Many times I pray, and watch or hear of the prayer being done. | INFJ Forum

Many times I pray, and watch or hear of the prayer being done.

just me

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Feb 8, 2009
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My wife and I are retired. With age comes sometimes physical difficulties. Each of us have problems, though nothing I consider like cancer. It wears on one's outlook sometimes.

I can remember when we were much younger. We had fun and laughed. We smiled and joked. With a cut comes a scar, it seems, and some never go away. She used to shake hornet nests and laugh as she ran and left me to figure out why she was laughing. Each had their own Nascar driver we rooted for, along with her friends. Watching races was fun. We lose a lot of those emotions as others take their places.

I have always liked younger women. I have prayed twice in the last month to have a good-spirited nice-looking young lady to smile at me. I miss the smiles and the eye contact so much. First prayer, she was very pretty and I said "Hello, ladies" as they were passing by. No smile. I looked a second and third time her way. The third time she turned her head and smiled at me. We never talked and went our own ways, but I felt so good. That was exactly what I had prayed for. I made certain I thanked Him for the smile and spirit. Maybe a week later, I prayed for another. This young lady almost ran to me full spirited and said hello to me. She acted all excited. We said our hello's and I said talk to you later or something and walked away from her. Feel good? No, I was elated. Up close and with words. Guess I walked away out of respect for my wife. Where have all the smiles gone? Found them! What to do? Be thankful.

I pray a good bit silently, driving or walking around, in the Spirit I call it. There have been so many times they were answered. They have been answered so much that I try not to have bad thoughts or ill will toward someone. Really!

I thank everyone in my life that has touched my inner spirit to help guide me down the path I have taken. In all these things, I am blessed. I cannot imagine being different from this. I don't want to. I want most people to feel comfortable around me, as little as I talk with them. We all need good smiles and a good spirit about ourselves. There are those I sometimes feel differently toward. I have seen my spoken and silent words come to fruition so many times. It is my life.
 
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It's lovely that you feel so connected with God, Justme.
What void does praying for a pretty, young woman to smile fill? Why ask God for that? –– I'm not really asking you to answer that literally. It's a spiritual question.
 
It's funny, all you need sometimes is a smile from someone to feel happy. It's such a small thing; a momentary expression, but sometimes it seems like it's too much to expect in life.
 
Asa, I ask God because He is always there. Always with me. He understands the need for me.

Sometimes young ladies take things wrong if I approach them. If there are others present, they may take it wrong. When they approach me, it is an opportunity for an old man to feel like he is not old. To feel like I am actually there and part of something. Mind you, I will say hello to most ladies who pass by me, young or old: even children. I always thought, Let your heart be known unto God. I once asked God to allow a someone to see a spirit in human form walking on the water during a questionable time. The woman's husband brought her to my workplace and asked her if she saw me. "Is this the man you saw?", he asked her. She looked me in the eyes for a few moments, then walked away without answering him or saying anything to me. While it was meant to calm people, the ones who were not strongly spiritual questioned those who saw this. Guess they did not see. Some see, or understand, and others do not see.

Matty, a smile turns the hearts of mankind. It is like a cool breeze on a hot summer's day. It warms the heart when it feels cold. Warmth helps to keep us alive.
 
It's such a small thing; a momentary expression, but sometimes it seems like it's too much to expect in life.
Well, you know what is said about expectations.

Tonight, I got a smile, a hello there, and then I was told by a woman that she loved my shoes.

I engage others, and others engage me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cheers,
Ian
 
Sometimes young ladies take things wrong if I approach them.
Why do you judge them? They do not know your intention. Their thoughts and feelings are valid, based on the information they have.

Wondering,
Ian
 
I am not judging them. Why do you read that into what I said? I know what Mama told me. I don't get out much. I don't have really nice shoes, my tennis shoes rating my best, lace ups. I'm still introverted. I can get into deep thought words with ladies better than men, well most of what little time I even speak.

If they take things wrong, I look at my own self and wonder if I should have even tried to speak. This is why I seek it, mainly because I do not have it close to enough for myself. I could write a really good blues song

"I ain't got enough love
Except the love sent from above
I ain't got no new shoes
If looks mean more, then I lose

A smile can turn my head around
If there are any to be found
Hug my pillow every night
Before I can even sleep

Got my ups and downs
Have them blues to take to town
If I'm greeted with a smile
It will last me awhile
Got them blues, them blues
For all the holidays

Baby won't you smile
Yeah baby won't you smile with me

It makes me feel similar to this young lady

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I am not judging them. Why do you read that into what I said?
Fair enough, and I misspoke, so I apologize. You are not judging them, but judging their thought and/or feeling.

