Here's a big difference between an ESTP and an ESTJ.
My husband is an ESTP and he never cleans up after himself, he constantly leaves garbage on the counter not far from the garbage can instead of walking a couple of steps to throw it out. He can't even be bothered with putting food or the milk back in the fridge when he is done, he just lives them on the counter. A friend of mine who is an ESTJ is doing work on my house right now and I made him coffee and left him here for the day to work while I was gone. When I came back he was gone. He had finished the cream for the coffee. He took the time to open up the container, rinsed it out, collapsed it and put it in the recycling. I was shocked. Nothing ever goes into the recycling here unless I've done it myself. It's funny but that really stood our for me.
Not all ESTPs are lazy and whithout a shame when it comes to cleaning up their own mess.
Mt brother is a ESTP. He is very organised, respects people, is honest and hard working. He has a tremendous strong will, both with himself and with others.
Some big differences between ESTPs and ESTJs is that ESTPs are more for themselfs, they never take responsabilities, at least they don't do it from initiative. They assume more the role of a shaddow leader, behind the stages.
ESTJs are verry keen and happily, within their own initiative, take big responsabilities and quickly arise at positions of power and authority. Hovewer, their authority and power comes from taking responsabilities, not from brute power and force. They are a very good frontal leaders.
Until today I have yet to see a ESTJ being dominant or rude. Althought they are very strong, and could easily dominate other people, they never do it. They consider it whithout dignity.
A funny story i've heard recently. A girl was dating a ESTJ. And she was very submissive, had all these fantasies to be dominated sexualy and all these very weird things in a kink relationship. The ESTJ guy was strong, a pillar, and respected. In her mind, she thought this was the perfect guy, her dream guy, to fulfil all her fantasies.
She got together with the guy, and the guy said plain in her face that he consider this whithout dignity. He even got very annoyed at her that she even entertained these fantasies in her head. Needless to say, they stayed together for 6 days, and they broke it.
Both of them were astonished by their experience together.
So dignity is a central aspect of ESTJ mindset. I learned this from them. They are extremely confident in themself because they have dignity, and treat others with dignity.
ESTPs are different. Althought they are very confident in themselfs, this confidence is conditioned by the dominant-submissive power-play. For example, if a ESTPs gets his will dominated and subdued by someone who is stroner, they would glaly submit to that, while patiently waiting the day they would become stronger, and reverse the situation, and subdue their agressor.
The mindset of ESTPs is a race: "Its either I submit to him, either he wil submit to me.". Its all black and white for them.
The ESTJ never has any problem with lack of confidence or anything like that. Their thinking goes like this: "Dignity is dignity. No one has the right to dominate me, but many have the right to lead me, because they are more responsable, more mature. etc. SO I will follow the leader, and others with fllow me as a leader"
Form this aspect, ESTJS are more balanced, stable and healthier than ESTPs. Actually, from this aspect, ESTJs are more stable than any other type. They naturaly understand these things very well.