Is everyone naturally selfish?

If one must split hairs and say that from every action we do we can garner some sort of personal gain, however esoteric; then we are selfish. If so, then I would use the following parameter: If the self gains are greater than those of benefiting directly from your actions then it is selfish and under that parameter one can be selfless.
 
I think the word "selfish" has an undeserved rep. Imo, selfishness exists on a a continuum. Society's taken "selfish" and uses it to refer to the acts that are out of balance (along the continuum) in intentional favour to oneself, especially when the outcome is detrimental to or negligent of others. The problem with this is that we are not meant to be selfless; we must - to a certain degree - be selfish. Only this kind of selfishness is more SELF-ishness rather than the self-absorbed and heavily self-interested state this word has become defined by.

We need to be self-oriented in order to get our needs met and in order to take responsibility for our lives. To this end, NOT being selfish is extremely selfish because it puts the onus and responsibility for us on other people (assuming we're capable of doing for ourselves what's now fallen on others to do for us).

I don't consider selfishness to be a bad thing. We all need to be moderately selfish and to look after our lives. It means looking for balance between ourselves and others, our inner and outer worlds. It's when the imbalance strikes heavily in either direction that problems arise. Balanced selfishness is a very good state indeed.

Are we naturally selfish? Of course. If nothing else, we're physically and emotionally designed to be.

Is that a bad thing? Not at all / it doesn't have to be.
 
Morpheus said:
Yes, we are selfish. Always.

We can only perceive the world through ourselves, in relation to ourselves. That relation is all we know, all we can know. Self is, thereby, a motivator in everything we do.
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+1
 
I think human beings are hardwired to do what's in their own best interests. You can call that any number of things, but selfishness is usually the term that comes to mind. Like Soulful said, selfishness carries such negative connotations.

I am selfish in several of the decisions on a day to day basis. I like to do what's best for me regardless of what other people think and feel. I don't want to look back and say "Oh yeah, I was so selfless back in the day!" and realize that all of my decisions were made for someone else's benefit and not mine.

I'm at a point where I feel I can balance the needs of others with my own and a lot of times that will include compromise. At some point there will be people in your life who you will sacrifice for and who will sacrifice for you but you have to be in control of your own life and not be afraid to do what's in your own best interests because in the end we need to take care of number one, otherwise what good can we do for anyone else, regardless of motive?
 
sandra_b said:
you have to be in control of your own life
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This is a very good point. I think real selflessness does come from a place of inner security and strength, a place in which an action for another does not diminish us one iota, but is simply consistent with who we are. There may be no tangible benefit to us at all, in fact there may be no thought about ourselves whatsoever. Simple constancy is about identity, about perspective. When we perceive the world we live in as a world of plenty and adundance rather then a world of perpetual lack, then selflessness is simply about participation in "what really is."
 
sandra_b said:
in the end we need to take care of number one, otherwise what good can we do for anyone else, regardless of motive?
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Agreed.
 
Morpheus said:
Yes, we are selfish. Always.

We can only perceive the world through ourselves, in relation to ourselves. That relation is all we know, all we can know. Self is, thereby, a motivator in everything we do.
Click to expand...

Spending countless hours with those older than myself has made me to see the world through the eyes of older people. I know I am not alone when I say I perceive things at times others may be thinking. The song "Walk A Mile In My Shoes" comes to mind; it is demonstrative of the mindset I speak about. It may not be the best example, but it did come to mind so it was shared. Spend days and hours a week with those over eighty years old and see if you don't start thinking about things you normally would not think about.

I think we have a tendency to become too analytical at times. There are the simpletons out there with little to no intelligence living day to day that would never even ponder this thought sequence. While I do understand how the above statement could be made, I have to exempt myself even if that places me in denial. I am not selfish for the most part and am never "always" selfish.

I am reminded of a quote from the Bible goes something like this; "Greater love has no man, than one that would put down their life for another." Love becomes the motivator, thereby substituting love for others before self.
 
Morpheus said:
Yes, we are selfish. Always.

We can only perceive the world through ourselves, in relation to ourselves. That relation is all we know, all we can know. Self is, thereby, a motivator in everything we do.
Click to expand...

