Questions For INFJs

Reon said:
Basically, I have a few questions revolving around the INFJ type because of a type me thread on typology forum and I was hoping that a few INFjs could answer the questions for me, thanks in advance!

  1. Fe is known for caring about everyone in it's dominant position. When Fe is under the direction of Ni, does this present a situation in which Fe only cares about a few particular people? Or does Fe, even in an auxiliary position, still feel the need to take care of everyone? As it was explained to me, an INFJ could walk into the room and feel the 'vibe' of everyone, all at one moment (I admit, this was probably exaggerated a bit.
  2. According to typology forum, INFJs handle arguments and confrontations by basically ignoring the issue. Whenever someone violates a value on the INFJ, the INFJ basically does a emotional door slam and also kicks the violator out of his/her life. However, is it possible for an INFJ to get into a verbal altercation/fight and basically stand their ground for themselves, something that's typically seen as "Fi?" Would an INFJ disrupt harmony momentarily to gain it, I suppose, is the question.
  3. Are INFJs who have developed Ti good at contingency plans?
  4. Are Fe and Fi counterproductive towards each other in the INFJ? The way Fe was described to me that seems particular insightful is that Fe seeks external harmony so that it can gain internal harmony and that Fi seeks internal harmony to gain external harmony. If I'm understanding correctly, an INFJ would be more likely to make friends with anyone and maybe slightly portray themselves in a different light to better get along with the group while an INFP would seek their core and then find people who enjoy their interests because it is something they both share.
And...that's it!
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1. Yes, that was exaggerated. You ain't a real INFJ if you gotta be in the same room to feel the vibez. With that out of the way: I feel with others, and it is universal. I care as much about my mother as I do about a stranger.
2. I do get into debates. However, if it doesn't stay intellectual, it is neither healthy or effective for me to continue harassing someone experiencing irrational anger (nor would it be productive for me to go full ad hominem).
3. I prefer to improvise, since I really like experiencing a flow state whenever possible.
4. I can't say. My Fi is very much satisfied in any moment. I only really care about external harmony, since that is my harmony.
 
Moranga said:
I'm a shortbus kinda guy. Would you go deeper with this please?
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If a stranger is depressed, they'll make me depressed. If my mother is depressed, they'll make me depressed. If a stranger is manic, I'll get manic. If my mother is manic, I'll get manic. My empathy is direct and universal in terms of both the emotion experienced and the person experiencing it, and I can't say I "care" about my mother more than I do about anyone else. I use Ti to choose who's in the wrong in the moment, and I never pick sides long-term. I have not much personal feeling towards anyone or anything (maybe even none tbh).
 
Moranga said:
I understand, they do that don't they?

Thank you the thoughtful response. To better understand and not to pry. Would you share what the similarities or differences in your childhood experience compared to now are in regards to "love" and what that feels like to you inside? What do you feel inside when in a state of loving or being in love? How does it feel in your heart? How does it feel on your scalp or surface of your skin? What does it feel like in your soul?
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I must first say that I am a highly solitary person, and I have never been very close to anyone. I would not say I've ever "personally" loved anyone, and it's also very much something I feel through empathy. Sometimes some women feeling misunderstood have taken a strong liking to me, and it's impossible not to feel that way back. However, I realize it's just empathy, and I have never been in a romantic relationship. They've always been highly anxious women, and so I start to feel quite anxiously attached myself, when I'm with them. It's not that I don't care, because I think any empath should direct their thoughts on how to best help others. But I don't want to get too attached to that feeling. I guess the closest to me loving someone is when I met an INFJ woman 15 years older than me, with whom I always felt at peace. It felt so good, when most other people are so negative, and naturally I'd have asked her out, were she not married. With her, I just felt warm and calm. Nothing felt bad, and the birds were chirping.
 
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