I very much hope that the work that you and others are pioneering and championing here leads to this developing into a mainstream set of treatments for managing pain. I think those of us who don’t have a chronic pain problem tend to shut it off from our attention - it’s not an indifference but the way our minds instinctively go ‘there but for the grace of God ...’.
My wife has suffered from severe anxiety related somatic pain for over 40 years. If left untreated her anxiety combined with deep depression becomes utterly debilitating, the pain becomes intolerable and she becomes suicidal - even the slightest stimulation causes the pain to explode even further, meaning that she can’t distract herself. She’s very drug resistant - she’s on a cocktail of antidepressant and antipsychotic stuff that just about keeps her ok most of the time, but which has both physiological and psychological side effects. She’s had extended stays in psychiatric hospitals in four occasions over the years while the medics tried to get a grip on all this.
But here we are - survivors after decades with the problem. It has deeply affected our lives, for both good and ill, mainly the latter. It seems like a taste of hell to me sometimes, but like I say here we are still, and good has come out if it too.
The treatment you are championing sounds like it could be a way of not only helping someone like my wife to manage their illness but maybe to overcome it most if the time and live their lives in a fulfilling and normal way. I doubt it can help us of course because it would be hazardous to use it on top of the stuff she’s already completely dependent on, and we can’t take the risk of actually stopping her current meds which we know from bitter experience is suicidal disaster.
But if it can lead to an effective initial treatment for anyone developing this sort of problem, one that lets them live a normal life free of pain or the ongoing side effects of harsh medications, then you and the other champions of this approach are doing the work of angels.
I hope you are finding some peace and respite yourself. Sending you loads of good vibes <3.
Thank you John.
I totally understand and feel deeply for what you and your wife have endured.
I wish I could help your wife and potentially see if such a treatment with psilocybin could possibly make a difference for her.
Originally I sought it out because of my own debilitating anxiety that arose after becoming disabled and severely depressed.
My own lifelong depression was always treatment resistant...there has never been an antidepressant that has done anything positive for me whatsoever.
Usually it was only negative side-effects.
When the anxiety popped up and got to the level of not being able to speak to a bill collector over the phone without losing my breath...when it was a physical burning tightness in my chest that made me want to jump out of my skin I knew I had to do something.
Drugging myself with prescriptions let me sleep, but also left me drooling and worthless...and frankly the anxiety didn't really go away, it was still there under it all.
Finding this treatment was a lifesaver.
Not only was it effective when other medications had failed previously, but it was non-addictive, and wasn't something that one needed to take on a daily basis.
It really does change the way the mind behaves and responds to stressors and pain.
The anxiety left me...I regained my ability to meditate properly...it pulled apart my physical pain and emotional reactions to that pain - which made all the difference in dealing with it.
Where I used to be emotionally triggered by the constant physical pain, I now could see them and experience them as separate entities without one setting off the other.
When my pain gets bad, I no longer get depressed or anxious...and vice versa, when upset, my pain is not exacerbated.
Recently I've found out that both sides of my family have had extensive issues with depression and similar complications.
I knew that there were issues on my Mom's side but found out that my great grandmother on my Dad's actually was institutionalized for depression and it was this reason why they moved out to the west coast to have more sunshine for her benefit.
I can only speculate how all this was passed down along with whatever PTSD trauma my Father suffered from Vietnam.
I have mostly memories of me being sad and lonely as a child...of course there were happy times as well, but looking back I hardly feel it was a normal baseline.
The psilocybin treatment really does change the way your brain reacts to certain stimulus...chronic pain will physically alter the pathways in the brain and certain areas will become hyper sensitive and overreactive.
Basically running on a high-idle all the time.
Entheogens actually calm this same area of the brain down while also hyper connecting areas that previously had to pass through the malfunctioning areas to reach it's destination...bypassing the need to pass through the "dirty lens" of perception and forming connections around it.
These areas are also believed to be responsible for the seat of the ego...which is thought to be the reason why the dissolution of the self seems to occur during an experience.
This perception change though helps one break free of the self-centered trap of depression, anxiety, chronic pain, etc...not self-centered in the narcissistic way, but trapped by the negative sensations, thoughts, and reactions that leave little room for other people and make it extremely difficult to focus on things other than the suffering going on in their body and mind.
This all of course become further hardwired into the brain over time...it takes only 3 months of constant pain signals to hardwire into the brain and become something chronic in nature.
This can be reversed...but it takes ridiculous amounts of effort and time and support.
That is why things like psilocybin are so promising...it actually shifts the mind into a meditative state by the way it interacts with and binds to certain receptors in the brain.
It allows access to the subconscious without the ego-mind yapping and trying to run the show.
When acting in a normal fashion the ego is only trying to protect from further harm by avoidance and fear of consequence...but when taken to the extreme of anxiety or similar it becomes a state of its own destruction and suffering torture.
Mind you, it's not a magic bullet...it must be properly done in a therapeutic manner and dosage and followed through in proper ways to gain the most potential healing.
Unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone either...but it's shown a much higher success rate and lasting success rate than any drug out on the market.
The experiences can range from indescribable beauty and love that seems to permeate reality itself, to purging of painful emotions where your heart is breaking in two and tears flow freely for hours.
But after all is said and done, I've only seen positive gains from each experience.
Yes, for it to be effective she would have to taper down off her medications...that can be a terrible experience I know.
There are ways to do it though...people are beginning to micro-dose to supplement the antidepressants and then once clear, take a larger dose to "reset" the system so to speak.
There has also been considerable success with MDMA, which I myself am not experienced with...but those I know who have used it therapeutically find it a godsend.
It's quite sad to me really....the potential for these substances was known back in the early 1960's...but was made off limits due to political and social reasons.
And they are not for everyone either...certain mental issues do not do well...besides that certain personalities do not do well...someone such as Trump would no doubt not become a more peaceful and less egotistical person, but on the contrary would most likely find his ego inflated further (if that is even possible hahaha).
This is why you have people proclaiming to be shaman or thinking themselves to be something wiser than they really are.
It does in fact, turn up the volume of certain emotions...which can put you in touch with those that are elusive and difficult to reach by normal means, but it can have negative effects and prognosis's as well.
One must do their own self-work...those who think it will magically fix their issues are dead wrong...it's a tool, but like all tools, can be wrongly used.
One must already be dedicated to helping themselves get better.
I'm so sorry that she has had to endure the pain she has.
I know what that level of suffering feels like.
My hope for the future is this will become available in a therapeutic setting for those that truly are in dire need of help.
Please let me know if you ever want to talk about things in more depth...I'd be more than happy to message back and forth with you about it.
Thank you again for all your kind words toward me and thoughts on the subject.
I hope all is well currently...sending my love.
Sending you good vibe ju-ju. Hoping you're doing well.
