negative aspects of the INFJ

Arsal said:
Ah where do I begin...


Manipulative: Don't try to deny it. We love guilt-tripping others to get our way and we're bloody good at it.

Mean/Bitchy: This comes up when we're being passively angry. Leave it to an INFJ to rip the other person to shreds by attacking the softest spot (that our Ni can see from a mile apart).

Using people as objects: When we're too deprived of Fe, we compensate for it by being extra nice and helpful, especially to people who are not particularly close to us. However, as soon as we get our fill, we move on, leaving those we helped confused and hurt as they probably interpreted our niceness as an offer of friendship.

Self-absorbed: You know it. Everything we do, our martyrdom, our heroism, our altruism (doesn't exist in INFJs, but that's another topic) is for ourselves. Not for anyone else.

Irrational: This is something that less mature INFJs do. When our Ni fails, we take an inaccurate Se judgment and run with it, hurting a million people in the process.


And then there's the self-destructive behavior...

Over-indulgence: INFJ's idea of a punishment.

Tunnel-vision/Over-analytical: When our Ni fails, we start wondering what went wrong and use our Ti to deconstruct the situation piece by piece and focus on a thousand tiny details that are irrelevant to the bigger picture. We keep doing this until someone comes in and kicks us in the shins (ideally, an ENFJ) and makes us see the important bits.

Batshit Insane: If you ever meet an INFJ with a stronger Ti than Fe... RUN. Run as fast as you can. And lock your doors and windows when you get home.


I can go on...
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I applaud you for your accuracy and bluntness. :)

It's usually hard for INFJs to openly admit such things.
 
Arsal said:
Ah where do I begin...


Manipulative: Don't try to deny it. We love guilt-tripping others to get our way and we're bloody good at it.

Mean/Bitchy: This comes up when we're being passively angry. Leave it to an INFJ to rip the other person to shreds by attacking the softest spot (that our Ni can see from a mile apart).

Using people as objects: When we're too deprived of Fe, we compensate for it by being extra nice and helpful, especially to people who are not particularly close to us. However, as soon as we get our fill, we move on, leaving those we helped confused and hurt as they probably interpreted our niceness as an offer of friendship.

Self-absorbed: You know it. Everything we do, our martyrdom, our heroism, our altruism (doesn't exist in INFJs, but that's another topic) is for ourselves. Not for anyone else.

Irrational: This is something that less mature INFJs do. When our Ni fails, we take an inaccurate Se judgment and run with it, hurting a million people in the process.


And then there's the self-destructive behavior...

Over-indulgence: INFJ's idea of a punishment.

Tunnel-vision/Over-analytical: When our Ni fails, we start wondering what went wrong and use our Ti to deconstruct the situation piece by piece and focus on a thousand tiny details that are irrelevant to the bigger picture. We keep doing this until someone comes in and kicks us in the shins (ideally, an ENFJ) and makes us see the important bits.

Batshit Insane: If you ever meet an INFJ with a stronger Ti than Fe... RUN. Run as fast as you can. And lock your doors and windows when you get home.


I can go on...
Click to expand...

You are right.
 
Peppermint said:
I applaud you for your accuracy and bluntness. :)

It's usually hard for INFJs to openly admit such things.
Click to expand...

Honestly from what I've seen INFJ's are stupidly hard on themselves not many others types tend to be the same way.
 
Blind Bandit said:
Honestly from what I've seen INFJ's are stupidly hard on themselves not many others types tend to be the same way.
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Yes, they are very hard on themselves in private, but they aren't keen on openly admitting the worst about themselves publicly.
 
Yup, that's pretty much how it is.
 
Peppermint said:
Yes, they are very hard on themselves in private, but they aren't keen on openly admitting the worst about themselves publicly.
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If I am in fact INFJ as I strongly suspect I am (not sure if I trust online tests, would like to get professionally typed sometime), this is absolutely true on my end for sure.

