MEAN

[soulseeker]

I have often found churches to contain some of the meanest and most hypocritical people that I have meet on this planet. Hence why I don't attend church anymore.

However, don't mind them. If the preist wants to be a jackass, let him be. If the people want to follow him, then let them.
They are only making themselves look stupid in front of god.
You and your father are not the ones at fault.

The priest owes you, your father and god an apology for his ignorance, if he does not give you one then I suggest you find a different church.

Question, has anything like this happened before in the church you attend?

well... I don't really know if something like that happened before
I avoid staying in front or joining activities where people would notice me
so.. I always stay at the back, where people don't see me

Once you let something like that bother you to a certain degree, you give your power away to the people who hurt you. Remember to be a survivor, not a victim.

thank you

Sometimes the people in charge of the institution set the tone. If it wasn't just a one time occurrence, then maybe you can find another Catholic church that better represents your values.

maybe it's just me. thanks

I'm sorry

My other suggestion to you Soulseeker would be to pray for the priest and those that laughed at you and your father, that they will learn from their mistake.
Forgive them even if they don't apologise to you and move on.

I feel bad forgiving people if I don't know if they meant it... what if they didn't mean it... and if I forgive them.. it's like.. I'm feeling superior.. I feel like who am I to forgive someone like a priest?? I wouldn't be able to take it if someone like a priest would apologize to me... I would feel really bad.. so maybe it's just me again but i'm still hurt

i'm sorry that happened to you, it must have felt awful. but if it makes you feel any better, he probably didn't intend to disrespect you or your father, i'm guessing he meant it as an (inappropriate) joke. forgiveness is what christianity is all about, right? so forgive him. even preists have their occasionally offensive moments.

I don't even know if he meant it as a joke or not .... and I feel bad to even think about it .. I feel bad to even think he did it purposely so maybe I'm taking it as something like nothing happened

Going to church does not make somebody a good person. Living righteously does. The two are not perfectly correlated. Mean people may go to church to elevate their social status, or to save themselves from a fiery hell of an afterlife. The kindest person may be non-religious. Can't give people too much credit, no matter who they are. Gotta judge with your own eyes.

Pay no attention to PastaKing. Seriously, just ignore that message. It's not even worth discussing.

thank you

 

[poshlost]

Haha, are you seriously shocked by that? I wouldn't have expected anything different from Cathos.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Soulseeker:

I know what you mean. An impatient or grouchy word from a priest hurts; conversely a kind word from a priest can make your whole week.

When I was younger I had a very good friend who was a priest - and he was very concientious about speaking as the representative of Christ, which he was. I think some priests just become flustered, or through neglect of prayer forget what they are.

When I come across a crabby priest, I always pray for him, because I remember hearing once that there is no one happier in this life than a good priest; and that there is no one more miserable than a bad priest.

 

[the]

I hope things turn around for you.

 

[Krumplenump]

Once you let something like that bother you to a certain degree, you give your power away to the people who hurt you. Remember to be a survivor, not a victim.

I second this. Putting too much stock in and having too much expectation from a society - or organisation like the church - is only going to make events like this affect you far more than they need to.

The 'church-going' life has become just that, a way of life, a routine and no doubt a somewhat repetitive one for the priest in question here. Thus I am sure many such gatherings are devoid of a genuine sense of spirituality or fraternal togetherness. In other words, I am not overly surprised.

If I were in your shoes I'd attempt to get fulfilment from life in areas less dogmatic and more reliable, I'd realise I could be a strong, confident human being without relying on such organisations and this would make events like the one you described unimportant.

Just my two cents.

 

[randomsomeone]

I wouldn't be too scandalized over this. After all, these are people with faults (apparently) just like the rest of us. A parish is an administrative unit of a diocese. It takes care of the basics but does not represent the entire reality. I would focus on that.

Whenever people congregate the human soup kicks in, for good or ill, and most churches have plenty of both. Spirituality is always a mixture...the ideal coupled with the disconnects. It's just that way.

Chances are there was a ceremony involving a family or group about to take place and they were trying to get set up.

Besides, in many Catholic circles being hard-headed is quite the compliment!!!

 

[Matariki]

Besides, in many Catholic circles being hard-headed is quite the compliment!!!

You know what, I think randomsomeone is right on this one. Take it as a compliment, you have to be somewhat hard headed to be a christian.
Not giving into the temptations of the world etc. and following what god tells you.

Reverse psychology for the win.

Why didn't I think of that sooner?

 

[Ria]

It's a real shame to read what happened to you.

It's good to remember though, that for that time, those people were not acting in "lightness". The level of unawareness was just a display of being human and being flawed. It does hurt yes, but it might help to remember you are there to connect with your God on a spiritula level, a one on one level. God was there with you during that test. I hope that reminder offers you a bit of comfort.

 

[acd]

Keep your head up Soulseeker. If there is a god, it knows your heart even if the clergyman and these people don't. Religious people tend to not be any kinder than non-believers. I remember when I was a believer and church hopping, I ended up at a Pentecostal church where everyone broke out into speaking in tongues. I was kinda terrified and just stood there frozen for the rest of the service. Afterwards, I was told I was rebellious and defiant against God for not letting the holy spirit take over me.
It hurts to have someone tell you what's wrong with you when they don't know how earnest you are.

 

[sumone]

Yeah, church hopping is an eye opener.

soulseeker, not everyone goes to church for the same reasons as you.
Just keep your focus on Jesus and just chuckle at things like this and forgive them for their foolishness. That's all it is, foolishness. Jesus didn't waste time on stuff like this I'm sure.

If it would make you feel better you could write the priest a letter telling him how it all made you feel. It might do him good and make him take a look at his behaviour.

Look up every Bible passage with the word fool in it and it will give you a heads up on what to expect from some people!