saddesting thing you lived to see

[Anomaly]

My uncle. One moment, he was laughing and taking about Jesus. The next, he was choking on a piece of steak with a fear in his eyes that went beyond "I can't breathe". The panic in his face as he pointed to my father and then my father's panic as he rushed over to do the heimlich... then my uncle falling limp and using the restroom on himself in a crowded restaurant.

Paramedics for there fast but he was already having a heart attack from literally being scared to death. I was eighteen, and it was my return celebration as I had just came back home from Colorado after being there a few months.

Another situation is when I was interviewing for a position at a nursing home. A frail old man was trying to get a nurses attention but he could barely speak. Every time she or anyone else walked past him he would reach for them from his wheelchair, like a small child wanting to be held. Nobody acknowledged him. I went home sobbing and wrote a poem about him. I still think about him and often wished I'd tried to console him. But I was meant to be following the interviewer to a room to be interviewed.

Another situation is a video that my cousin posted on FB of a tiny black kitten being put in a Tupperware container, being doused with what I thought was water while it was mewing profusely and loudly, and then watching as someone laughed and lit a match and the kitten was engulfed immediately in flames because whatever they poured on it was a flammable liquid. I quickly turned off the video because I didn't want to see the kitten suffering and then told my cousin if she ever shared anything like that again I would remove her because it fucked with my head to be thinking the kitten was getting a bath and then see someone light it on fire and laugh.

I. Fucking. Hate. People. I hope whoever they were in that video gets severely burned and dies while someone else is laughing at them. Might sound harsh, but people that evil deserve to burn.

This is all terrible. I feel so sad for your uncle having to die that way. For the elderly man who was so lonely. And the poor defenseless kitten.

You have a beautiful heart, April. I understand why you feel the weight of all of this. The world is full of kindness, joy, gentleness, and love too, but it can be so hard to see. Try to remember that it exists all around you. You are one that shines that way to others too. (Hug)

 

[April]

This is all terrible. I feel so sad for your uncle having to die that way. For the elderly man who was so lonely. And the poor defenseless kitten.

You have a beautiful heart, April. I understand why you feel the weight of all of this. The world is full of kindness, joy, gentleness, and love too, but it can be so hard to see. Try to remember that it exists all around you. You are one that shines that way to others too. (Hug)

Thank you. I needed to hear that. Yes, there is good in the world and not everyone is as cruel as those few individuals. Thank you for this reminder and for the example too. Your kindness is showing and it means a lot to me. To the world. Whether you know that or not. You do make a difference with every kind choice you make, Lore. <3

 

[flower]

My mother being unconscious and put into a medically induced coma, spending months in the intensive care unit and fighting for her life every single moment (this happened in 2018). Going to the hospital every day to visit her, holding her hand and talking to her while tears flowed down my cheeks. A constant beeping sound coming from all these various machines that were keeping her alive, also nurses and doctors taking care of her. She was lying on the hospital bed and was completely lifeless, very pale and fragile. The most saddest months of my whole life.

She survived and she is okay now, though she has gone through other very traumatic things as well as organ transplantation (two organs) some years ago before that.

She is an absolutely incredibly strong and beautiful person, love her so much. <3

 

[Anomaly]

My mother being unconscious and put into a medically induced coma, spending months in the intensive care unit and fighting for her life every single moment (this happened in 2018). Going to the hospital every day to visit her, holding her hand and talking to her while tears flowed down my cheeks. A constant beeping sound coming from all these various machines that were keeping her alive, also nurses and doctors taking care of her. She was lying on the hospital bed and was completely lifeless, very pale and fragile. The most saddest months of my whole life.

She survived and she is okay now, though she has gone through other very traumatic things as well as organ transplantation (two organs) some years ago before that.

She is an absolutely incredibly strong and beautiful person, love her so much. <3

Wow, what a harrowing story of perseverance and human strength. She sounds like an incredible woman, flower. I'm so happy that she is doing well now. <3

 

[flower]

Wow, what a harrowing story of perseverance and human strength. She sounds like an incredible woman, flower. I'm so happy that she is doing well now. <3

She is amazing and in many ways a huge inspiration for me. Thank you for the kind words. <3

 

[InfernoMink]

My uncle. One moment, he was laughing and taking about Jesus. The next, he was choking on a piece of steak with a fear in his eyes that went beyond "I can't breathe".

Another situation is a video that my cousin posted on FB of a tiny black kitten being put in a Tupperware container, being doused with what I thought was water while it was mewing profusely and loudly, and then watching as someone laughed and lit a match and the kitten was engulfed immediately in flames because whatever they poured on it was a flammable liquid. I quickly turned off the video because I didn't want to see the kitten suffering and then told my cousin if she ever shared anything like that again I would remove her because it fucked with my head to be thinking the kitten was getting a bath and then see someone light it on fire and laugh.

