Loyalty

Milktoast Bandit said:
No no ding dong! Apparently, I wasn't clear with all my speak of drowning and struggle! I thought it was beautiful and may get those words tattooed on my nether regions.

I'm speaking of (or at least trying to) a person I don't recognize or love facing the consequences of her destructive behavior, which comes from a place of self hatred and unlovability, where said actions reinforce the self hatred in a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, growing into the person she already is through self discovery and finding within her a place of self acceptance and self love which would give birth to non destructive behavior.
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OK!!!! I was coming from the direction of you having had a relationship w/ her. Nevvvvvvver mind. :p :m097:
 
LOL! Are you talking about this person:
ThIs is true. The emotional cord has been severed on my end. She is hanging on to it now. The loyalty I spoke of was mainly about the first several years of the relationship. It is clear to her now that "infj loyalty" does have its end if abused taken for granted. Massive changes are happening, but even so, it may not be enough to get it back.
 
Asa said:
I think watching someone you love turn into someone you can't love is the most horrible torture in the world. I'd rather feel
physical pain, and thanks to cortisol, heartache comes with physical pain. No thank you. That is terrible.
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So what is this about. I believe this is the part where my brain ate itself. For the record, I should've just said I'm loyal to a fault and left it at that. This is what happens when I let my thumbs do the talking
 
Asa said:
Do you view your loyalty as an asset or a fault?
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Both. Loyalty has resulted in fidelity such that I have never cheated on a partner.

I can keep a secret. And I will forever love and be true to my hometown baseball team.

But it has also meant that I have stayed in a relationship long past the point I should have, trying to make it work, running my give, give, give codependent scripts in the hope that...the things that were never going to change would change.

For what it is worth, I’ve done that with a job too.

So it is both for me, most certainly.


Cheers,
Ian
 
I seem only to have loyalty to individual people and causes that are very close to my heart. In those cases, it is classic "loyalty to a fault". I've repeatedly defended people who don't defend me, gone out of my way for people who won't help me, and I'm willing to look like a fool to help a loved one. I've also been in romantic relationships I should have left sooner, rather than later, but did not because loyalty caused me to persevere.
In my marriage, I was lucky to find someone with the same kind of loyalty I have. So, it worked. :)

With politics, teams, ideologies, religion, and anything where a group of people say, "We stand for this and if you are part of us, you will, too", my reaction is "no thank you". I have no loyalty for categorizations where other people decide what I should think and how I should live my life.
I am vegan and have been most of my life - that is the only group ideology I subscribe to. (I didn't know a single vegetarian and I'd never heard of PETA. I chose the lifestyle based on my personal ideals.)

People say I am very true to myself, and consistent in that truth, so I guess I am loyal to me, also to a fault. I could have been more successful if I was yielding, and with age, I am making adjustments so I can have a better future.
 
I am one of the most ruthlessly skeptical, disloyal, to ideas, but one of the most loyal to kind people. Part of this goes along with an overall hatred of opinionatedness. So this also applies to people--it's hard for me to be willing to be party to their opinionatedness, or to "respect" an opinion. I don't respect OR disrespect views, I more or less believe in being completely detached from them.
 
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So, in the simplest way I can put this right now, we have followers and we have leaders. Someone, in my eyes, can be a follower, in which case I may befriend them but that probably won't last forever. Otherwise, they are a leader, and my loyalty to them will be intense, to the point where I can honestly say I would follow them into battle wielding a pencil.
My loyalty is an asset when well-placed.
My loyalty is a liability when the object of it is undeserving or incapable of keeping that bond. As an INFJ I know that this is much easier said than done, but I find it is easier to throw away the loyalty toward those that don't care for it rather than hold that unwilling person to you.
Yes, of course, we can easily be loyal to a fault. That is what tends to happen, and that is the easiest part of us for other to take advantage of. But our intense loyalty is amazing in every other way. It baffles our partners and our friends, it keeps us with the people that are worth fighting for, and it is a perfect representation of how intricate our minds are and how deeply we feel for the people around us.
 
I'm only loyal to my family and very close friends. I'm more than willing to do anything so as to make them happy and easily sacrifice myself for the sake of their well-being. When it comes to workplace, I will be devoted to my work and loyal to my manager/organization if only I'm treated fairly. In matters of fairness, I'm sooo sensitive and once I feel my good intentions or loyalty is abused... I'll be pissed off and find the most humane yet hurtful/harmful way to take revenge from people who try to take advantage of me.
 
Sometimes I'm loyal, sometimes I get bored and just walk away.
I can tell where all my relationships are headed and I accept the horrible way they all unfold.
I just can't for the life of me understand why I entertain it.
 
Asa said:
INFJs are 'known' for having extreme loyalty.

Do you view your loyalty as an asset or a fault?
Please feel free to reply to this thread if you are not an INFJ! Loyalty is not a trait exclusive to us. :)

I believe my loyalty is a fault. It has led to more heartache, drama, disappointment, and anger than anything else in my life.

I also believe loyalty, like 'love', is different for every person. There is an old saying about love: Don't expect others to love the same way you do. The same is true for loyalty.

Don't get the wrong idea. My SO is a loyal romantic partner.
I run into bigger trouble with friends and family, and often make a fool of myself defending my loved ones (including my SO).
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Yes, it could be said of me that my loyalty is a fault, but I consider it my greatest (if not only) strength.
 
People aren't really that interesting to me.
I can just look them in the eyes and see nothing but shallow waters.
I rather go swimming in an ocean.

I'm loyal but I've learned to let go of things that I know won't lead anywhere.
It hurts like crazy.
 
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