INTP: An ideal mate?

Blind Bandit said:
Before I get sucked into anymore discussion. For myself and many others Socionics holds no weight. So if someone quotes Socionics I will ignore that claim as I find that theory set redundant. Such a theory is just another way to confuse the issue.

A good relationship is built more on similarities than differences.
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I am not sure at present to what extent I find the socionics theory valid but I think you will find that the socionics relationship/duality theory is built on similarities rather than differences. INFJs in MBTI or socionics INFp/ENFj are actually very similar to ESTPs. I did not get along with the ESTPs I have known but I can certainly see that they are very much like me in a rather inside out kind of way on extremely close observant inspection. I can also see that the INFP MBTI is also very similar to the ESTJ type when you look closely at the two types. I think that if you are Ni/Fe in one system then you are Ni/Fe or Fe/Ni in the other as the functions seem to be defined the same.
 
I have personally not had any dating success with INTPs. My longest relationship lasting several years was with an INTP but I do not consider that relationship a success. In fact, years later I am dealing with deep negative trust issues brought on by that relationship and I am not usually the type who can hold on to negative states for long. The ending of none of my other relationships left me in such an adverse state.

I liked the great majority of things about him but ultimately our need for space/contact was not well matched and I found that he could not provide the support I needed when external problems arouse. I do not think he was what I consider a mentally strong man but then we were both very young and immature in our own ways. He also was the kind of man that required a lot of physical care that I could not provide happily or consistently and that is probably why no sooner than our relationship ended (perhaps even before), he got together with an ISFJ.



I wish some of the INFJs here who are happily married would say what types they are married to so that we might see if type has any bearing on the success of a relationship.
 
knight in battle said:
@Kgal



Alan McGinnis, in The Friendship Factor, states that it is indeed important to develop opposite sex friendships that are outside of the romantic relationship, because the "spark" in opposite sex interactions is what is needed. He goes so far as to say that the difficulty of drawing boundaries is one thing that is interesting about such platonic friendships.

But yes, you're right. I should quit my typologizing while I'm still sane, young, and single.
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Hey Thanks for posting this!:)

I was struggling to accept my experience with both types of friendships. It's nice to know others deem it important.
 
Kmal said:
INFj in socionics is Fi-Ne
INFp is Ni-Fe so i went ahead and converted it. Unless I'm still misunderstanding
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You are. The individual functions themselves are defined differently.
Fi in MBTI is not the same as Fi in socionics.

Now, I'm done derailing this thread discussing the differences here.
 
INTP = best type
 
o_q said:
um, why are we talking about socionics? let's stick with normal MBTI. Socionics shouldn't have been brought up at all, EVER
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Statistically have you always scored low on tests when it
came to reading comprehension?
 
Enfj here, for what it's worth I hate hate hate estjs. I can get along with istjs though. I find any of the following types as good mates for me, istp, infp, entp, intp, estp, isfp (maybe), and even enfp maybe. I learned a bit ago all sources are limited to only teaching you what the authors knew at time of writing. We must think critically on our own behalf.


I see similarities between you knight in battles, and me, when I first joined this forum. I was certain I was infj and used all these different sources to prove it, and I changed my type 40 times in the process. Only advice I can give is live, it will soak in and click one day as synapses unite.
 
Blind Bandit said:
I hate to say this but so far I think only an INFJ or other very close personality type will really result in happiness. INFJs are so such odds balls they need similarity not difference to have stronger relationships.
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I like that language, not so technical. I get along with INTPs, but sometimes it's like I'm waiting for a train to arrive when I say something out of intuition and they're trying to understand it logically.
 
technics said:
I like that language, not so technical. I get along with INTPs, but sometimes it's like I'm waiting for a train to arrive when I say something out of intuition and they're trying to understand it logically.
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That is true IME. Have you tried original metaphors or analogies in conversations with INTPs? They can completely not get them for what seems like a surprisingly long time (if ever) which can make talking to them rather awkward sometimes. It really is just that they are just far more logical than intuitive. Still, I think the ones with well developed Ne are often more clever with doubles entendres and the like than Ni types which makes them amusing.

Also, as much as I too like INTPs, they just do not seem to me to be an ideal match for INFJs in most cases although I have heard of one or two cases where this combination has led to good marriages. Statistics/sample etc aside, the web/forums (especially the INTP forums) seem to be full of stories of failed INTP/INFJ relationships and then I have my own less than positive experiences. At this point I have no idea if there is even a type that generally makes for a good much less ideal match for INFJs.
 
Honey said:
At this point I have no idea if there is even a type that generally makes for a good much less ideal match for INFJs.
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I think INFJs / people who are keep getting results as INFJs, compared to other types / people who are described as other types, tend to be more....varied.

A lot of us tend to be more adept in mirroring in our circumstances and surroundings, whether consciously or not.
Then unlike other Fe doms and auxs (XSFJ, and ENFJ), quite a lot take them to heart / take all sides and perspective of the equation as 'part of the truth' (Ni).
And that would make personal differences and variation more distinctive.
Thus, the so-called ideal would be even more...harder to peg, for INFJs.

From what I'd seen.
 
Honey said:
Have you tried original metaphors or analogies in conversations with INTPs? They can completely not get them for what seems like a surprisingly long time (if ever) which can make talking to them rather awkward sometimes.

the ones with well developed Ne are often more clever with doubles entendres and the like than Ni types which makes them amusing.
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The fact that they don't get it and that they are also amusing is probably why I get along with INTPs. Out of an entire class of 35 students, the one person I got along with turned out to be INTP. Out of all the acquaintances and friends I've made in the last two years, the one I'm closest to is an INTP also.

I've gone through stages of conflict with this friend, and the friendship has only improved after the conflicts were resolved.

But there are probably more suitable types out there. It's just that they may be more difficult to meet for me.
 
Saru Inc said:
I hate hate hate estjs.

I see similarities between you knight in battles, and me, when I first joined this forum. I was certain I was infj and used all these different sources to prove it, and I changed my type 40 times in the process. Only advice I can give is live, it will soak in and click one day as synapses unite.
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Thank God I'm done with the proving-my-type stage. I can readily see myself being NFP or ISFP, for example. I'm seeing also the Se, Ne, and even Si sides of myself, so that there is a discrepancy between how I have come to behave and what my strongest preferences would actually be.

I like your assertion that the "synapses" will eventually "unite", and I will converge on my true identity.

Yes, ESTJs can be a tad insistent and bossy. :(
 
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