I'm still beating myself up over crap that happened years ago. -_-
 
I think the reason why im so confused by the INFJ/P definitions is that i have a hard time relating to a "high functioning INFJ" possibly because for the last 5 years ive been a moderate to low functioning person. All these "negative aspects" fit me perfectly. It doesnt help either that J and P scored equal numbers, or close enough (tho slightly higher J, tho i believe i have a low J if that makes sense.:m192:)
 
i think that i'm basically a decent and trustworthy person but my biggest problem has been my anger and probably most of my life has been spent learning to control it. i don't think i've ever seen anyone else rage with the same sort of concentrated focus of which i've been capable.
 
Arsal said:
Self-absorbed: You know it. Everything we do, our martyrdom, our heroism, our altruism (doesn't exist in INFJs, but that's another topic) is for ourselves. Not for anyone else.
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i have to agree with you, because having scrutinised my own motivations in the past, i have realised that i must follow my causes as well as i can or otherwise end up deeply miserable about myself and my life - so in this sense, i am acting selfishly. but on the other hand i think these statements i have quoted are misleading or somehow incompletely true or even possibly untrue, because if i did everything for myself i would certainly be either on wall street or running a lucrative escort agency, just as many individuals who are not like me surely are. and if i did not follow my causes, i would be so totally dissatisfied that some state of affairs such as these would probably eventuate. so i think that i'm probably not just acting in my own interests in life.
 
I agree with that list except for me personally i do not get like this:

Over-indulgence: INFJ's idea of a punishment.
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I ignore things and underindulge on things. It can go either way for infjs.
 
Arsal said:
Ah where do I begin...


Mean/Bitchy: This comes up when we're being passively angry. Leave it to an INFJ to rip the other person to shreds by attacking the softest spot (that our Ni can see from a mile apart).

Using people as objects: When we're too deprived of Fe, we compensate for it by being extra nice and helpful, especially to people who are not particularly close to us. However, as soon as we get our fill, we move on, leaving those we helped confused and hurt as they probably interpreted our niceness as an offer of friendship.

Self-absorbed: You know it. Everything we do, our martyrdom, our heroism, our altruism (doesn't exist in INFJs, but that's another topic) is for ourselves. Not for anyone else.
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yes yes yes this is so true....for me, especially using people as objects and self-absorbed part. :m142:
 
I can be extremely cold and mean when I feel it's deserved. I hate humanity because of my strong intuition and ableness to see through people. People are very, very unethical and it's just such a burden to know this and the fact that most others do not see it. People find me really judgemental. I find that the biggest negative aspect is the loneliness that comes with not liking to be around people and others' lack of understanding you.
 
Getting pissed at exxp's all the time because they can't bloody concentrate! The bitchy thing is definitely true but i have learned to reserve a lot of that stuff (pry because of Fe). Some of the stuff i think up in my mind while talking to pissy customers would get anyone fired but i can use that external "coldness" as a mask to shield what is going on inside and what others see.
 
Self-absorbed: You know it. Everything we do, our martyrdom, our heroism, our altruism (doesn't exist in INFJs, but that's another topic) is for ourselves. Not for anyone else.
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Do not agree. Depends on the situation, sometimes, sure. Sometimes not, for me. Sometimes I may not receive any emotional gratification for helping. This usually relates to following through on promises I shouldn't have made, or was too willing to accept in the first place, or being put in a situation where my role means I am expected to help.

Self-absorbed in general, though, yes very much so. That is until I fall in love, then I pretty much direct all my self-absorbed behavior into the needs of the other person. It's a lot more satisfying emotionally to do that, but recently I am questioning such behavior.

Oh wait... just read this:

Batshit Insane: If you ever meet an INFJ with a stronger Ti than Fe... RUN. Run as fast as you can. And lock your doors and windows when you get home.
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Insane, yes. From my looking glass the majority of the world is insane and I am normal; that's why it doesn't bother me. ;)
 
Although I hate to admit it, I definitely think I am irrational and self-absorbed most of the time. I sometimes think I use my empathy for people's problems to make myself an opportunity to be the hero. Great post.
 
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