Merkabah

[Skarekrow]

It sounds like it hasn't been much fun but you've been taking it well with the attitude - hoping it calms down and you get some "leisure" days coming that are just easier on you.

I'm really glad the 12th house moon deal resonated with you - it's a funky position that is different to deal with than all the other placements and it does have both the gifts and curses of that house, which are difficult to explain to most people.

Much love to you too my friend

It definitely resonates and there doesn’t seem anything that is difficult for me to understand as I have experienced most if not all of what the article goes through!
I wonder if the depression from my Mom....the PTSD from my Dad....and this astrological position contributed to me being an INFJ, or if being an INFJ helped to contribute to some of the traits (good and bad) listed?
(Rhetorical question, lol)

It would be interesting to find out all the minutiae of my childhood quirks and track down the source....though it’s a bit late now.



Thanks my friend!
Things are calming...they always do....this is why it doesn’t get to me anymore....it’s just up and down, I’m quite used to it now, haha.

 

[jkxx]

You're welcome!

Things are calming...they always do....this is why it doesn’t get to me anymore....it’s just up and down, I’m quite used to it now, haha.

Haha I rather know what you mean! Though with different details... but yes, after a while we just focus on the important stuff and just get on with the rest as much as we can. Being able to keep a positive attitude throughout really helps, too.

It definitely resonates and there doesn’t seem anything that is difficult for me to understand as I have experienced most if not all of what the article goes through!
I wonder if the depression from my Mom....the PTSD from my Dad....and this astrological position contributed to me being an INFJ, or if being an INFJ helped to contribute to some of the traits (good and bad) listed?

This is something @Ginny and I have been looking into for some time (finding out which placements result in ending up as an INFJ, for example) but it is a huge and ongoing project so for now there are only "leaning in direction A"-type findings and rather a bunch of them. Overall it is easier to read one's own chart and find it can fit rather really well but not so much what exactly constitutes an MBTI type. [Not the best explanation of this either but that's definitely part of it.]

 

[Skarekrow]

You're welcome!



Haha I rather know what you mean! Though with different details... but yes, after a while we just focus on the important stuff and just get on with the rest as much as we can. Being able to keep a positive attitude throughout really helps, too.



This is something @Ginny and I have been looking into for some time (finding out which placements result in ending up as an INFJ, for example) but it is a huge and ongoing project so for now there are only "leaning in direction A"-type findings and rather a bunch of them. Overall it is easier to read one's own chart and find it can fit rather really well but not so much what exactly constitutes an MBTI type. [Not the best explanation of this either but that's definitely part of it.]

Yep!
That’s how it goes...I just wish it didn’t impact my energy levels so much when it hits, but I understand why.
And for sure your attitude has a large role in how you feel.
Unfortunately it can be a challenge to remain positive and still be in lots of pain haha....but it can be done!
I do have to admit that having my ego adjusted periodically by certain natural plants has been a godsend!
Not sure I would be in half as good of a place were it not for that extra help from the Earth/Universe!
Gotta give credit.

Yeah, I fit all the descriptions that I have found and align with to a scary degree at times.
Not just as an Ni-INFJ-A (assertive), but even the zodiac...Taurus, and year of the Snake (fire), have some erie similarities!
Now this 12th house....pretty fascinating stuff!
Anyhow...I cannot remember when I was first depressed...it seemed to always have been there...I would tell my Mom that I’m sad...but couldn’t ever tell her why...I would just say - idk.
Then all the “paranormal” shit that took place as a kid - almost all episodes witnessed by another in my family who also cannot explain.
It’s fun to dissect myself and theorize what came first, or what influenced what?

Thanks for your awesome input!

 

[jkxx]

Not sure I would be in half as good of a place were it not for that extra help from the Earth/Universe!

Haha yes there have been influences which have helped me immensely too, not sure where I'd be (well I am kind of) otherwise, but credit is due as well.

It’s fun to dissect myself and theorize what came first, or what influenced what?

Never take a story told you for granted (of the past) even if the story was told by you
but yes I do this too to try to understand things better, it's like an itch

 

[Skarekrow]

Haha yes there have been influences which have helped me immensely too, not sure where I'd be (well I am kind of) otherwise, but credit is due as well.



