My Boyfriend Is INTJ And He Never Goes Out

[sprinkles]

Does he have a guild or anything like that? Because guilds can be serious business. It can involve addiction but goes into more than addiction and more than being a game, it starts to feel like a sport where in some cases you're obligated to practice, advance and be there for the 'team'.

So in some ways it can be similar to a football club. Members have expectations of other members. Being at practices and playing when they need to play. Other people are depending on it.

If you ask about it and try to understand it, that could get you in.

 

[Deleted member 12009]

I am in a relationship for 2 months now.
My boyfriend is a nice INTJ guy but I kind of have a problem convincing him to go out with me sometimes.
He always wants us to hang in his house and when we're there he just plays World of Warcraft and League of Legends all the time and he barely talks to me. He tries to convince me to bring my laptop and play online games with him but I'm not interested in it. I want us to make out sometimes but he doesn't even notice me when he plays, it seems that video games are all he ever thinks about.

I am thinking about leaving him but I don't really know what to do. Help?

Tbh if you're thinkin of leaving him, first figure out his division in league. If he's plat or diamond, you know you got yourself a successful man. If he's anything below that, leave. If bronze: consider euthanasia for him. Just my two cents.

 

[SpecialEdition]

Tbh if you're thinkin of leaving him, first figure out his division in league. If he's plat or diamond, you know you got yourself a successful man. If he's anything below that, leave. If bronze: consider euthanasia for him. Just my two cents.

LOLOLOL

I have watched some Bronze League Heroes. It's too good. TOO GOOD.

 

[Vict]

Have you asked where he wants to go?

 

[invisible]

what drew you to him? regardless of whether he is addicted to gaming or not, you obviously feel contempt for his main leisure interest. why are you with someone whose interests you cant respect? ask yourself this question seriously, why? i cant make sense of your reasons for being in the relationship. what exactly do you want from an intimate relationship?

 

[iHeartCats]

Does he have a guild or anything like that? Because guilds can be serious business. It can involve addiction but goes into more than addiction and more than being a game, it starts to feel like a sport where in some cases you're obligated to practice, advance and be there for the 'team'.

So in some ways it can be similar to a football club. Members have expectations of other members. Being at practices and playing when they need to play. Other people are depending on it.

If you ask about it and try to understand it, that could get you in.

What is a guild? :S
I just know that he is playing an Elf.

 

[iHeartCats]

Have you asked where he wants to go?

He doesn't want to go anywhere. He always says that he needs to make it to a higher level and then it lasts for hours

 

[iHeartCats]

what drew you to him? regardless of whether he is addicted to gaming or not, you obviously feel contempt for his main leisure interest. why are you with someone whose interests you cant respect? ask yourself this question seriously, why? i cant make sense of your reasons for being in the relationship. what exactly do you want from an intimate relationship?

I was hoping that we would go out sometimes, at least for a walk. I would also like some sex.

 

[invisible]

I was hoping that we would go out sometimes, at least for a walk. I would also like some sex.

wow, there really isnt much holding you two together, is there?

 

[say what]

Have you tried playing videogames naked?


The other thing is - he might just not be for you. At this stage of the relationship, you can't really expect a person to change. It's unfortunate, but it seems like he holds gaming as a high priority in his life. It's kind of like - if you don't enjoy it, and that's what he spends most of his time doing, then you have to decide if (a) you'll join him, (b) you guys can find a happy middle, (c) you'll ignore it, or (d) you won't put up with it!

 

[Racter v2]

As an INTJ, I'll say that you should be honest and just tell him about your needs. As someone said before, he probably doesn't have a clue anything is wrong. If he turns out not willing to change his habits (at least a little) and take care of you, then leaving him seems a best option.

 

[jupiterswoon]

I am in a relationship for 2 months now.
My boyfriend is a nice INTJ guy but I kind of have a problem convincing him to go out with me sometimes.
He always wants us to hang in his house and when we're there he just plays World of Warcraft and League of Legends all the time and he barely talks to me. He tries to convince me to bring my laptop and play online games with him but I'm not interested in it. I want us to make out sometimes but he doesn't even notice me when he plays, it seems that video games are all he ever thinks about.

I am thinking about leaving him but I don't really know what to do. Help?

Sounds exactly like my relationship with an INTJ. It doesn't get better and it doesn't change.

 

[ZanZan]

This sounds like my relationship as well. It doesn't change and it doesn't get better. I have had bought it up many times as well to my bf about our issue. He just DON'T get it. Except my INTJ have depression and insecurity issue. I tried my hardest to help him, it's in my nature to fix it because I KNOW it can. But doing so just end up hurting myself. He rarely have sex with me because he doesn't like his body. Later found out he's on dating site to talk to girls because he said he did it because of his insecurity. I DON'T understand and will not accept that. It seems like an excuse to me. For me, I see it as if you love a person you don't do things to hurt your love one, PERIOD. I never find people get quite understand me. He said he will not do those things again but who knows... I can trust him again but inside my heart, I will always have doubts... =/ I hope yours work out.

 

[Vict]

Sounds pretty boring.

Only 2 months. No harm, no foul.

 

[CogentPursuit]

I was hoping that we would go out sometimes, at least for a walk. I would also like some sex.

You need find someone who shares some interests but should still be willing to sacrifice time to consider his interests as well and he should consider your interests.

If you compromise your time for his sake and he does not reciprocate, leave. You are only dating.

Game addiction is hard to compete with and if that is his problem you need to tell him he has a problem and that if he doesn't deal with it you will leave him.

 

[CogentPursuit]

Sounds exactly like my relationship with an INTJ. It doesn't get better and it doesn't change.

A problem with men nowadays in general because of the addicting nature of video games.

 

[Lexika]

how excruciatingly boring .....

this is why I've been dating mostly EP types they help to draw me out of my introverted shell, expand my experience base and my worldview. i help them to stay collected and to take a break, introvert, and relax once in a while.

don't like dating INTJs or INFPs much. it turns into a borefest where the "relationship" starts existing only as an idea we'd both like to believe in.

 

[Lexika]

I am thinking about leaving him but I don't really know what to do. Help?

He is not ready to make a commitment and get into a relationship at this point. He's going through the video game addiction stage. This may last years. Sorry, but you're just not as important for his as his computer games. If he wants to be in a relationship with a girl, he needs to work on fixing his priorities.

I'm writing this from experience being on the other side, as a girl-gamer who has neglected my s.o. until he left. I wasn't ready for any sort of relationship until I got over my game addictions (unless only with another gamer, but then I'd wonder how healthy that would have been for both of us).

 

[Racter v2]

Sounds exactly like my relationship with an INTJ. It doesn't get better and it doesn't change.

This sounds like my relationship as well. It doesn't change and it doesn't get better.

don't like dating INTJs (...) it turns into a borefest

Damn INTJs, they ruined INTJness

 

[Eventhorizon]

Its funny but I really thought the biggest issue with intj's especially for infjs would be their seeming inability to process anyone elses emotional states or needs.
I simply never would have expected a lack of the physical aspects of a relationship.

Oh and let me say I am fairly certain thats not an intj thing, its an individual thing.