Should one be proud of who he or she is?

[sprinkles]

I found a wikiHow on how to be proud of yourself (lol) and upon reading it, it became apparent that a lot of this stems from humans propensity for being dualistic and binary. The wikiHow instructions seemed so hokey and superficial to me, but almost cute in some naive way.

 

[barbad0s]

I found a wikiHow on how to be proud of yourself (lol) and upon reading it, it became apparent that a lot of this stems from humans propensity for being dualistic and binary. The wikiHow instructions seemed so hokey and superficial to me, but almost cute in some naive way.

Are you saying that in thinking that people should not get down on themselves, dualistic thinking makes them assume that they ought to arbitrarily be confident in themselves all the time.

 

[sprinkles]

Are you saying that in thinking that people should not get down on themselves, dualistic thinking makes them assume that they ought to arbitrarily be confident in themselves all the time.

Well something like that.

That might not be entirely the intention of the concept, but it happens with people's binary thinking. Good or bad. Happy or sad. All or nothing. Awesome or nobody. So many extremes.

Edit:
Also consider Yin and Yang. As you might know they are meant to be a continuous cycle, not binary and polar opposites. As one turns the taijitu around they will see that the Yin aspect or Yang aspect diminishes from a large blob down to a skinny tail, and at the same time this is happening, the opposite aspect is increasing from the skinny tail to the large blob - but wait, when you get to the large blob, there's still an opposite dot there.

 

[just me]

Is that even possible?

Of course, [MENTION=9202]Ennui[/MENTION], I agree with that. What? " I think it's important to be proud of yourself - in a humble sort of way. Being arrogantly proud never seems to end well." Well said. Kind of sounds like moderation.

 

[#@&5&49]

I thought I had an opinion on this, but after reading all of the posts I think I need to re-evaluate my perspective and reflect on this for awhile.

 

[PandaBookie]

I believe so because having this "we're not good enough" attitude will destroy ourselves and our self esteem! Anyways, it's totally a lot easier to be you

 

[JGirl]

Should people be proud of who they are inherently?

I always hear that people should be proud and accept all their flaws just because it's all part of what makes them one of a kind.

Or that God intended for them to be that way or whatnot.

Do you think this is a good mindset to have? Why or why not?

yes of course you should be proud of who and what you are. especially if you worked hard to get to where you are in life!
as for flaws, well i'd say acknowledge that you will have certain things about yourself that you absolutely can't change. anything else is up to you.

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

I think "be proud of who you are" is a response to one's low self esteem. Whether people are proud of themselves or not, the shitty people will be shitty, and it doesn't really matter how they justify it. They'll do it anyway. So it doesn't matter if others should be proud of themselves. Concern yourself with your own life.

Being proud is a mentality that enables interpersonal success. If you have flaws you think you should fix, then fix them. You can't be perfect, and you can't please everyone. I think the bottom line for most people, whether they realize it, is surrounding themselves with people who accept them, or putting themselves in an environment where they can flourish. The world is too big for any one person.

 

[Tin Man]

Difficult question to answer. It goes beyond just the idea of pride and into our genetic make-up and neurological responses.

Short answer, yes with an if; long answer, no with a but.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Extremes are seldom virtuous.

Some complacency with self and some questioning seems balanced.


Complacency with self assists in external progress; questioning of self permits internal progress.

 

[Gaze]

I've never believed in self confidence as a goal. But I think it's good to be proud of your accomplishments, but not too proud. Will likely lead to an overhyped sense of self. In other words, I can be proud of what I've done but not be proud of "who" I am because that can change as far as character. I believe I can be proud of the good or great things I do because it's competence demonstrated but I can't be proud of who I am.

 

[Quiet]

There's a difference between love and pride. It's a lot harder to change any flaws you may have (and of course you do, we all do) if you are wallowing in self-hatred and shame.

So you don't necessarily have to be proud of your flaws, but you can treat yourself in a loving manner, if possible, flaws and all. Maybe people say "Be proud of yourself" when they really mean "Love yourself".