Best,
Ian
 
Fair enough, and I misspoke, so I apologize. You are not judging them, but judging their thought and/or feeling.

Best,
Ian
No again. I am rather discerning how some people act. It is an observation. My heart is filled with sorrow to see how so many people ignore others, sometimes out of fear of people whose intentions are not healthy.
My heart rejoices to see someone react in a positive, to me, manner. I really think judging to be like placing a label on someone. I'm not doing so. I am rather seeing the differences in human reactions nowadays. One reaction makes me happy. Those who do not respond to my liking are fine, just not my favorite. I am not condemning them.

Judge ye not; for with what measure ye judge others, that same measure will be how you are judged. Bible

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It's funny, all you need sometimes is a smile from someone to feel happy. It's such a small thing; a momentary expression, but sometimes it seems like it's too much to expect in life.
I was brought up to smile at everyone I'm in close proximity to, be polite, and say hello to anyone I recognize.
In the cities I lived in and spent time in, people would not even say hello or smile at strangers if we were standing together conversing with mutual friends, even if we recognized each other and knew we shared friends in common. I always thought this was so rude and continued to say hello to everyone in the group.

The concept that a simple smile or hello to acknowledge a person exists is not a contract to continue an exchange is lost on some people.

Asa, I ask God because He is always there. Always with me. He understands the need for me.

Sometimes young ladies take things wrong if I approach them. If there are others present, they may take it wrong. When they approach me, it is an opportunity for an old man to feel like he is not old. To feel like I am actually there and part of something. Mind you, I will say hello to most ladies who pass by me, young or old: even children. I always thought, Let your heart be known unto God. I once asked God to allow a someone to see a spirit in human form walking on the water during a questionable time. The woman's husband brought her to my workplace and asked her if she saw me. "Is this the man you saw?", he asked her. She looked me in the eyes for a few moments, then walked away without answering him or saying anything to me. While it was meant to calm people, the ones who were not strongly spiritual questioned those who saw this. Guess they did not see. Some see, or understand, and others do not see.

Matty, a smile turns the hearts of mankind. It is like a cool breeze on a hot summer's day. It warms the heart when it feels cold. Warmth helps to keep us alive.


I wonder why you don't ask God for connection, inclusion, and relevance and see what he brings you or what he helps you find.

Apart from a brief and polite hello, nod, or smile, many women will take an exchange the wrong way and mistake you for a creep. The percentage of creeps that bother women daily is high, so you could get grouped in with those if you stare or try to engage too long.
 
Ian, Am I declaring something wrong, or merely not making me as happy as I could be?

MBTI uses judging, doesn't it? Guess I'm not anything but one who goes with his feelings as being more helpful to myself, or so it seems.

Apart from a brief and polite hello, nod, or smile, many women will take an exchange the wrong way and mistake you for a creep. The percentage of creeps that bother women daily is high, so you could get grouped in with those if you stare or try to engage too long. I wholeheartedly agree.
Aqualung: Sitting on a park bench, eying little girls with sad intent... just me?

I wonder why you don't ask God for connection, inclusion, and relevance and see what he brings you or what he helps you find.

He helped me to find two sisters I used to work with. Knew them well. I went to where they live, visited, talked, shared, and shot pool. I'll be going back. The wife knows who they are and doesn't mind. I still feel like I'm imposing a bit, but they act like they are happy we are talking again.

OK, though. I'll ask for more. I'll stop being the one that turns away and walks away. Some people can be so delightful. Some, maybe just seek understanding. I may be too cryptic until I get to know you. I talk more freely here than most anywhere else, except trying to paint pictures for the wife. I want to show someone this beautiful tree, yet it comes across as a tree that has lost its leaves. I can't say everything. I never show all my cards to anyone.
Always been like this. Please don't ask why.

Life tries to shape us with what we come across sometimes. I try not to bend or melt into something I am not. I thank you guys for chatting with me. It is great to have someone to talk with. We have moved and no longer are neighbor-free. They are including us and becoming new friends.
 
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Ian, Am I declaring something wrong, or merely not making me as happy as I could be?
Yes to the first part, and as to the latter, thatʼs only for you to decide for yourself.

As it regards the first part, when you said “Sometimes young ladies take things wrong,” it constitutes a value judgment.

Thatʼs your right, but consider that it isnʼt necessary, nor is it helpful, given the absence of evidence in support of your assertion.

