reading people = freaking them out

L

lola

Newbie
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
4
i thought this would be a fun post - how often does this happen to any of you - you're talking to someone and you can read them so well and they start freaking out? Do you guys have any examples of this? Sometimes I do it and it makes me feel isolated and i want to leave a party/big group because i can feel too much of what other people are thinking or feeling themselves. I feel totally claustrophobic and i'm sponging up too much of whatever everyone is feeling/thinking! :m200:
 
Happens to me on a regular basis.
 
Sounds vague and stereotypical, not sure if I believe it. But this isnt me trying to be rude, just honest. Can you explain how you can read peoples thoughts? Is that an INFJ trait?
 
reading people is an interesting art form. Sometimes i think i'm reading someone, and i'm really just projecting my impressions onto them. But sometimes, i get an impression and find that i was right, but instead of immediately thinking that i was correct, i try to be open to what someone shows or expresses by withholding judgment, but i even if i was correct, i don't want to assume that i am naturally correct. But many people have probably experienced this so, not sure it's that unique.
 
Last edited:
A guy once told me I was the scariest person in the room because I saw "everything" but never talked. I wasn't consciously reading anyone, though, so I dunno.
 
lola said:
i thought this would be a fun post - how often does this happen to any of you - you're talking to someone and you can read them so well and they start freaking out? Do you guys have any examples of this? Sometimes I do it and it makes me feel isolated and i want to leave a party/big group because i can feel too much of what other people are thinking or feeling themselves. I feel totally claustrophobic and i'm sponging up too much of whatever everyone is feeling/thinking! :m200:
Click to expand...

All the time. But I never let anyone know. I don't do big groups. Any more than one other person is overwhelming; the information thrown at me is too much to deal with. I think that is the root of my social anxiety.
 
"Reading people" comes in so many forms that unfortunately it's just wrong to label it with one word. Each type reads people, they just do it their own way.
 
aerosol said:
All the time. But I never let anyone know. I don't do big groups. Any more than one other person is overwhelming; the information thrown at me is too much to deal with. I think that is the root of my social anxiety.
Click to expand...

i totally feel the same way sometimes! Sometimes I wish people could tone it down a little in a big room. It's so affirming to hear this, thank you! :).
 
INFJs are not people reading gods I think this myth needs to be busted.

I've known several INFJs who vary in their ability to understand other peoples behavior. Just because you are an INFJ does not mean that your judgments of other peoples motives are accurate and not a projection of your insecurities. Now some INFJs have developed their ability to understand to an extremely high degree and are almost never wrong about their judgments but this INFJ is very rare. The other INFJs that I've known have a really high Bs rate, not that their never right but they are wrong a lot more often then they tend to believe.
:m044:
 
Last edited:
Lucifer said:
INFJ are not people reading gods I think this myth needs to be busted.

I've known several INFJs who vary in their ability to understand other peoples behavior. Just because you are an INFJ does not mean that your judgments of other peoples motives are accurate and not a projection of your insecurities. Now some INFJs have developed their ability to understand to an extremely high degree and are almost never wrong about their judgments but this INFJ is very rare. The other INFJs that I've known have a really high Bs rate, not that their never right but they are wrong a lot more often then they tend to believe.
:m044:
Click to expand...

perhaps you would only know this if you were an infj..... lol
 
I've also seen INFJs make stupefyingly bad judgments about bad people and get themselves into trouble that way.

By the way...

Sometimes I do it and it makes me feel isolated and i want to leave a party/big group because i can feel too much of what other people are thinking or feeling themselves. I feel totally claustrophobic and i'm sponging up too much of whatever everyone is feeling/thinking!
Click to expand...

I too frequently feel like this. Yay for being an INFJ I suppose, cause I'm not.

I do have Social Phobia though, if that is even a disease!
 
Lucifer said:
INFJ are not people reading gods I think this myth needs to be busted.

I've known several INFJs who vary in their ability to understand other peoples behavior. Just because you are an INFJ does not mean that your judgments of other peoples motives are accurate and not a projection of your insecurities. Now some INFJs have developed their ability to understand to an extremely high degree and are almost never wrong about their judgments but this INFJ is very rare. The other INFJs that I've known have a really high Bs rate, not that their never right but they are wrong a lot more often then they tend to believe.
:m044:
Click to expand...


lola said:
perhaps you would only know this if you were an infj..... lol
Click to expand...


Know that INFJs are not people reading Gods? Certainly not LOL.
 
Last edited:
No. When it comes to those I interact with that I am able to read, I keep it hidden.
Not to be creepy, but in a way I don't want others to know which card I hold, y'know what I'm sayin?
I'm not always right.. But usually I'll take note of things and then build up a scenario in my mind of why this person could be acting a certain way.. sometimes the guessing or connecting the dots is right. Sometimes not.

I'm better at reading people in relation to other people than I am to myself, though.
In which case I will say: "This guy is bad news." But usually, it's not listened to.
 
Last edited:
Not outwardly at least. Usually I just freak myself out and get up and leave.
 
Lucifer said:
INFJs are not people reading gods I think this myth needs to be busted.

I've known several INFJs who vary in their ability to understand other peoples behavior. Just because you are an INFJ does not mean that your judgments of other peoples motives are accurate and not a projection of your insecurities. Now some INFJs have developed their ability to understand to an extremely high degree and are almost never wrong about their judgments but this INFJ is very rare. The other INFJs that I've known have a really high Bs rate, not that their never right but they are wrong a lot more often then they tend to believe.
:m044:
Click to expand...

+1 im getting sick of people buying into the stereotypes and all that. It seems like reading the type descriptions gives people something to live for, so they go from being a regular person to a total weirdo with this stuff and its mad annoying. Putting 1 and 1 together is something that comes easy because of Ni, has NOTHING to do with reading peoples thoughts or feelings. There is nothing magical or psychic about it. And it is only ever accurate when we know someone well enough. You cant meet a perfect stranger and "read" them and know what they are about, not with any real certainty.
 
I don't know if it "freaks them out". Just I guess, if you comment on all there moves it does. I wouldn't want someone bringing up everything about me either.. it would weird me out too. I'm not very animated at times, but I feel like people can read me when I'm not going out of my way to hide my emotions, I hide them frequently. Maybe they are unconsciencously responding to subtle behaviors though, I really don't know if others sum a person up in there head like I do.

There are too many variables to take into consideration to sum up a person completely. You don't know their lives, they could be having a bad day or good day, etc.

Also just want to point out, that reading body language, etc, in a defined way is flat out creepy. I was watching this dating show about millionaires finding their true love. And there were judges watching with cameras while they were dating to read the body language of the two. They were commenting on literally every subtle movement, like "omg he touched his face that means he's insecure" ... "omg he just folded his arms that means he's not open to the conversation". And the judges literally believed all of this. I don't think one body behavior means definitely x for all humans. I like crossing my arms in certain situations, including when I'm being receptive and open during a discussion.
 
I do this a lot, and it makes it hard for me to make friends. When I first meet someone, within 15 minutes I feel like I know them better than they know me. The imbalance this creates is really stressful, so I usually leave with a bad impression of the person.
I don't really think that reading people is an INFJ thing always - so beyond MBTI, I only know one person (ENFP I think) who I feel like can see through me. In my conversations with him, I often feel really violated, like he's staring right into my soul. I suppose that's just the way others feel when I talk to them.
 
If I do, I don't consciously notice it... If I do notice it, I just brush it off as me stereotyping. Or something... Not even 100 percent sure what reading people really is. Can someone explain it?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top