So theres this girl....

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If you're not attracted to her don't force it, imagine her reaction if she knew this, no one wants to be with someone who is only interested in either their outward appearance or inner personality but not both.

To me it sounds like you really want a relationship and someone who's good friend material has come along. Decide what you want and go after it but if you have to talk yourself into being interested in someone it is wrong, very wrong.

For me attraction is not a choice either but a strong mental attraction will make someone look exceptionally physically attractive to me, if that doesn’t happen then I know it won't work.
 
my POV, not to sound harsh but if you were truly attracted to her, you probably wouldn't have asked...

i know when i find someone, i just go for it... paying no mind to logic, just pure emotion...

but like satya said, it doesn't get easier...
 
I feel so dumb for making this thread. If she asks me out, I will say yes. I think she might be interested, but there is another girl who I might get with. It is either one of these girls or I end up alone, which doesn't mean much because there is always next year. I am drunk right now so it is easy to write stuff. I should write stuff.
 
Lurker said:
If you're not attracted to her don't force it, imagine her reaction if she knew this, no one wants to be with someone who is only interested in either their outward appearance or inner personality but not both.

To me it sounds like you really want a relationship and someone who's good friend material has come along. Decide what you want and go after it but if you have to talk yourself into being interested in someone it is wrong, very wrong.

For me attraction is not a choice either but a strong mental attraction will make someone look exceptionally physically attractive to me, if that doesn’t happen then I know it won't work.
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Agreed.

I have life experience telling a story of relationship growing and blossoming with time and shared life, but at least in my experience, if the spark is missing, it's missing. In retrospect I wish I had been wise enough to recognize that and strong enough to articulate it before years of bonding left scars at the separation points.
 
On one hand I want to tell you what the other forum members have been telling you; it's the personality that counts, catch her now!

On the other hand, attraction is a key component of a relationship, and her physical features are just a part of that as well as her personality. If you honestly find this girl repungent (which is what i'm feeling:m027:) you should not go out with her.

Your rather young, right, maybe your desperate for some intimate action? (Been there)
 
depepnds on ur moral system and wat you need the most at the moment
if she is ur first or ur in the state of someone that will be able to know you, go for the one that is less physically attrative
if you just wana have some fun at the moment, and you both have playful attitude, well you know
and watever happens...
honestly...as an INFJ, true empathy, really is something that i sometime dont dont like... gets in the way of funs, and too much emotions are taken in and supressed.... just cant help it... sometime i wish i can shut it off!

later you can always move to cities where theres more cuties, which you will have higher chance getting cute and nice at the sametime~ :P
 
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I don't think I will get a girlfriend for at least several months.
 
Strangely, I am getting to know this girl more and now not only do I find her extremely attractive, I also really like her as a person. Unfortunately, it will not be a good time to ask her for several months (in less than 2 weeks we leave for the summer).

I am worried that she will not be able to make time for me when I do finally ask her (assuming I do). She does not have time now, and she probably is sick of me bothering her (& doesn't like me). She has no clue that I like her. I think to her I am only a friendly acquaintance maybe a friend. :(
 
If you consider the probable outcomes from action/inaction/holding pattern - it seems the best course to push the envelope and ask her out.

At best you will confirm things.
At worst, you will clarify things and stop wasting emotional energy.
Or she may just want to be friends - which then puts the ball back in your court.
 
See, this is where my 'divining' intuition would lead me along by the scruff of my neck, no matter what. I only extremely rarely question my attractions, which are so few it's devastating in itself, and when I do, I usually dream about it, or feel it in some way that makes it feel like the absolute right thing to do. For that reason, I've pretty much never been very confused.

Can you make use of that part of you? Everyone has it, it's just less accessible in some.
 
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Man, I've got a problem quite like this... Ill probobly make a thread about it at some point but good luck sorthing this out
 
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