Been there two years ago, one moment I’m in walking in my bedroom eating some broccoli and when I put the piece in my mouth, I knew it felt a little big, I must have chewed it half-heartedly because when I went to swallow, it don’t go all the way down.
I remember wanting to clear the frog in my throat but it wasn’t working. Within seconds, I knew I couldn’t breathe out my mouth or nose. I knew I was in trouble. I remember for a brief moment my brain accepting my death.
All I could think of was how stupid I was not to chew that piece of broccoli thoroughly, how stupid my death was going to be. Then suddenly, it dislodged and everything was colorful again.

And yes, nothing makes me sadder and nothing turns my sadness into rage more than animals being hurt for entertainment and profits.
Animal cruelty has always made me sad and is the main reason I went vegan almost nine years ago. Fuck Ag-Gag Laws too! If people had not secretly recorded the video I watched of piglets being thumped, I may never have went vegan.

 

[April]

Been there two years ago, one moment I’m in walking in my bedroom eating some broccoli and when I put the piece in my mouth, I knew it felt a little big, I must have chewed it half-heartedly because when I went to swallow, it don’t go all the way down.
I remember wanting to clear the frog in my throat but it wasn’t working. Within seconds, I knew I couldn’t breathe out my mouth or nose. I knew I was in trouble. I remember for a brief moment my brain accepting my death.
All I could think of was how stupid I was not to chew that piece of broccoli thoroughly, how stupid my death was going to be. Then suddenly, it dislodged and everything was colorful again.

And yes, nothing makes me sadder and nothing turns my sadness into rage more than animals being hurt for entertainment and profits.
Animal cruelty has always made me sad and is the main reason I went vegan almost nine years ago. Fuck Ag-Gag Laws too! If people had not secretly recorded the video I watched of piglets being thumped, I may never have went vegan.

Eek, so happy it dislodged. Sorry you went through that but happy you made it! I feel the same about animals although I'm not vegan. But it makes me insanely furious.

 

[aeon]

@April

*hugs* if you accept. I’m so sorry you have seen what you have seen.

I’ll say something I remember fondly that is related to part of what you said.

When I was in rehabilitation, once I could again walk I would visit many other residents. I would give fast wheelchair rides, talk with everyone, and listen to their stories. Those that didn’t want engagement were left alone. There was a woman there who no one seemed to talk to, and she didn’t talk with anyone either, because she was always reading, or napping. When she would fall asleep in the dining area, I would ask if she would like a ride back to her room. She accepted, and after a few times, we began to talk and develop a friendship.

Her name was Ursula, and she was 98 years old. Long white hair, frail, but her eyesight was such that she could read without glasses, and her hearing was fine. She brought me into her room once to show me the black Singer sewing machine she bought in 1950 when she was 30 years old. I found out that she liked music, and because I had a speaker in my room, she would come hang out and I would play her favorites...Led Zeppelin (!) and Black Sabbath (!!). I asked if she discovered that music later in life, and she said no, she first heard Led Zeppelin in 1968, when she was 48 years old, and Black Sabbath a few years later. She then told me that her liking rock music led to her divorce because her husband thought it was a bad influence.

I knew other folks too, but Ursula was the sweetest and kindest, and was willing to really gab. I loved when she would address me as “young man.” But I was. She was 49 years old the day I was born. My entire lifetime ago, but only exactly half of hers.

Some people there were lonely, but maybe a little less so while I was there.

Cheers,
Ian

 

[April]

@April

*hugs* if you accept. I’m so sorry you have seen what you have seen.

I’ll say something I remember fondly that is related to part of what you said.

When I was in rehabilitation, once I could again walk I would visit many other residents. I would give fast wheelchair rides, talk with everyone, and listen to their stories. Those that didn’t want engagement were left alone. There was a woman there who no one seemed to talk to, and she didn’t talk with anyone either, because she was always reading, or napping. When she would fall asleep in the dining area, I would ask if she would like a ride back to her room. She accepted, and after a few times, we began to talk and develop a friendship.

Her name was Ursula, and she was 98 years old. Long white hair, frail, but her eyesight was such that she could read without glasses, and her hearing was fine. She brought me into her room once to show me the black Singer sewing machine she bought in 1950 when she was 30 years old. I found out that she liked music, and because I had a speaker in my room, she would come hang out and I would play her favorites...Led Zeppelin (!) and Black Sabbath (!!). I asked if she discovered that music later in life, and she said no, she first heard Led Zeppelin in 1968, when she was 48 years old, and Black Sabbath a few years later. She then told me that her liking rock music led to her divorce because her husband thought it was a bad influence.

I knew other folks too, but Ursula was the sweetest and kindest, and was willing to really gab. I loved when she would address me as “young man.” But I was. She was 49 years old the day I was born. My entire lifetime ago, but only exactly half of hers.

Some people there were lonely, but maybe a little less so while I was there.

Cheers,
Ian

Aww Ian.