Never take a story told you for granted (of the past) even if the story was told by you
but yes I do this too to try to understand things better, it's like an itch

Haha, yes.
No...it’s not in a critical destructive way...but more of a psychological/spiritual dissection of myself thus far from childhood until recently.
Like this idea of inherited depression from my Mom (which we know already runs in her side of the family...I’ve had two cousins kill themselves and I almost succeeded) and possibly fears/anxiety from my Dad and his PTSD from Vietnam.
Never remaining long on any regrets...they no longer exist.
Nor does any of it...but it all helps to form parts of who we are.
Gotta run for now, much love!

 

[Sandie33]

It would be interesting to find out all the minutiae of my childhood quirks and track down the source....though it’s a bit late now.

Not too late. Evaluating and healing ancestrial wounds is important for healing oneself and moving forward.

 

[Skarekrow]

Not too late. Evaluating and healing ancestrial wounds is important for healing oneself and moving forward.

I only meant that I would’ve been nice to interview and examine myself as a child!
Run tests and shit...
haha
Yes, I agree with your statement.

I believe the general feelings of depression I felt as a young child moved into self-hatred/self-critisim around the 2nd or 3rd grade...I’m sure that corresponds with some actualizing of “self” during that time possibly?
At any rate, I feel I’m at a “normal" level of self evaluation for the most part now...but that took decades of work.
I was actually doing a meditation on ancestral healing just the other day!

How are you Sandie?
Lots of love!

 

[jkxx]

I believe the general feelings of depression I felt as a young child moved into self-hatred/self-critisim around the 2nd or 3rd grade...I’m sure that corresponds with some actualizing of “self” during that time possibly?
At any rate, I feel I’m at a “normal" level of self evaluation for the most part now...but that took decades of work.
I was actually doing a meditation on ancestral healing just the other day!

The things you bring up are so touching I can hardly resist throwing in another comment - so yes for me that was age 14, I was just your up-to-no-good (exceptionally so but oh well) kid until then and then it just all shut down, I was completely done in by 18. So what's interesting about Sandie's comment about ancestral wounds is that the 12th house (informally called the house of the collective unconscious and yes that is a Jung association) is known as the house of traits which are inherited/passed down families and generations. It is an open secret that having 12th house planets means one is called to face and try to break a "family curse" which has been running down the family line for some time. Generally the 12th house placements tend to occur in the charts of family members until the issue is finally faced and transformed or resolved.

 

[Skarekrow]

It is an open secret that having 12th house planets means one is called to face and try to break a "family curse" which has been running down the family line for some time. Generally the 12th house placements tend to occur in the charts of family members until the issue is finally faced and transformed or resolved.

 

[Skarekrow]

The things you bring up are so touching I can hardly resist throwing in another comment - so yes for me that was age 14, I was just your up-to-no-good (exceptionally so but oh well) kid until then and then it just all shut down, I was completely done in by 18. So what's interesting about Sandie's comment about ancestral wounds is that the 12th house (informally called the house of the collective unconscious and yes that is a Jung association) is known as the house of traits which are inherited/passed down families and generations. It is an open secret that having 12th house planets means one is called to face and try to break a "family curse" which has been running down the family line for some time. Generally the 12th house placements tend to occur in the charts of family members until the issue is finally faced and transformed or resolved.

I’m sorry that you had to go through similar garbage.
It’s really a terrible place to be.
Every once in a while now I feel the darkness...or I remember the darkness and it almost chills me to my core.
But...you made it...and I made it...and it is possible to escape!
Thank you for all the great information!
I will get to work on the family curse right away lol!!
I wouldn’t be surprised...*sigh*
Well...I have no biological children...so there’s that contribution I’ve already made!
lolol

 

[jkxx]

But...you made it...and I made it...and it is possible to escape!

yeah... occasionally we can be snapped from the jaws of death and that only makes us more determined to do the same for others - but then the successes are intermittent and sometimes - well we just see the "what if" alternative instead - but yes, it makes more sense to focus on what is than the what ifs - or something like that

I'm still pondering that 12th house stuff from time to time since it's just too big to make sense of, and definitely was when I first read about it a few years ago... the darkness is always there, but we have the ability to be lifted out of there, thankfully. Though knowing it is there makes for a different kind of appreciation of life.

 

[Skarekrow]

yeah... occasionally we can be snapped from the jaws of death and that only makes us more determined to do the same for others - but then the successes are intermittent and sometimes - well we just see the "what if" alternative instead - but yes, it makes more sense to focus on what is than the what ifs - or something like that

I'm still pondering that 12th house stuff from time to time since it's just too big to make sense of, and definitely was when I first read about it a few years ago... the darkness is always there, but we have the ability to be lifted out of there, thankfully. Though knowing it is there makes for a different kind of appreciation of life.

