I think all people get sexual boredom, frustration, etc eventually.
Many, likely most, but not all.
Our senses and enjoyments seem to follow a pattern of diminishing returns over time.
All other things being equal, in general, I agree with this. As with all mammals, humans desensitize to repeated stimulus inputs, whatever the domain.
If my assumption is correct (even admitting some exceptions), the best approach isn't one which addresses sensual preferences or an exploration to discover preferences, but rather an approach which addresses relationships which can be satisfying once the novelty of sex fades.
This sounds good, but there are many ways that relationships can be addressed in this context.
Given most relationships seem to display a reduction in sexual excitement and enthusiasm over time, but not a reduction in love, doesn’t this suggest something is inherently wrong with most LTRs, at least on a sexual basis?
No, not necessarily. Given no other information, I’d always bet on communication issues, lack of mutual reciprocity, ignorance (willful and otherwise), unmatched/unheard/unappreciated expressions of love, and personal issues that present outside the bedroom first, before thinking there was something wrong sexually.
Of course, there you have things like libido mismatch to deal with, among many other things.
If a couple lose interest in sex per se, that’s fine. But I suspect most don’t and simply are either accepting this to maintain the relationship or don’t realise what they are missing
The former, yes, the latter, definitely not. People know what they are missing. I’d suggest a certain subreddit, but I don’t want to depress your mood, lol.
Wouldn’t it be better if we acknowledged the ‘7 year itch’ phenomenon and then we could perhaps have the dual benefit of exciting sex and a loving LTR?
Aside from everything else mentioned here, I agree in general, but not everyone experiences said itch.
Accepting that sex isn't as important as committed long-term exclusive love is both old school, and radical today.
Agreed, so agreed.
The normal behaviour demonises anything different as odd or silly or immoral, when it absolutely doesn’t have to be.
Well, maybe mainstream media and its normal, but the world is much bigger than that, and people choose and act accordingly, each according to their need. Are some trapped by mainstream media normal? Sure, but some also find themselves and find a way out. The mainstream is usually a shit yardstick by which to consider one’s life.
It’s either conventional societal norms of marital sex with affairs, or swinging, serial bed hopping. No in between.
Perhaps in the mainstream, but as I said, the world is much bigger than that. People make choices and engage with others in all kinds of ways that will never be described or portrayed in the mainstream, or called normal, even those activities that would otherwise be described as vanilla.
Sex is so particular to the individuals involved that only the most genericized and banal versions are suitable for marketing purposes (commercially prostituted for the purpose of generating profit).
With a new partner, or partners, you have to reach a mutually-agreed-upon set of rules of engagement. Each time, every time. That means you have the opportunity to advocate for both what you bring to the table, as well as what you need and want. That agreement is living in that it must be recreated continually, is subject to revision and addition, and must remain mutually-agreed-upon.
In this way, the primary limitation to our happiness, well-being, and pleasure is typically ourselves. I say, get out of your own way and go live the life you want.
Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter won’t mind.
Cheers,
Ian
