[PAX] Interracial/cultural relationships

brightmoon said:
@ElegantWinter Basically I fundamentally disagree with you on every point you have made but there is no point in taking the time to tear apart your arguments. Most of them are based on assertions and value judgements that are baseless. We could continue, but it likely won't end well, its much better to say. I disagree with you, and move on.
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Hey, there's a space in my name.
 
[MENTION=14199]brightmoon[/MENTION]

If you want we can continue this conversation in PMs at a slower pace.
 
I've always liked interracial/intercultural couples. I think they are beautiful despite the potential difficulties. If they can make it work, then all happiness to them. I don't think differences are necessarily negative. At the heart of relationships is the willingness to understand the other, and see from more than one perspective. If there is willingness to accommodate and compromise, then many of these differences can be managed fairly well. In many cases where there are huge issues, it's usually because families are not as welcoming, not necessarily because the couple are not a good fit. Dating outside one's culture can also mean more options. Sometimes, people within a culture can be limited in how they view gender roles or relationships expectations, so finding someone outside your culture can mean finding someone who is more open.
 
Interesting thread. Lol. I'm in an intercultural/interracial relationship atm. (My bf's Canadian, I'm Filipino) It has never been a problem or issue to us. We are both open minded and respectful of one's tradition. I honestly don't think it should be an issue at all to anyone. As long as there's love, understanding and respect with one another we're all good to go. Those who doesn't respect or understand one's beliefs or tradition or culture are judgmental/narrow minded people who thinks one is better than the other. That's why the world is fucked up. Btw, i have friends with different races and cultures and we all get aling well coz we see beyond all those things. I like them as a person not how they do things differently from me. :)
 
If you want we can continue this conversation in PMs at a slower pace
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[MENTION=12656]Elegant Winter[/MENTION] I respectfully decline, as I don't think there is very much for us to debate.
 
brightmoon said:
[MENTION=12656]Elegant Winter[/MENTION] I respectfully decline, as I don't think there is very much for us to debate.
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I don't debate though. I mainly convey my thoughts and feelings and because of that I call it a "conversation." I'm well aware of the fact that in an actual debate I would be devoured.
 
OK [MENTION=12656]Elegant Winter[/MENTION] PM and we can continue the conversation.
 
Since I live in a multicultural country, I've pretty much had friends from different cultures all of my life. When I was younger there weren't any cultural clashes, we just respected each other and got along just fine. We rarely discussed cultural differences since we didn't think it was that important- we were friends and that was all that mattered. This may also be due to the fact that those friends had been living where I live for a long time or were also born here, so I guess they were also influenced by my culture. When I studied abroad is when I truly met people from different cultures, some I went along with really fine, and some clashed. In one class I was put together with people from the USA, Australia, Canada, South-Korea, Taiwan, France, Spain and Italy. I've read about some cultures I'm interested in, and I feel comfortable in those cultures. Making friends with people from those cultures was no problem- as I understood those cultures for as far as I possibly could for an outsider of those cultures. However, there were some misunderstandings with people from the South European countries, haha! (I'm North European)

I dated outside of my culture once, and went out with a Moroccan guy. I can't say much about that since we only went out for a short time, and he lived here all his life. I do remember him saying once that his mom wasn't all too keen on European girls because of their different morals and values. Despite the fact that he was far more respectful than my previous exes I didn't really notice that many cultural differences. Again, we went out for only a short time so who knows the differences would've showed after a while. But it really clicked with him- there was this instantaneous friendship and liking we had for each other.

I don't think a different culture should be a deal-breaker for relationships as long as both persons are willing to (try to) understand the other person's culture. I think it's important to be open towards other cultures, you could learn a lot and gain different insights!
 
I'm white and have dated a number of men who grew up American (like me) but whose parents are immigrants from culturally & racially very different countries- Vietnam, Mexico, Iran. I always felt close and connected to the guys, and we certainly shared a common culture. But they also had a culture that I didn't, so it was a learning process - on both sides. Ultimately cultural background can (and did for me) impact our compatibility - unless you and your family are really assimilated, there's just a level of explaining that you will always have to do. Particularly for non-white people dating white people in the U.S. Also, religion could be a big issue for couples with different beliefs. Only one of my boyfriends was religious (he's Muslim - I'm an atheist), but didn't take religion too seriously so that wasn't at all a source of tension.

While it's great and educational to date people from other cultures, I understand why people - especially marginalized groups - tend to date others of their same background. It just helps to share a common background that doesn't need constant explaining - explaining their culture or family to you, explaining you to their family, etc. If you want to date someone of a different cultural or racial background, I recommend doing some reading up on that group's history rather than making them answer all your questions (and please, be sensitive). And don't have an interratial relationship just because you think they're "exotic" or, dear god, you want cute interracial babies.
 
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