Yes...it’s one thing to know sadness...and even the extreme sadness and anguish of losing a loved one....but it is quite another to deal with the kind of darkness that I assume you understand from this description.
To actually feel some form of contentedness that only came after I cut my arteries and knew I was going to die.
Then for years afterward it fluctuated up and down...sometimes triggered by life events and sometimes not.
But it was never the up and down, the highs that manic/bipolar depressives get...just a depressive baseline that would then dip lower hahaha.
Although...this darkness is a place that has given me incredible perspective...for that I am now grateful though it’s nothing I wish to repeat.

 

[jkxx]

But it was never the up and down, the highs that manic/bipolar depressives get...just a depressive baseline that would then dip lower hahaha.
Although...this darkness is a place that has given me incredible perspective...for that I am now grateful though it’s nothing I wish to repeat.

Yep... sounds awfully familiar. Great to say one has gone through it (and how things look now), very much the opposite with the entire process of going through it.

 

[Skarekrow]

Yep... sounds awfully familiar. Great to say one has gone through it (and how things look now), very much the opposite with the entire process of going through it.

It’s funny...because now with the chronic pain I probably have more reason to be depressed....but I have to say with lots of meditation and self-searching, and with some help from the fun-guys to help me pull apart my emotions from the actual pain....it’s so much better.
Please do let me know if you ever need to talk about any such things...I know I still have days that I have to do battle with it...not like I used to by any means (because now I win), but still.
Thanks for all the input and kindness!

 

[jkxx]

I'll keep your offer in mind! For now it's been mostly better (very thankful for that) so actually the times are unusually graceful, relatively, in that regard. But I haven't forgotten the former years and/or have simply become used to how it is now.

Of course!

 

[Skarekrow]

Spoiler: Interesting junk

Sound familiar??

 

[Sandie33]

How are you Sandie?
Lots of love!
:3white:

I can relate. Especially to internalizing things of childhood.
Food for thought: I think we INFJ are born through actualization, with the ability at a young age to assist others in finding the same, and when we cannot, we internalize their pain in a last effort to remove it from them. When we cannot rid ourselves of it, it then becomes our own. Resulting in the sadness and depression we carry throughout life.

And, dearest Skare, you really don't want to know how I am presently. It's a trial time currently, boring and dramatic ,
however, I am flowing along.
lots of love to you and yours also.

 

[Skarekrow]

I can relate. Especially to internalizing things of childhood.
Food for thought: I think we INFJ are born through actualization, with the ability at a young age to assist others in finding the same, and when we cannot, we internalize their pain in a last effort to remove it from them. When we cannot rid ourselves of it, it then becomes our own. Resulting in the sadness and depression we carry throughout life.

And, dearest Skare, you really don't want to know how I am presently. It's a trial time currently, boring and dramatic ,
however, I am flowing along.
lots of love to you and yours also.

Well...all my love and healing thoughts coming your way!


Yes, what you say there makes a lot of sense.
Funny how I continued that and made a career out of it.
Which I suppose was a healthy way to “remove” pain from others.
Probably why it hit me so damn hard when I wasn’t physically able to do that anymore.
Nice insight Sandie.


Thank you as always for your kindnesses.

 

[Skarekrow]

This happened last week...
So the other night we had a bit of rain...but nothing strange, especially for here in the pacific northwest.
Several nights a week @Sensiko goes to hot yoga after work, but stops at home first due to the class time...has some coffee and gets ready.
The road there is a two lane, 55mph country road, really pretty...though nothing dividing opposing traffic...making a head-on crash very dangerous.
I was seeing her off as I always do...and almost always I say “drive safely” or “be careful”....but for the first time ever I said - “Watch out for people drifting into your lane!”...and then I repeated it a second time making sure she heard me.
Even I thought going back into the house....”why did I say that?”...kinda strange...whatever.

Guess what?!
On the way there a huge pickup truck drifted two to three feet over the line into her lane and she had to jerk the wheel to avoid a front collision with the behemoth!
(Seeing my fair share of crashes...a head on driver-side collision with opposing cars at 55mph or over is very, very bad most of the time if not deadly)
She didn’t even have time to hit the horn as she needed both hands just to miss the bastard clearly not paying attention or texting or some dumb shit.
I have to thank you whatever/whomever inspired me to give her a heads up and for protecting her while driving!!
I don’t know if it was me, or maybe it was her and some kind of premonition....or a guardian angel....or the universe...very strange...I have never said that before...not once.
That’s seems much more than just coincidence.