Of course I accept the hugs! And I'm so happy you shared that beautiful story. The world needs more people like you. Thank you for being with those patients and Ursula. <3 What a difference I know you made! <3

 

[Korg]

I. Fucking. Hate. People.

Do you feel like you have a moral responsibility to not go full misanthrope?

How do you restore / maintain your faith in our species?

 

[April]

Do you feel like you have a moral responsibility to not go full misanthrope?

How do you restore / maintain your faith in our species?

I don't know if it's a moral thing or just me being me, but I always try to see the best in people. Generally like in these circumstances like with the people torturing the kitten for fun, I only develop a burning sense of disgust for them. It doesn't bleed out into all humanity or anything so when I say I hate people I only mean it towards those types of people and then I really only hate the behavior. Because well they could have been abused or something too. However nothing burns me more than willful harm of the defenseless and once you do that you have a long way to go to prove to me that you're good if you are.

So I fucking hate people sometimes. When they do bad shit.
But I also love them and want to hope they can be redeemed or give me a reason to believe they aren't just evil.

I accept that I am complicated so I will attempt to explain no further i will just confuse you and myself too

 

[just me]

Saddest thing I've seen with my two eyes? IRL? In my mind? In my sleep? In the last how many years? As a child? Spiritually?

Sad things say so much( stolen from sad songs).

As a whole, I really expected much more out of people. Greed. Stealing. Liars. Those who think they are threatening you. Children abused. Children that can never reach their potential. People living with feces and the likes on and around, then drinking bad water. Children being pulled by their shoulders and being told they will never amount to anything, and they will never stop being a problem. Parents that refuse to let their children be who they are. A parent telling a child that has had to wear cheap clothing all her life getting a job, and buying a pair of nice pants and boots for themselves; while the "Dad" makes fun of her at church in front of others for being stupid and spending their money. Parents not getting proper care for their children. Children not getting proper care for their parents. A gosling abandoned in a cracked egg that cannot muster the strength to crawl free from the yoke to breathe. "We fixed that , and they all rejoined in the morning after a night with a light bulb, water, and a towel covering the box." A broken spirit. Evil in High places. People who cannot stop doing drugs and drinking, pissing in their own bedroom trashcans and thinking they are cool. Yes, I am saddened by humanity as a whole. Wives spending a week in the hospital and not having someone to check on her husband, who is on dope and has pneumonia. Finding him when he only has prayers left.

It was a sad day to introduce a friend to another girl, not knowing she had a crush on you. I felt like dying. Not visiting a girl when she turned 16, knowing she might be better off with someone more normal. Sad day that has lived with me over 50 years.
I didn't have a car that would reach her. Should have taken a bus. Didn't think about it. Stupid. She was like a soulmate for me.

Sad when a good friend lost her husband and had a new baby. Started going and walking the crib around with her in the evenings. Could not get a friend hug she was so hurt, and I could not deal with it without a hug.

Sad to see people not do what they should, now that we are on the subject. Misunderstanding is sad. Yet, I look forward to seeing birds around the feeders and plants. I love nature.

Saw a drunk walk in front of a car and get decapitated one car in front of me. The feeling I can do nothing to help makes me very sad. I don't even try when all looks lost. Physical healing was not one I prayed for.

 

[Spidertrader]

Men starting to cry and taking off their jewelry when they get convicted and before they get taken away by the bailiff.

They know what is waiting.

I worked in one of the most notorious gang areas in the Western Cape of South Africa when I was in training. Polls Moore prison is where you are kept awaiting trial - it can be for two years. There are up to 86 in a cell for 19.

Most of the men arrived at court sick. Many times for petty theft the magistrates decided that Polls Moore was enough and they then just issued a suspended sentence to taint the criminal record.

One time my client could not sit for 10 minutes in court without needing the bathroom - I had to request stepping down regularly but all persisted just to get a verdict and the chap released - otherwise he would have had to go back.

He stole a candy bar because he was hungry. He was so glad he gave me a kiss - before I could duck - to my horror he had aids. I just thank God for His protection at the time.

By that time he was already 3 months at Polls Moore awaiting trial.

My best friend, a small blonde, but sharp girl, worked only for gang members. One day in court the gang leader of the "Americans" grabbed her and threatened to cut her throat with a knife. She worked for the "Americans" but this time she represented a member of the "28th's". He considered her un-loyal as the "28ths" and the "Americans" where archenemies.

 

[just me]

Sad to see a world leader try to wipe away 30 plus years of history and act like Hitler. Their blood will be on his head, and he will never ever stop hearing the sadness.

 

[Matty]

Families struggling to look after elderly relatives. There's something so saddening about people taking care of a loved one, when they know that beloved family member isn't going to get better, but just gradually deteriorate.

Show your elderly relatives some love while they're still around.

 

[keyring]

when I was a kid I saw a donkey pulling a cart twice its' weight is able to pull, it was raining too so furcoat was soaked and the legs barely held him together. I looked into those soft black eyes from a distance and it was in a sort of.. surrendered anguish. This was common sight, in some rather third world countries.