes a good answer, but how as an infj you experience theres things?

Dont worried. You are not the only one. Me too.

 

[Paulita7]

ok here is my main problem with understanding infjs
its the fe-ti axis which is supposed to be warm on the outside but cold on the inside.

so 1) does that mean you infjs have no emotion internaly?
2) do you ever cry for sad movies? or songs or art ect?

please answer the questions honestly, and not what makes a good answer, but how as an infj you experience theres things?

We have a lot of emotions going on nevertheless we don't let " the world" to see that because that will makes us weak. I cry with movies yes and I am warm to those that are worth my time.the rest can perish lol.im very observant of people in general

 

[QuietBrave]

Warm on the outside and cold on the inside is a great way to put it. I actually get colder the more you get to know me - which is obviously confusing to people, but is actually me showing more of my "inside self". So, the more I like you, the less traditionally "warm" I am to you, and this chilliness is a sign of trust and depth of relationship. Lol.

 

[origamipuzzleboxes]

I'll throw in my 2 cents which is very similar to what others have posted.

I'm both cold and warm with about 3 settings. Most people get luke warm, polite, "nice" version of me and this means I recognize you as a fellow human being. People I like get a very warm, funny, weird, extremely open friend that always helps out and follows thru. I'm caring, supportive and disarmingly honest. People I dislike get a civil, robotic experience. I don't smile at you, I don't ask you personal questions, and I probably avoid contact with you.

I would say I'm always feeling something but it's usually the social situation, work environment, or external emotions being projected to me. I'm honestly better sorting out other peoples emotions and what they are dealing with than my own. Im usually thinking about my emotional state in a very detached, clinical observation manner when I actually take time to process how I'm feeling.

I think I cry more than most guys I know. I have noticed that I do tend to cry over art the most (film, music, books) when the piece evokes an strong emotional trigger that I personally relate with. I cry like a baby at the movie About Time. I don't really have control over those strong emotions. When they hit I feel it intensely and ride it out.

People are often confused by me. I think I show up as inconsistent or not genuinely the same with every one. I have noticed that I tend to mirror those around me. If I'm with a quiet introvert i will match their energy, and around loud extroverts I'll jump in and play loud with them. To me this resembles something like my superpower is understanding and feeling other people, but I can lose my sense of self if I don't have boundaries. It's kinda like Rogue from the XMen. I absorb other people but if I absorb too much for too long I start to resemble them and lose myself.

OMG, did I write this?

Seriously, vibrating at the same frequency at the: "3 settings. Most people get luke warm, polite, "nice" version of me and this means I recognize you as a fellow human being. People I like get a very warm, funny, weird, extremely open friend that always helps out and follows thru. I'm caring, supportive and disarmingly honest. People I dislike get a civil, robotic experience. I don't smile at you, I don't ask you personal questions, and I probably avoid contact with you."

I will also cry at the drop of a hat in most movies I like. But then I like movies that elicit strong emotional reactions. (Like are there people who don't cry at Grave of the Fireflies or The Constant Gardener or The Killing Fields?)

You know, Rogue is a good comparison for that mirror neuron superpower! Thank you for that metaphor! May I use it to describe the ability?

I tend to be cold towards myself and my own emotions. Like I can be sobbing in reaction to someone yelling at me but I will be watching myself like "must you? must you really?" and also impatiently waiting for my brain to finish whatever emotion it just released so I can get back to doing what I was doing. However, this clinicalness is just aimed towards me and rarely at the outside world.

 

[Daustus]

OMG, did I write this?

Seriously, vibrating at the same frequency at the: "3 settings. Most people get luke warm, polite, "nice" version of me and this means I recognize you as a fellow human being. People I like get a very warm, funny, weird, extremely open friend that always helps out and follows thru. I'm caring, supportive and disarmingly honest. People I dislike get a civil, robotic experience. I don't smile at you, I don't ask you personal questions, and I probably avoid contact with you."

I will also cry at the drop of a hat in most movies I like. But then I like movies that elicit strong emotional reactions. (Like are there people who don't cry at Grave of the Fireflies or The Constant Gardener or The Killing Fields?)

You know, Rogue is a good comparison for that mirror neuron superpower! Thank you for that metaphor! May I use it to describe the ability?

I'm always glad to see someone identifies with something I write. Welcome to the forum! Go ahead and use the rogue metaphor at will.

I tend to be cold towards myself and my own emotions. Like I can be sobbing in reaction to someone yelling at me but I will be watching myself like "must you? must you really?" and also impatiently waiting for my brain to finish whatever emotion it just released so I can get back to doing what I was doing. However, this clinicalness is just aimed towards me and rarely at the outside world.

Relate to this. I don't always like externalizing or burdening others with my strong emotional reactions. I remember once sobbing and holding up a a "please wait" finger and rode it out and composed myself and continued on. It was really weird for the other person because it was at work.

 

[Panfan]

This is interesting topic.. tbh I also get confused with myself too lol

It’s easier for me to “think” what I’m feeling, rather than actually “feeling” it. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m angry or sad until I actually snapped to people.. then I’m just “Oh, actually I’m upset now”

As for crying, it’s quite rare.. Most of the time, I only get to teary eyes.. But when I cry, it’ll be quite intense

 

[rarie]

lulz stop being so infj

Lol that picture literally sums me up when someone's trying to disagree with me on something I actually care about! (Otherwise I'd probably just go along with them because they usually care about it more than me.)