Of course...this is how such things often work...which is why studying them in a lab usually doesn’t work.
The Philosopher CJ Ducasse said:

“There is likely to be just as much wishful thinking, prejudice, emotion, snap judgment, naivety and intellectual dishonesty on the side of orthodoxy, of skepticism, and of conservatism, as on the side of hunger for and the belief in the marvelous.”​

I do believe I will have to side with Occam and his razor on this one - somehow I was meant to forewarn her.
Of all the hundreds of times...to say it that time of all times.
I am so incredibly grateful and thankful that she was okay and there was not a terrible crash...not that she might not have still avoided it...but perhaps the warning was more in the forefront of her mind...idk.

Remember to trust your intuition and those inner voices that on occasion rise up and demand your attention!!
Sometimes there are reasons.

Much love all, have a wonderful week!

 

[Skarekrow]

It’s cool that they’ve narrowed in on a possible link showing how one causes the other - which will hopefully lead to new and better treatments or maybe a proactive way to prevent the onset of depression when pain becomes chronic for someone.
Though I also have hope that any such new medications will be affordable...but that may be hoping too much!

(FYI - These brain alterations can be reversed and returned to a normal or mostly normal functioning level through various techniques...one of which is education...i.e. - learning that your depression is from a physiologic change can make it easier to not blame oneself when depressed)

Enjoy!

Molecular link between chronic pain and depression revealed​

The researchers found that when they treated the rats with a drug that blocked the excessive CRF signals,
the activity of dopamine neurons, which play an important role in the brain reward system, was increased.
​

Summary: Inhibitory inputs to the neural circuit between the dorsolateral bed nucleus of the stria terminalis (dlBNST) to the ventral tegmental area (VTA) increase when a person is in chronic pain.

This alteration is mediated by enhanced corticotropin-releasing factor signaling within the dlBNST, leading to suppression of the mesolimbic dopaminergic system.

The result is depressive mood and anhedonia associated with chronic pain.

Source: Hokkaido University

Researchers at Hokkaido University have identified the brain mechanism linking chronic pain and depression in rats.
Their research, which was recently published in The Journal of Neuroscience, could lead to the development of new treatments for chronic pain and depression.

“Clinicians have known for a long time that chronic pain often leads to depression, however the brain mechanism for this was unclear,” said Professor Masabumi Minami at Hokkaido University, one of the authors of the paper.

The researchers looked at how neuronal pathways were affected by chronic pain in rats.
They used an electrophysiological technique to measure the activities of neurons after four weeks of chronic pain.

They found that persistent pain caused changes in the neuronal pathway projecting from the brain region called bed nucleus of the stria terminalis (BNST) to the region called ventral tegmental area (VTA).

Specifically, they found enhanced signaling mediated by corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF), which is a neuropeptide known to be involved in the negative emotions such as anxiety and fear, in the BNST of chronic pain animals.

Crucially, they showed that this enhanced CRF signaling leads to suppression of the brain reward system, the nervous system that is activated by rewards and related to production of pleasure and motivation.

Suppression of the reward system is considered to be an underlying mechanism of depression, which leads to decreased pleasure and motivation.
“By clarifying the mechanism by which the brain reward system is continuously suppressed, we found the missing link between chronic pain and depression,” says Masabumi Minami.

The researchers found that when they treated the rats with a drug that blocked the excessive CRF signals, the activity of dopamine neurons, which play an important role in the brain reward system, was increased.

This suggests that drugs targeting neuropeptides such as CRF could be developed in order to treat chronic pain and depression in the future.

“These findings could not only lead to improved treatment of emotional aspect of chronic pain, but also to new therapeutics for depressive disorders,” says Masabumi Minami.

Funding: This study was supported by a Grant-in-Aid for Scientific Research (B) (23300130, 26290020, 17H03556) and Challenging Research (Exploratory) (17K19469) from the Japan Society for the Promotion of Science (JSPS), a Grant-in-Aid for Scientific Research on Innovative Areas on the “Unraveling the micro-endophenotypes of psychiatric disorders at the molecular, cellular and circuit levels” (25116501, 15H01273) from the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology (MEXT) of Japan, and the Japan Agency for Medical Research and Development (JP19gm0910012).

https://neurosciencenews.com/pain-depression-molecular-link-14983/



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