MBTI uses judging, doesn't it?
Yes, but judging within Jungʼs cognitive functions, and the MBTI which followed, has a specific usage and meaning which is not equivalent to common parlance usage of judgment, e.g., moral, value, ethical, and so on.

In this way, it is much like the difference between everyday usage of the words introvert and extravert, and how Jung used introverted and extraverted in regards to the cognitive functions.

-------

Engage as you wish. Not everyone will receive you, or understand, but thatʼs true of all engagement.

When I engage with a stranger, I do so with no expectations. Also, aside from me working to meet my own need for social engagement, I never approach with self-interest.

My sense is that people can easily tell, and withdraw or react negatively to what they rightfully consider inappropriate or trespass.

Best to You,
Ian
 
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I'll stop being the one that turns away and walks away.

I think you should be light, polite, and brief with women you smile at and that you should walk away. Lingering, staring, etc, gives the wrong message.

If you want to interact with people, perhaps you could volunteer somewhere –– at church functions, an Audubon center, or a museum, for example.

They are including us and becoming new friends.

This is great news! I hope you make new friends.
 
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@just me it's one of those strange paradoxes that to receive it's essential truly that we give first and unconditionally. The way you express yourself, you come across as hungry for the attention of young women, if only fleeting - your smile to them may well be seen by them as an expression of that hunger. They will pick up on that, mostly subliminally, and the responses you get will be coloured in all sorts of ways by what they pick up.

Try giving your smiles and greetings to whoever you meet, young or old, male or female, without expectation of a return. It's much easier to do this when we are older because we fill the grandparent archetype which is a lovely and loveable one. People are very receptive to that sort of generosity and you will be repaid 30-fold, 60-fold, even 100-fold, but the deal is that you have to be indiscriminate and undemanding in who you give your smiles to.

I don't know if it's the same in the USA, but in Britain if we are out for a walk in the country where there are only a few folks about we greet the people we encounter, whoever they are, with eye contact, a smile and a hello - it's a lovely habit that almost everyone does.
 
I see how honesty may very well be looked at differently, but it is honesty.

Man I know moved to a city near here and hung out at the bars at night. It was a college, now university, town. A few years later he moved back here. Said everyone was now calling him "Sir" and he just couldn't take it any longer.

Being called "Sir" recognizes the fact of no malintent. I have no problems with being called Sir. I also find it common to be misunderstood, which I why I usually don't talk much. If around a few people who have kindred spirits and a lot in common, like deer hunting or fishing, I feel better because I can relate with shared stories. One thing, though: most of my good friends, not all, are no longer with us. I'm old enough to be innocent to the youth and no sign of being without. My Dad always talked with the younger people at church or elsewhere. Heck, he knew most of the children by their first names. When I asked him one day, he said he was too old for anyone to think his intentions are bad. He had lost most of his friends. He was trying to make younger friends so someone might come to his funeral, which they did. He touched many young people's lives.

If I sound sort of "hungry for the attention of young women", I delight when a younger woman nowadays says something to me in a fleeting moment. I, too, have helped many young men. They will come to me at a funeral and thank me for something specific I helped them with. I, too, need younger friends. I'm not a staring Aqualung. I am a man with a good heart that worked in the public and used to receive more smiles than I do retired. To have a college student be nice to me makes my day. It enlightens me from the way I see society falling. Wait, am I judging?

I observe and compare. The young ladies have far more beautiful smiles than the young men do. Had a young oriental woman come to me at a store and opened conversation with me. I asked her what she was looking for. She said all she wanted was a nice man to be with. Nothing else mattered as much as being nice. We talked awhile and she left smiling. I was proud of her for her wants. to be continued, as want to mention the physically and mentally challenged I always speak to and get smiles, sometimes words I understand only by the motions they make
 
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Heard the sounds of a young man with challenges at the grocery store a few days back. He was happy, had a smile on his face, and just talking the best he could. He was moving my way in his electric wheelchair, but stopped close to me. I started talking to him. He pointed at my leather racing hat, then dropped his hand back down while speaking. Without looking at me, he acted happy as he shared a point toward his hat while still smiling. We spoke with each other a few moments, then I told him to take care and went on with my shopping. A man walked up and told me he was saying he liked my hat. I knew that already.

Many parents almost guard their similar children. My hello may be the only time anybody else spoke to them all day, and I usually get a smile. Most people do not approach.

Thought people here, out of all places, would better understand.
 
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1701853174759.png Go Georgia! Who wouldn't appreciate their smiles?
 
Second looks make them happy, too. I was born this way. Do not seek an excuse.

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Try to help make somebody's day.
 
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