Reading a Room of People as an INFJ

wiredandwound said:
It became clear to me very quickly, that this forum is to the same degree of falsehood and pride, that any group of self-identified patrons always seems to inflict upon themselves.

Where do you think the feelings come from? The aether? I bet you do.

I guess that the "General sense of the 'vibe' of the place, just happens"? Did you ever stop to think that an INFJ has an inherent ability to absorb social, and psychological ques?

How's this 'feeling of the room'...

You guys just like to be identified as something, because it makes you feel special, and you treat it like your life depends on it. Frankly, I don't give a shit about how I'm identified. My mommy and daddy taught me how to be proud of who I am, no matter what.

I know what my intuitions are, and they have always served me well - to a fault. People, like yourselves, can't handle the truth we know about you. Just like most, you can't look at your own reflection, because it scares the hell out of you - which proves why you need 'Identity' virtue signals.

Deleted member 16771 is the greatest example of this. (What a fake).

You people probably have never met a real INFJ, just a bunch of fakers who need that extra sense of unique specialness, because they were taught in school that humans aren't special, because we are all just a bunch of accidents.

If you didn't understand the INFJ 'stare', or why we keep our thoughts to ourselves, is for this very reason. People can't handle it.

GFY
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Wtf is this shit
 
Thank you for being direct with me. It is all that I really ask for.
My issue with interactions only comes from the peanut-gallery. What most people don't understand about my tone with a specific person, is the results that are achieved. I know some things are hard to hear sometimes, and I often push things for a reason. This reason is to break through barriers to get the person to express themselves truthfully.
When other's chime in, all it does is disintegrate the correspondence.

I feel what people are trying to say, and then try to open the flood gates so that we can be on the same page.

Rarely does this result in bitterness and the destruction of someone's self-esteem, but the opposite.

This has been a learning experience for me. And now I know more than I did before. Thank you again.
 
wiredandwound said:
Where do you think the feelings come from? The aether? I bet you do.
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Lmao. Not this again.

wiredandwound said:
Deleted member 16771 is the greatest example of this. (What a fake).
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I made no bones about the fact that I disliked how you behaved on these forums to other members - that you've been acting like an arsehole - and so I suppose I should expect a certain level of hostility from you.

So far you've given yourself some nice excuses for this behaviour - that you're 'old' or something, and therefore the normal rules of courtesy don't apply to you - conveniently avoiding any show of contrition.

I'm not a 'fake' - I don't even know what you think I could be 'faking' here since I make no special claims about myself - but I do think you're acting like an arsehole and you trigger me like noone else has before on this forum.

wiredandwound said:
I started this Thread because I realized that what I was doing previously was negative, so I wanted to talk about something that would be constructive and positive.
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I recognised that, hence my olive branch in replying to you.

If you would like to hash out this personal animosity we have, then I suggest that we do it in PM. I have nothing against you personally, but the way you've conducted yourself thus far has been inappropriate. I deliberately made my self a lighting rod for this in Horses' thread as I didn't want you to think that such behaviour was tacitly accepted just because you weren't called out on it, and so I don't mind the reaction you've had towards me.

Again, the invitation to PM is there. I will not appreciate you going around the forum slandering (well, I suppose technically it would be libelling) me either directly or indirectly, however.
 
wiredandwound said:
This is exactly why it can so frustrating for me. I leave every single meeting having an understanding, where I know what was actually being said beyond the words. But the issue I have is that Even though I know what people are up to, I find it difficult to address their deceptive intentions without hurting myself in the process.
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I struggle with that too. I try to factor in the overall project's needs and the group(s) needs and they can often misalign. When this happen I note it and talk to my project sponsors to see how they handle it and the long term political game. I try to address it and remove myself from making decisions around it. If no one wants to own a gap - I'll address to the group that a problem exists and we as a group have to decide how to address it. I view my job as serving the project to get completed. In some sense I get to leave the arena that the project lives after 6 months to 2 years.

I work in a very silo'd institution, I have to navigate making sure everyone is included and then no one wants to make a decision.
 
wiredandwound said:
I was reaching out to you. That's all. I just wanted to know if we were cool?
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No you weren't. You were indirectly accusing me of some weird shit I haven't done. Stop doin' that to me and others and I'll have no beef with you.
I don't even know you or anything, so I don't think much of you one way or another. We are neutral.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Lmao. Not this again.


I made no bones about the fact that I disliked how you behaved on these forums to other members - that you've been acting like an arsehole - and so I suppose I should expect a certain level of hostility from you.

So far you've given yourself some nice excuses for this behaviour - that you're 'old' or something, and therefore the normal rules of courtesy don't apply to you - conveniently avoiding any show of contrition.

I'm not a 'fake' - I don't even know what you think I could be 'faking' here since I make no special claims about myself - but I do think you're acting like an arsehole and you trigger me like noone else has before on this forum.


I recognised that, hence my olive branch in replying to you.

If you would like to hash out this personal animosity we have, then I suggest that we do it in PM. I have nothing against you personally, but the way you've conducted yourself thus far has been inappropriate. I deliberately made my self a lighting rod for this in Horses' thread as I didn't want you to think that such behaviour was tacitly accepted just because you weren't called out on it, and so I don't mind the reaction you've had towards me.

Again, the invitation to PM is there. I will not appreciate you going around the forum slandering (well, I suppose technically it would be libelling) me either directly or indirectly, however.
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Noted. Can we move past this now? I appreciate and accept your olive branch with gladness. Please forgive me.

Sometimes less is more in situations like this. I was looking for the PM, and haven't found it yet.
 
wiredandwound said:
Noted. Can we move past this now? I appreciate and accept your olive branch with gladness. Please forgive me.
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If you ask me for forgiveness, I will happily oblige :)

I hope you can forgive me, too, if you need to.

Otherwise there's no doubt that you have some interesting ideas and perspectives so your thoughts are definitely welcome to me.
 
sassafras said:
Have you ever considered that maybe your chief problem here is that you’re trying to present yourself as smarter and more competent than everyone else?
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I see it as a typical progression of relationship dynamics combined with a need to let it all out.
sassafras said:
If the shoe was on the other foot and someone was trying to make themselves feel better at your expense, would you want to listen what they have to say?
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I abhor stealing in any form. This was not an attempt at emotional pillage, but a desire to be understood.

We have already made progress for amends on this thread.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
That's what I thought. Sounds like Se to me.

Ni 'room reading' would not pick up on such details, but woukd just get a general sense of the 'vibe' of the place.

But more than that, an introvert would find it so difficult to be in the moment that noticing these details would be impossible in the face of the constant interior monologue/overthinking that accompanies being out in social space.
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Hi, I'm new here, so what about when you get the physical, tiny details, but the energy/vibe of the room, and stronger energies from some people?
 
Ramon Goudeau said:
Hi, I'm new here, so what about when you get the physical, tiny details, but the energy/vibe of the room, and stronger energies from some people?
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Most of non-verbal communication is intuitive. How rapidly you process and integrate that information may, theoretically, vary by type.

What do you think, @Ren?
 
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