Why do this? Because that's how you can improve situations and be honest about yourself to yourself, when you give yourself permission to have flaws. If you're saying "I am either perfect or completely awful" that gives you no leeway. It's all or nothing, which is not constructive.

Semantics, blah blah blah blah yadda yadda.

Everything she said...

Love yourself, accept yourself, respect yourself- regardless of your flaws. Because this will help empower you to be who you actually want to be, rather than getting caught up and stuck in who you dont want to be. Choose actively to create who you are and who you want to be. Take responsibility. Change it if you dont like it, but to change something you have to accept it first.

Pride- i dont really understand pride. I dont think im proud of anything, myself or anyone else or anything. Im not really proud of any of my accomplishments. They are what they are. Im happy if i have done my best and i like the process and the outcome. And the best will probably keep changing. I dont think there is anything wrong with being proud- i just dont understand it myself. Like when people talk about how proud they are of their family or children or heritage or country i find that confusing. Im not proud of my daughter. I love her and i believe in her. I feel the same way about my country.

a better goal for me is being happy and fulfilled with who i am and how im expressing myself etc

I think perhaps some people say they are proud of so called negative traits- being bitchy for example- because they want to justify why they act that way. If they are happy being that way and the outcome of that behaviour than i guess thats great for them and i cant see any problem with it.
Or maybe they are just trying to milk something for all its worth, they really want to experience fully what its like to be a bitch, so they become proud of and really embrace it.

Sometimes i think its because people want to associate themselves with certain qualities to define themselves- this is who i am blah blah- i do this- i was born like this.. This gives them a sense of identity or meaning through association, contrast and separation from others. I find this somewhat annoying, and to be the cause of a lot of racism, other isms and many irritiating traits and attitudes.

 

[YourFavoriteNightmare]

My take is such. You should be proud of who you are. By that I mean you have high self-respect. You should feel attractive, deserving and are assertive (not aggressive nor passive) given that you are healthy and take care of your mind and body. You are uniquely you and you have your own strengths and limitations...It irritates me greatly how some people envy, say physical characteristics, other people have. If it weren't for your own genetic code, whatever traits you have, you wouldn't be alive. Phfft! Okaayy, then. You end up comparing the negative traits of whatever you have to the positive ones of someone else's. This extends to internal emotional/mental/etc-al traits as well. Now, how is that objective and accurate?! This goes with a little something I came up with called the "Variety Principle". How there's variety in the human race, and everyone is just one part, one assembled combination, that's possible. You have your own role in the world, your own place. Find what you love, what you do best and by all means, do it!
However, there's a degree of "normal". They has to be. Yeah, being a little different with having an illness/different way of thought may set you apart but there's still normal. To find that we look at nature and see what works. How society and the individual are healthy and happy, functioning at its best. You can accept your limitations and work to lessen the deficient. But not your flaws. Flaws are flaws. If you cast them off, saying, "Eh, this is who I am. Not going to change one bit." That's not right. If you recognize them, you're already ahead of the game. Work towards correcting them and becoming a better person. Why does that matter? I don't know. You'd be happier? You'd make your loved ones happier? You'd better society? The world? If the grand goal of a better place for everyone, including yourself, isn't a good enough reason...I really don't know what is.

That answer the question? Anyone's input/questioning is valued and considered. This is a personally grounded subject for me so I'm really passionate about it and interested in what other people have to say, too.

 

[Trifoilum]

I think "be proud of who you are" is a response to one's low self esteem. Whether people are proud of themselves or not, the shitty people will be shitty, and it doesn't really matter how they justify it. They'll do it anyway. So it doesn't matter if others should be proud of themselves. Concern yourself with your own life.

Being proud is a mentality that enables interpersonal success. If you have flaws you think you should fix, then fix them. You can't be perfect, and you can't please everyone. I think the bottom line for most people, whether they realize it, is surrounding themselves with people who accept them, or putting themselves in an environment where they can flourish. The world is too big for any one person.

