Physical Contact

arbygil said:
It depends on the person and situation. Sometimes I'll be the huggy one, if I feel someone is in extreme emotional distress, and I know it will help calm them. But normally, I don't like getting hugs unless it's someone I'm comfortable with. Hugs are very intimate to me, and I don't like being that intimate if I don't have some kind of deep relationship with that person. Heck, it's hard for me to hug my mother.

Strangely enough, I feel the same way about my real name. Only those with whom I have a deep relationship are allowed to call me by a nickname. With everyone else it just sounds - and feels - weird.
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NYAH! I like giving hugs, arby! How would you like me to greet you then? Just to warn you, if we start off awkward it's going to make me awkward! >___<

And when I get awkward I just blink and smile vacantly. Crickets will chirp...it'll be embarrassing! Hahaha!
:m142: Nyaaaaaaaaaah!
 
That pubescent PE ballroom dancing unit was awkward. Me + partner work with guys? Cold pole and snappy feet.
 
I don't like being touched, even by the few people that I love usually. It almost feels physically impossible for me to give a full embrace without feeling really awkward. I almost never initiate hugs, and I receive them timidly. The only person that I don't mind getting all touchy-feely with is my bf, and I feel best when I initiate it. I don't get upset when he touches me first, but I do startle slightly. I like my personal space.
 
Ender612 said:
Ha. My friends once made the mistake of trying to tickle me. There is a fate worse than death, and tickling is it. I defended myself from death by laughter. Tickling is evil, unless I'm very physically AND emotionally attracted to the tickler. Then it's only SLIGHTLY less evil.
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AMEN!

Squeals of laughter and squishing up in a ball is my ultimate defence system.
 
i used to be ardently anti physical contact, it made me incredibly uncomfortable. this changed in my late teens and now i'm pretty much ok with it. i would hug most people who instigate, but will only instigate myself with some one i feel a close connection to. one thing i won't do though is kiss people on the cheek, not even my closest friend. if i don't like some one i can be quite agressive in my avoidance of physical contact with them, it's one situation that i won't mind coming across as rude.

check this out
http://alumni.imsa.edu/~kraut/skinhunger.html
 
I don't like bumping into strangers in crowded places.

With people I know, I get emotional enough without physical touch, I'd probably break down crying if I was physically near them for too long.
 
amethyst said:
i used to be ardently anti physical contact, it made me incredibly uncomfortable. this changed in my late teens and now i'm pretty much ok with it. i would hug most people who instigate, but will only instigate myself with some one i feel a close connection to.
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I relate to this a lot.
 
Lurker said:
AMEN!

Squeals of laughter and squishing up in a ball is my ultimate defence system.
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Hmm pretty effective defense system you got there.

*evil grin*
 
Being Touched

I've always hated crowds (why are you here? shouldn't you be at work? go home, it's Sunday, go to church, stop pushing me, just disinegrate okay?) and still take the crowding of others as personal attacks.

On the other hand, while I am still uncomfortable with kind, personal touches such as hugs or patting, I welcome them, perhaps even crave them. Earlier in life, I tried to hug family members but was always pushed away. Physical touch to me became restraint, rejection or punishment. Is my difficulty with being touched from childhood conditioning or INFJ type?
 
I'm a hug slut. But neither one of my parents were physically affectionate people at ALL, so I'm always hesitant to be as touchy as I'd like. If I know a person is ok with it, I tend to hug and kiss on the check quite easily. I'm even down for the occasional platonic massage. I don't like crowds though.
 
It really depends on who its with. I'm comforable hugging guys as well ( though I'm straight ) , it just has to be someone close to me. I've never hugged a girl before though :/ and I dont want to anytime soon. Weird for me :/ . But if I have to, I will, as long as the person is close to me. I hate crowds too.
 
I have no problems with hugging, be it a male or female friend. The occasional contact with strangers is acceptable, because the first thing I do in a crowd is determine threat level, which sounds silly, I know. Crowded elevators do not bother me, and I don't really have what you would call a personal bubble.
 
I love physical contact and I absolutely love hugs. I never hugged or accepted a hug from a guy friend though. But my girl friends always hug me and vice versa. But I do notice that some of my girl friends are more comfortable with hugs and physical ways of showing affection than others. I think its mostly the ones who are feelers who like hugs. I know I love hugs. I enjoy being close to some of my friends. I'm very kinesthetic so being touched, even a light tap, could make me feel loved and appreciated, as weird as that may sound.
 
I have an ENTJ friend who thinks it's hilarious to latch himself onto me and yell, "Oh no! I need my 15 feet of personal space." To which I respond by cringing and flailing helplessly.
 
Usually, to me, hugs are to signify certain events. Like "ok it's been nice to know each other but you (or me) are going off far away." - This makes the hug a sort of certifier of our inner connections always, regardless of time or space. It could also be a signifier of meeting once again in the physical and symbolizing how much we have cared about one another while physically apart. It's not always hugs to do this, but could be pats on the shoulder or back, or a good strong claspings of the hands, or a high five works too. Touchings like these are always heartwarmings to the souls.
 
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merrytrees said:
I have an ENTJ friend who thinks it's hilarious to latch himself onto me and yell, "Oh no! I need my 15 feet of personal space." To which I respond by cringing and flailing helplessly.
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Heh, yeah. ENTJs can be surprisingly huggy
 
People I know less cause a stronger adversion response in me.

The other night while I was working, a group of people came downstairs (slightly drunk). One of them works at the front desk with me. He is nice to me, and I don't have a problem with him at all. I could never form a friendship with him though. He came behind me and started giving me a neck massage. I imediatly tenses up, not knowing how to respond. After about 10 seconds I say rather dryly "why are you giving me a neck massage?" He disengaged and walked away. I felt bad cause It seemed like I hurt his feelings, but I did not know how to respond at all.
 
I think it is a culture thing. I dont think anyone really likes being touched by a stranger.
 
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