Kavalan said:
If one must split hairs and say that from every action we do we can garner some sort of personal gain, however esoteric; then we are selfish. If so, then I would use the following parameter: If the self gains are greater than those of benefiting directly from your actions then it is selfish and under that parameter one can be selfless.
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I believe that humans are naturally selfish but I don't think that's a bad thing. I agree with both Morpheus's and Kavalan's posts. Some actions, as explained in Kavalan's post, gain more benefits for the person acting than the person receiving the action.
 
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I had to revisit and do not think it is off topic, so........

Love, in its many splendored colors and hues, can mean many things to many people. Is not love, when we speak of love for others, selfless?
 
Love seeketh not her own.

“Seeketh not her own; that is, her own praise, profit, or pleasure; it seeketh it not inordinately, it seeketh it not injuriously, either in the neglect of others, or to the hurt of others. Charity is not selfish, but generous.” William Burkitt
 
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If we follow the causalities back to the end (or rather, deep into the infinite regress), every human action is revealed to be selfish at some level.
But that would leave us wanting another word, so we typically label things as "selfish" or "unselfish" after looking at only one or two layers. If your selfish fulfillment is derived from attention to others' needs, then your behavior is indistinguishable from that of one who is truly altruistic to the core, and so for practicality's sake we call it "selfless."
 
I am so happy we can be practical.

"Attention to others' needs" being called selfish fulfilment may be a possibility for some, but it should not take anything away from one with a giving heart.
 
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Morpheus said:
Yes, we are selfish. Always.

We can only perceive the world through ourselves, in relation to ourselves. That relation is all we know, all we can know. Self is, thereby, a motivator in everything we do.
Click to expand...

I don't see this as an accurate definition of selfishness. Of course we can only perceive the world from our own perspective, but I think selfishness is about whether, having done that, we care about ourselves more than others. I personally find myself drawn towards selflessness. Prolonged periods of considering myself first (of which now is one) lead to my feeling flat and unaccomplished. I would concede though, that hedonism is a driving force behind human motives. Although we may be acting for the benefit of others, we do this because it feels good for the mostpart.
 
Altruistic Muse said:
I don't see this as an accurate definition of selfishness. Of course we can only perceive the world from our own perspective, but I think selfishness is about whether, having done that, we care about ourselves more than others. I personally find myself drawn towards selflessness. Prolonged periods of considering myself first (of which now is one) lead to my feeling flat and unaccomplished. I would concede though, that hedonism is a driving force behind human motives. Although we may be acting for the benefit of others, we do this because it feels good for the mostpart.
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Maybe if "we" were substituted with something like "most of us most of the time" I could accept that a bit more readily. There are those that love because their heart is filled with it. Those do it not for themselves, though they cannot hide it from others; it emanates from them like a ray of hope in a darkened world.
 
just me said:
Maybe if "we" were substituted with something like "most of us most of the time" I could accept that a bit more readily. There are those that love because their heart is filled with it. Those do it not for themselves, though they cannot hide it from others; it emanates from them like a ray of hope in a darkened world.
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We is accurate. Any and every conscious thing would be more accurate. Our underestanding is limited to what we see, hear, feel, to what comes to us. And it's not possible to remove self from that equation, because self is the part that absorbs things: without self perception can not happen and without perception there is nothing, no response.

But yeah, maybe mine is not the most pragmatic definiton of selfishness: I don't think it excludes either altruism or deep underestanding of others.
 
Hmm... I do think it is possible, albeit very rare. On the other hand, I also think selfishness isn't automatically bad, especially this sort. Typically, though, I only hear that kind of argument from someone who's been confronted on doing something terribly selfish and want to squeak out of it.

Selfishness, though, used to be a survival technique in the wild. Do what you've got to do to survive FIRST, then see to others. I guess it's selfish to, you know, eat and breathe and stuff, but that guy's definition. Still, things ~HAVE~ changed in the world, too. There's not enough sustainable biosphere on the planet to perpetually support 7 billion people; under relatively-selfabsorbed-american standards of consumption, for example, it would take 4.5 earths to sustain the current population. Even ignoring resource strain, civilization itself begins to crack and fracture in the face of incessant and indulgent selfishness. Such things are inherently uncivilized.

Everyone should, and to a certain degree, must be selfish. This can still be done, however, with consideration made for its impact on (or benefit for) others... and therefore should be. We won't survive otherwise.
 
I think only the fact that we value selflessness makes selfless acts technically impossible. There is no way to escape the benefits of doing good for other people, but practically I don't think the presence of that benefit translates into a selfish motivation for acting in the first place. Most of the time people just want a good outcome for the other person.
 
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