Is everyone naturally selfish?

[Ecton]

These days I feel most closely pained by those elements of my selfishness that are habitual. Lifestyle, daily habits, you name it.

I am mostly sad about it, but every once in a while I see someone behave ina truly benevolent way, without evenhaving time to think about it, and that gives me some hope.

Perhaps our beliefs about what we can and cannot do are too sedentary.

 

[~jet]

Frankly, I don't think civilization has quite existed long enough for us to evolve to fit within it... still, we're on the move; I just hope we survive long enough.

 

[Morgain]

At some point there will be people in your life who you will sacrifice for and who will sacrifice for you but you have to be in control of your own life

that is every good point and probably the most difficult exercise there is: where to find the balance between sacrificing you for an other and sacrificing the other for you. It is in my opinion an never ending play of attraction and contraction, a very difficult and hurtful play but rewarding as well...

 

[Morgain]

These days I feel most closely pained by those elements of my selfishness that are habitual. Lifestyle, daily habits, you name it.

I am mostly sad about it, but every once in a while I see someone behave ina truly benevolent way, without evenhaving time to think about it, and that gives me some hope.

Perhaps our beliefs about what we can and cannot do are too sedentary.

me too

and when I think of the others before myself, when I agree in thinks even if I don't like it, it is never noticed. You have to be selfish to be seen. I'm really oblivious when it comes to selfishness. I really can't tell whether I'm a selfish or selfless person...

 

[just me]

I think only the fact that we value selflessness makes selfless acts technically impossible. There is no way to escape the benefits of doing good for other people, but practically I don't think the presence of that benefit translates into a selfish motivation for acting in the first place. Most of the time people just want a good outcome for the other person.

I do understand what most everyone is saying, though I disagree with it. I think [MENTION=2811]kita[/MENTION] hit on something very important: motive. Maybe reason could even be added.

Motive had me to think of court cases. "Who had the motive to help this person without thinking of self?"
"I really wanted to help this person and my motive was not that of helping my own self."

I would not argue the person was not trying to be selfish. However, does that make them selfless? Is selfless the opposite of selfish, or is the meaning of selfless really a better word to use for this conversation: unselfish?

 

[Cecilff2]

Is everyone selfish by nature? Yes

Is every action selfish by nature? No

 

[Zero Angel]

I think this as well. I've known people who actually are miserable because they think of others too much and it gets in the way of caring for themselves.

Well, the question is WHY do they do it? If you trace the causal (cause/effect) tree back far enough you usually end up with some kind of motivation which could be considered selfish. Maybe they want affirmation for their good deeds, or perhaps they want to gain a profound sense of satisfaction of knowing the effects of their deeds, or maybe they hope that the other person will return the favor, or that their favors will be returned to them indirectly (ie: through karma).

The fact that they have failed in their objective to gain happiness through their actions is probably the result of methods which arent working; or another need which is not being met.

Selfless actions can often stem from selfish motivations. The moral worth of the action will be determined from the sum of happiness gained and lost from the actor and his recipient(s). If you were freezing in the rain and I gave you my umbrella then my self-satisfaction might outweigh or at least cancel out my own discomfort. My motivations were selfish, but my action was selfless.

 

[just me]

It may be a rarity of sorts, but can we acknowledge it possible for unselfish acts to be done without want or expectation of personal gratification? The infj is rare. I think it possible and real.

 

[Barnabas]

Soldier jumps on a grenade, is that selfish by this thread's standard.

 

[Zero Angel]

Good question. Without being able to interview one for obvious reasons, I would say 'maybe'. If that soldier believed he would be rewarded in the afterlife (ie: permitted entry into heaven) or believed that being known for heroism was more important than living then the answer would be yes. If the soldier could not bear the thought of his comrades in arms dying then the answer would probably be yes as well, or even 'both'.

If selfish was defined as:
"denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others."

Then the answer would most likely be 'no'. Since the needs and desires of others are also factored in.

 

[just me]

"By this thread's standards" is quite a take on this. I had to smile a bit.

 

[the]

Is being selfish all that bad? I dont think so. At least not always.

 

[just me]

Is being selfish all that bad? I dont think so. At least not always.

There was a man asked me years ago if I was going to stockpile food and water.......not important when or why.
I asked him should he stockpile and something bad happen, would he turn his starving neighbors away that had not prepared for such a thing. The man is well off compared to his neighbors, btw.

He never gave me a yes or no answer.

I think rather than being all that bad, it is more the norm. Is being selfish a reason to discredit someone that is unselfish? Is it a reason to try and disallow it can exist.

 

[the]

There was a man asked me years ago if I was going to stockpile food and water.......not important when or why.
I asked him should he stockpile and something bad happen, would he turn his starving neighbors away that had not prepared for such a thing. The man is well off compared to his neighbors, btw.

He never gave me a yes or no answer.

I think rather than being all that bad, it is more the norm. Is being selfish a reason to discredit someone that is unselfish? Is it a reason to try and disallow it can exist.

I cant make heads or tails of what you are getting at here.

 

[just me]

Doesn't surprise me....not meant personally.

It just seems like almost everyone cannot accept the fact some people do some things in an unselfish manner.

Take for example a normal Christian; he gives tithes and helps with his time at the church. If he is doing so to receive blessings in return for his actions, he is acting selfishly to some extent. He is being unselfish with his money and time, but is expecting something in return.

That is part of God's promises, mind you. That is just the way it is. It is more blessed to give than to receive. It is preached the rewards one will receive in Heaven. Even Jesus spoke of these things.

However, there are those that do things out of the kindness in their hearts because their hearts and minds have been transformed into something different; something special. They expect nothing in return. They see a need and help fill that need. I just cannot understand why it is so difficult to accept that.

I am admitting it is not the norm.

 

[Moya Anomalous]

I realize not everyone is a Christian on here but I remember listening to a pastor talk about the different between Satan and Yahweh. He mapped the differences really well. It was in diagram format but I hope you get an understanding of what it entails.



God
Law of Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus
Love
Faith
Kingdom of God (Based on the Word of God)
Life Cycle
Health Prosperity Deliverance
Eternal Life with God

Satan
Law of Sin and Death
Selfishness
Fear
The Worlds System
The Death Cycle
Sickness, Poverty, Bondage
Death

 

[Phoenix Down]

It highly depends on how you define selfish.
So lets ask the dictionary

devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

I give you a gift. That makes me feel good. Why? because I like you and want you to be happy.

If I were truly selfish, I wouldn't give a lick about your happiness... or you for that matter.

Sure, people are going to act according to their own values.
It's called Self interest, not selfishness.

 

[just me]

:rain:

 

[Kgal]

No, I don't believe every action is selfish, that would suggest we are all sociopaths and that we don't have empathy strong enough to guide our actions.

For something to be selfish in the way I define it, you have to consciously acknowledge you want something for yourself.

I believe people can expand to a familial, community, or sometimes a world view in a way that symbolically links that notion to that person/group to themselves. That link means they make conscious decisions that truly take others into consideration because they see part of themselves in that person. This means that one may give up short term pleasant feelings because they empathize that their reward comes at too great a cost to someone else.

A lot of times it is the executive functions guiding the limbic system. Our limbic system seems pretty straight forward in a lot of ways and has some basic processes in which it works. To say we are 100% driven by a limbic system, and hence selfish, seems nuts to me. Basic Freudian Id/Ego. But to say we have a limbic system, and it does its job, well that makes sense.

+1