INFP boyfriend (philosopher) does not believe in the subconscious or in intuition

Asa said:
I'm sorry for hurting both your feelings. I know not all INFPs are like this. Some are. (I know two, and I'd explain thoroughly why the way the are like this connects to INFP stereotypes, but I lack the ability to be brief, and would derail the thread.)
It is definitely not out of a need to feel superior, or due to my insecurities. I'm pretty open about the fact that I don't feel superior to others, and pretty honest about my insecurities and shortcomings. There are a lot of stereotypes about all the types, and all the types have shortcomings. Sometimes they the stereotypes fit, other times they do not. Individual growth, self-awareness, (im)maturity, and development of one's stack all play a part.
I will gladly laugh and nod all day long about INFJ stereotypes* and how awful we are for various reasons. We're like grumpy INFPs. :tonguewink:

*We can't be brief once we stop talking. Good gods, we are such bores!
Click to expand...
Thanks @Asa.
 
Last edited:
Asa said:
We're like grumpy INFPs. :tonguewink:
Click to expand...

Grumpy hate filled lazy af

giphy.gif
 
Asa said:
I'm sorry for hurting both your feelings. I know not all INFPs are like this. Some are. (I know two, and I'd explain thoroughly why the way the are like this connects to INFP stereotypes, but I lack the ability to be brief, and would derail the thread.)
It is definitely not out of a need to feel superior, or due to my insecurities. I'm pretty open about the fact that I don't feel superior to others, and pretty honest about my insecurities and shortcomings. There are a lot of stereotypes about all the types, and all the types have shortcomings. Sometimes they the stereotypes fit, other times they do not. Individual growth, self-awareness, (im)maturity, and development of one's stack all play a part.
I will gladly laugh and nod all day long about INFJ stereotypes* and how awful we are for various reasons. We're like grumpy INFPs. :tonguewink:

*We can't be brief once we start talking. Good gods, we are such bores!
Click to expand...
Oh no Asa, you didn't hurt my feelings! My response wasn't directly towards you at all, not even this forum really, lol. There is this elitism mentality that exists online and on other *cough* NT forums for example, lol. I take it all in stride. One very hard lesson for any infp to learn is to not take anything personally and I've noticed whatever actually does hurt my feels wasn't meant to and is/was my own creation. Another hard lesson for a Fi-dom to learn, especially the gals. Male Fi-doms don't seem to suffer as much from this. It's all good! You make a really good point tho, not every type lives up to its stereotype and some really really do, lol. I'm usually disliked by other infp's because I'll be the first one to call out the areas where we really need to work on to grow as individuals.
 
My boyfriend is otherwise wonderful. But his motto is usually "Better Do Nothing". He even got a t-shirt with that logo. :) Doing nothing drives me crazy!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Asa
Artemisia said:
I wonder if this is an INFP trait or one associated specifically with my philosopher boyfriend. He teaches epistemology and is one of those types who, although very creative and poetic, does not believe in the subconscious, thinks that all people are basically good, and that ulterior motives in others are basically in our own minds.
Sometimes I have disagreements with him. For example, he tells me that his friends will always be there for him and that they love him etc. I tell him that if he becomes more successful, many of these male friends will grow distant from him because his success is a reminder of their own failure. He does not agree with this.
Click to expand...

If he has a PhD in philosophy, his reasons for taking such an optimistic stance must be quite profound. It appears naive as you present it because you do not delve into the paradigm that he speaks from and that forms the base of his convictions. And yet that is probably the most interesting thing to delve into.
 
@Ren -- although, to be fair, I've been frustrated with a good number of philosophers, personally (some are really rational and have my admiration) --- quite frequently the very basic objections (that even someone not trained in philosophy would think of) you raise, they can't actually answer. And instead they spin something that really doesn't answer anything, and just sounds 'learned.' Kind of like "this is a respectable answer to present to a crowd of intellectuals."

I'll admit I'm a little hardnosed here, and I feel on safer ground with the more mathematical/logic based fields in terms of being somewhat secure in my view. But the philosophers who give due rational description of all the sides and what's at stake, I really enjoy. There are definitely some cases where we make very strong progress and a view is more or less left behind, but in a lot of cases, it's tough to do that in philosophy.....and I have seen too many cases where philosophers think that, just because they have more learning in a topic than the general public, they have much greater certainty as to the answer.

Our discussion is one great example -- I've got reasons for nearly all the views we've discussed and I don't feel convinced of any of them despite some leanings (and usually I'm very open to foregoing one of those leanings because I get I'm on shaky ground already -- it just will take a long discussion to clear up that's all).. and I'm most convinced by philosophers so far who seem to be pretty agnostic (although I do think we make progress on what arguments are powerful to what extent!). Often, to make a living, philosophers have to place a greater stake in a view ...

I like the openmindedness you display in the discussions.....it doesn't tend to feel like we can't iron out whatever is leading to a divergence! I haven't found the same across the board unfortunately, and quite honestly I usually find after doing the research when someone was being a stubborn pig apparently, the someone WAS a stubborn pig in actuality...,
 
Last edited:
I think it's not unusual for Ne users to not believe in anything 'metaphysical' like intuition or subsconsious. Ne is about observing objective reality and finding underlying connection in it. It relies more on the empirical data and hence more 'scientific' in the broader sense. I have an ENFP brother and he's similar in the sense that he questions everything, but believes in nothing. Inferior Te also has the propensity to believe that their judgement is correct without bothering with fact-checks.

Sorry if that offends you or INFPs out there though. I don't think INFPs are necessarily naive or weak, it's just the way their mind works. I think they thrive on trials-and-errors kind of way and they're quite resilient people tbh. But I understand how painful it is for INFJs to watch people dealing with the outcome of their choice.
 
Last edited:
Jonah Caan said:
Not entirely sure why but a red (gas-lighting) flag went up in my head whilst reading this.
Click to expand...
I get narcy vibes from Artemesia in general.

Her OP in this thread mentions her feeling that people are 'jealous' of her. I'm very suspicious of this, because in my experience this 'assumption of jealousy in others' is something I've only encountered in people who fit the narcissistic pattern. I'm not accusing or diagnosing anyone, but it's certainly a heuristic red flag that I'm not going to ignore.
 
slant said:
Any reason why you necro'd this thread buddy
Click to expand...

Just had to google what necro meant haha. You mean derail it?

If so, don't see how I did that. The OP stated "believes that all of this is in my head" and the Poster seems to be confused and such. Not a lot of details about their relationship other than those few lines but just got a sense that he might be gas-lighting her. And even if he's not, it's worth a thought for her just in case.

Maybe he's threatened by her intuition. Maybe he's he's hiding something. Or maybe he's just an awesome person.

Just worth a thought; might stop someone from years of emotional turmoil.
 
Jonah Caan said:
Just had to google what necro meant haha. You mean derail it?

If so, don't see how I did that. The OP stated "believes that all of this is in my head" and the Poster seems to be confused and such. Not a lot of details about their relationship other than those few lines but just got a sense that he might be gas-lighting her. And even if he's not, it's worth a thought for her just in case.

Maybe he's threatened by her intuition. Maybe he's he's hiding something. Or maybe he's just an awesome person.

Just worth a thought; might stop someone from years of emotional turmoil.
Click to expand...
Necro is bringing back from the dead.

This thread was made in 2018. It's been dead a while. No complaint just curious
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top