I agreed with all of this-- and I acknowledge the last few sentences is one of my faults.

Sometimes being proud leads to complacency, to stagnancy.
Other times, to arrogance, narcissistic overblown regards to the ego and what we accomplished; something constructed, finite, and somewhat ephemeral.
But other times being proud means self-confidence-- and that can very much be a lifesaver.

I personally think one can be proud and humble at the same time, and my position may be one of them.
Be proud of what we had accomplished, but always try to better ourselves. Believe you'll better yourself.
Be proud of who we are, but acknowledge that we got flaws. That we aren't perfect-- we may not even -better-.
Be proud of our abilities and achievements, but be aware that there are others who are better and worse. Appreciate those who are better than us, be kind and merciful to those who are weaker. Be humble to everyone.

This is pretty much an ideal and God knows my position atm is very much far from this but.

 

[Trifoilum]

And actually, I'd read that in terms of confidence and everything, saying 'be proud of who you are' (no reasons) actually is less effective than saying 'I'm proud of what you've done!' (with reasons)

Being aware of the reasons makes self-confidence much more longlasting and humble.

 

[the]

I have trouble with the notion of being proud because I dont think you should be ashamed per say, but to to be proud of being a drug dealer (if thats who you are), or even to be proud that you are mentally retarded or a quadrapeligic ...I think the pride is misplaced. I just think proud is the wrong word to use. I think the word proud is better used to describe your feelings in regard to your acheivements.

 

[Trifoilum]

I have trouble with the notion of being proud because I dont think you should be ashamed per say, but to to be proud of being a drug dealer (if thats who you are), or even to be proud that you are mentally retarded or a quadrapeligic ...I think the pride is misplaced. I just think proud is the wrong word to use. I think the word proud is better used to describe your feelings in regard to your acheivements.

I get what you mean; although I think one of those (drug dealer) is not like the other because-- like it or not, drug dealer -is- something you'd do, not something you're born with. As much as it is distasteful to be proud of -that-, one can very much be proud of it (think Breaking Bad's Walter White)

But with genetic mental disorders such as autism, or Asperger's, or physical disabilities-- well, semantically feeling proud may simply mean that-- hey, I can do things even with this, you know. In a sense I think that's different from self-confidence? I dunno. :|

 

[subwayrider]

Being proud of who you are is reasonable. You played an active role in shaping the person you are today.

Conversely, being ashamed of who you are is also reasonable. Everyone has flaws -- a person who has done nothing to improve him or herself has nothing to be proud of in that respect.

What doesn't make sense is to be proud of your citizenship, assuming you were born into your country. You have contributed zilch to your citizenship; you have made no choices as to it. It simply is.

Another thing that doesn't make sense is to be proud of your MB type. Arguably, you didn't shape it -- you were handed it. It is reasonable to be proud of how well-honed your functions are, in terms of the skill-sets.

 

[Free Mind]

I'm not sure about being proud of who you are - but accepting your flaws and understanding yourself for who you are and striving to improve yourself seems fine to me. Feels like I would be saying, "I'm proud of having lots wrong with me because it makes me unique!" Which just feels wrong, lol.

 

[Hazard]

I always think it's best to be humble. Whenever we hold pride in our hearts, our ego gets in the way of our interactions with people. Basically sometimes we turn people away that try to hurt us simply because we believe we're better than that. I don't believe this is right and I believe that we should always love unconditionally. Humility and love go hand in hand.

That being said, being humble doesn't mean one should have a low self esteem. It's best to have pride in oneself as a person enough that you believe you're on an equal playing field as everyone else. Pride in who you are and your abilities. Having flaws doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It just means you're human. we should try to perfect our flaws, but that doesn't mean we should look down on ourselves for our flaws.

I believe positive pride and humility to understand that you are equal with everyone else can coexist. Humility to understand you're no better than anyone else, and pride to believe that you're a good human being and don't need to look down on yourself. Btw you're beautiful, niffer.