Knowing when to chill

She asked me how my week was going :m027:

Probably not the sexy you were hoping for but I happy with it.
Waaaay better than just, "Good thanks. I'm ready for the weekend".
 
The Internets: Curing social anxiety, one thread at a time.
 
Wyote said:
The Internets: Curing social anxiety, one thread at a time.
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Seriously. Below is exhibit A.

So last time I texted her back I didn't ask her a question and she texted me back and asked if I'm done packing my apartment. I didn't anticipate another question coming back... think Wyst think!
 
Wyst said:
She asked me how my week was going :m027:

Probably not the sexy you were hoping for but I happy with it.
Waaaay better than just, "Good thanks. I'm ready for the weekend".
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Actually I'm happy because she doesn't seem hesitant to talk to you. And thats good.
 
yeah, good luck. Sorry I missed this earlier!
 
Good luck! Hope it all goes well :)
 
Had a GREAT time. We talked at a coffee shop for two hours and found a lot in common. Really really want to ask her out on a real date.

It ended on her saying, "It was great getting to know you", then we had a brief hug (almost flipped out) and she left. Does this bode well or was that her way of saying "It was nice getting to know you.. please don't call me"?
 
The only way you'll know for sure is if you ask her out on another date.

It could go either way... she could either want to see you again, but she's shy and unsure of how to go about doing that--so she just said "Great getting to know you."

Or that was her way of saying goodbye.

I once had coffee with a man for a few hours and we talked about the most amazing things.. but I didn't feel any spark with him and so that was that. It just depends..

I know it's unsteady ground when you first meet someone, you're grappling for any clue as to what the future holds but really you will only know once you go for it.

Maybe call her in a day or two and tell her you enjoyed talking to her and that you are interested in seeing her again.. for dinner sometime..

Now that you've met in person, I wouldn't recommend you contact her through text for another date. Calling her seems more appropriate as you're slowing easing into being a bit more personal now.
 
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Wyst said:
Agreed. But how soon is too soon to ask her? It hasn't even been two hours yet...
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Hmm well, I'm sure most people around here would tell you to do it when you felt like calling.. But I'm going to switch it up and tell you to be strategic. At least for right now.

Calling too soon implies you are too invested already. Most people don't want to wonder if someone is too attached to them right from the get-go. You've got to let a little mystery stand between the two of you. So I suggest you just be patient and enjoy that head swimming feeling of meeting someone you like--take a few days to mull it over. Give her time to do the same.


Wait and call her Monday evening.

Tell her you had a lovely time with her for coffee, and ask if she is busy that weekend and if not, if she would like to have dinner with you.

Something along those lines.
 
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Wyst said:
:m071: seriously?!! A few days??
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Yes a few days. Otherwise you may scare her off.
Plus you should take some time yourself. Why rush into these things?


If she would have leapt into your arms and licked your face tonight, then calling her asap afterwards would have been appropriate. LOL.

Dating's a slow dance not a stampede.

Trust me. I'm in Communications. Let me be your PR person. haha!
 
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If you want to make a good impression, send her flowers, with the shortest of short notes.
 
acd said:
Yes a few days. Otherwise you may scare her off.
Plus you should take some time yourself. Why rush into these things?


If she would have leapt into your arms and licked your face tonight, then calling her asap afterwards would have been appropriate. LOL.

Dating's a slow dance not a stampede.

Trust me. I'm in Communications. Let me be your PR person. haha!
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Flavus Aquila said:
If you want to make a good impression, send her flowers, with the shortest of short notes.
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These instances of advice are contrary to each other...
 
Don't send flowers, that makes you look crazy.

Ask her Monday, maybe Tuesday.
 
Flowers with a short note AFTER a few dates. Maybe like, after a month or a month and a half of dates. That's an after the first kiss kinda thing.

But I'm old fashioned and a lady! Tee hee.
 
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Dearest Wyst,

First, and foremost, you must calm down. It will be noticeable if you call her in a state of nervous edginess. That being said, ACD is right about it being customary for people to wait two or three days before calling someone in the beginning stages of dating. It's up to you whether you want to follow them, but they are tried and true. It gives her enough time to know you aren't clingy but also assures her you haven't forgotten about her. I agree that texting for another meet-up makes it sound too casual for what you're trying to convey.
 
acd said:
Flowers with a short note AFTER a few dates. Maybe like, after a month or a month and a half of dates. That's an after the first kiss kinda thing.

But I'm old fashioned and a lady!
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There's flowers and then there are flowers.

Red roses is a bit presumptous - you just met. A large bunch would seem desperate.

In fact roses of any colour (besides red) would say, let's just be friends.

I small, perfumed bunch of flowers - about the size of 1/2 a celery is courteous and gentlemanly - just makes sure they are expensive but not show-y.

For the note:
For ________(name)
Flav.

(She'll probably spend hour trying to figure out what the note means anyhow).
 
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That Girl said:
Dearest Wyst,

First, and foremost, you must calm down. It will be noticeable if you call her in a state of nervous edginess. That being said, ACD is right about it being customary for people to wait two or three days before calling someone in the beginning stages of dating. It's up to you whether you want to follow them, but they are tried and true. It gives her enough time to know you aren't clingy but also assures her you haven't forgotten about her. I agree that texting for another meet-up makes it sound too casual for what you're trying to convey.
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I think I'm ok with waiting until Monday just as long as she's not wondering if I've forgotten about her by that point.
 
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