Relationship for 1.5 years: too soon for marriage?

Artemisia said:
Deleted member 16771, so what do you suggest? As a woman with an academic career, I should be looking for someone who doesn´t have a good job and follows a sub-par standard of living? If you had any experience with academics, you would know that we are not materialistic in the least, and a "good job" or "standard of living" does not equal materialism.

You said: "You are an academic. Get on JSTOR and read the literature on the causes of depression."

That makes no sense whatsoever. Never did I mention that I was depressed. And, fyi, JSTOR is far from the place to actually search for literature on depression.
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Do what you like.
 
I think the main point here Artemisia, is that if you're seeking stability and long term better quality of life with a partner who wants the same things you do and work towards those goals, the fiance you describe does not seem to be the person to give those things to you because it seems you have different priorities or goals. Nothing is wrong with wanting to have a partner who is financially stable or wants to build a life that is headed towards better finances in the future, but if you focus solely on this and nothing else or choose someone who doesn't value this as much as you, then you will not likely have the relationship you desire so strongly or the one you dream of.
 
i'll be lucky if i don't end up as a hobo, i have no time to think about marrying anyone
i advise you to do what you want, you'll always have divorce as a way out

you are J so you should be okay about weddings and all the food and the people and the should dos implied in such an antique ritual
my bet is that you feel lonely
i dunno, you know i had this gf who was a J; i think ESTJ, and she wanted to marry me, after living together for 2 months. XD i said NO WAY WTF, ran.
when i said to her that i thought she was obviously desperate to meet society needs of not being alone when you are almost 30.... she blew up on fire and displaced me at least 20 meters away with a waveshock of compressed air

i recommend you to watch the lobster before deciding
 
TheGoodOlDrama said:
i'll be lucky if i don't end up as a hobo, i have no time to think about marrying anyone
i advise you to do what you want, you'll always have divorce as a way out

you are J so you should be okay about weddings and all the food and the people and the should dos implied in such an antique ritual
my bet is that you feel lonely
i dunno, you know i had this gf who was a J; i think ESTJ, and she wanted to marry me, after living together for 2 months. XD i said NO WAY WTF, ran.
when i said to her that i thought she was obviously desperate to meet society needs of not being alone when you are almost 30.... she blew up on fire and displaced me at least 20 meters away with a waveshock of compressed air

i recommend you to watch the lobster before deciding
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"watch the lobster before deciding"... is this a film or some sort of euphemism that I am not familiar with?
 
neko said:
"watch the lobster before deciding"... is this a film or some sort of euphemism that I am not familiar with?
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It's a film about how society goes about you for not having a partner, just very subliminal going to bed. Questions closed for now
 
If you love each other and are ready to live together all your life sharing both joy and problems, then I see no reason not to get married.
 
noisebloom said:
Yes, there are all cultures that have high percentages of successful marriages without either party having much prior knowledge of each other. However, most of these cultures place a large amount of pressure on making marriages work or even stigmatize divorce.
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Wanted to requote to emphasize / make sure it's not tucked away -- this is an extremely important point, and one I was preparing to write before I saw someone already said it.
There's basically no question that the intense stigma around separation of marriages plays a big role in some cultures -- it also colors the general vibe, where marriage is considered more like a duty than about your individual nature. If you go in with this attitude strongly binding both parties, that's much more likely to me to work out without getting to know one another sufficiently long.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Lol

Beg pardon, I can empathise with the anticlimax.
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wilted-flower_1f940.png
 
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