Social media, texting and emojis- Unwritten rules of etiquette

There are rules to these things?
And wth I wink at people all the time o.o doesn't mean I want to have sex with em :/

:m063:


TBH I believe it is all up to how a person interprets things ;)
People see and read what they want to believe ^^

+we all know how many people will choose to interpret things wrongly no matter how specifically they're said.


TooShyToSay said:
I would hope that the relatives and friends I have winked at have figured out that I am ignorant. Otherwise, the reunion this year will be especially awkward.
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You and me both :S I ain't gonna stop it though ^^"
People are messed up if they think a wink means that you want sex with them.

Horatio said:
Soooo to anyone I message around here with winky faces, that's more of my way of keeping the conversation... erm, casual and light-hearted?
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Same :X


And to everyone reading this: ;) I ain't changing on this! ; P
 
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ArtFirst said:
There are rules to these things?
And wth I wink at people all the time o.o doesn't mean I want to have sex with em :/

:m063:


TBH I believe it is all up to how a person interprets things ;)
People see and read what they want to believe ^^

+we all know how many people will choose to interpret things wrongly no matter how specifically they're said.




You and me both :S I ain't gonna stop it though ^^"
People are messed up if they think a wink means that you want sex with them.



Same :X


And to everyone reading this: ;) I ain't changing on this! ; P
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This made me laugh! Live the dream, ArtFirst!
 
here's some of the rules that i follow in "texting". (social media/snapchat. can't remember the last time i texted anyone.)

brevity is the soul of the wit. keep it simple.

unless it's an in-joke, don't use an extensive amount of emoji's. the winking smiley -> ;) <- is to be used if you're into the person that you're texting. try to use it regularly to make that clear.

don't double text! make sure that you get everything in your text. the person will eventually respond. if the person doesn't respond, they don't think much of you. when they respond, say what else you wanted if it's still relevant.

don't even think about doing the "hello? did you not get my last message?" passive aggressive "why-aren't-you-responding" messages. you don't know what's going on in the other persons life. cool it.

even if you're at your phone as you're getting the message, don't respond right away. give it at least a few minutes.

only ever call anyone when it's very urgent or someone's injured/dead/dying.

don't text at/during concerts, the cinema, dates, theater, ect. don't be a dick.
 
vandyke said:
even if you're at your phone as you're getting the message, don't respond right away. give it at least a few minutes.
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Why not? :O
Are you playing games with them? Do you want to seem busy or uninterested?

I know it works sometimes, but for everything there's a right time. If someone else is taking hours to answer your texts, don't answer within seconds every time. But other than that I'd say one can answer right away.
Double texting rule seems very irrelevant. It's not like you pay per message.

Do you even do text like this to your best friend or mom?
 
Erlian said:
Why not? :O
Are you playing games with them? Do you want to seem busy or uninterested?

I know it works sometimes, but for everything there's a right time. If someone else is taking hours to answer your texts, don't answer within seconds every time. But other than that I'd say one can answer right away.
Double texting rule seems very irrelevant. It's not like you pay per message.

Do you even do text like this to your best friend or mom?
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to me it's etiquette. the people that i texted would be weirded out if i texted them back right away. or they would think "that guy must have nothing going on in his life". it's a psychological thing, i think. the double texting rule is very essential. double texting makes you come across as manic, way too into you and/or a pest. chill and do everything in one message. also, double texting can make you seem way too available. people might lose interest in talking to you. trust me, say what you need to say in one message. they will respond.

the mom/older generation -- they're old and don't care about this stuff. you can feel free to break all of the rules with them!
 
Unwritten rules give me migraines.
 
A winky face doesn't mean you want to have sex. There's a bunch of people on here, myself included, who send and receive winky faces without that meaning so why would we choose to believe one guy who says that? It can mean that you're joking.

Here's the definition online:

A classic winky emoji; winking and smiling. Used to imply humor in written form, or may alternatively be used suggestively, as a form of flirtation.
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I don't understand why 'ok' would mean that you're angry.

I don't think there's anything wrong with double texts, a series of annoying texts maybe but two shouldn't be a big deal.

Why do people get so uptight?
 
The waiting thing, yeah, sometimes i worry that i might text too fast to certain people, and it may come off as weird, specially the ones i like. It's a nervous thing that i try to control. As for other rules, i don't know/don't care.
Winking usually works that way when put into context, alas the overall nature of your relationship, and the level of interest and chemistry, either if it is one sided, or from both sides. With my ex gf i usually saw a lot of subtext with her messages, that wouldn't even bother to check out with others. Sometimes i send wink to friends as an OK, or lighhearted teasing sort of thing, i usually get it that way too.
Whatever, if he "got" that as a flirtatious thing, maybe there's a part of him that wanted to see it/allowed him to get that "something" the wrong way as you mentioned he said. I'm not implying that he likes you, you would know better, or maybe it was just an attempt to lightheartedly flirt that came the wrong way. And that's because his explanation of "text rules" struck me as a last resource from an awkward and potentially embarassing situation. Or at least It seems like a posibility to me. Maybe you thought about it already, i'm just rambling here anyway.
 
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TooShyToSay said:
Well, that was interesting. That explains a lot from the younger set. Here is what I think of those rules:

This behavior is so off-putting in its dishonesty. I truly don't have the time or frankly the desire to be that fake. If I get a message and my phone is in my hand, I will answer. If I don't like someone that much, I will tell him to his face, not ignore him because it is cowardly. If someone doesn't ever want to receive a phone call from me unless someone is dying, that person is not worth my time because he is too immature and I wouldn't call him even if someone was dying. If this is how most people think, I find that thoroughly depressing.
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i don't see it as a phoniness at all, it's more like a new kind of language. when you're having these long and often complex conversations far away from each other, you have to have a way of conveying feelings and the sub-text that face-to-face conversation has. the rules (which i didn't make) are there to set some ground-rules for that type of conversation. if you call someone just to talk, they're not going to hang up on you, they'll probably just think that it's a little off-putting. everyone i know hates talking on the phone because texting is just so much easier and convenient.

i don't know if everyone use the rules that i use, it's just what i've picked up over the years from text conversations with the people close to me. note that i didn't even address you calling me immature and depressing.
 
vandyke said:
i don't know if everyone use the rules that i use, it's just what i've picked up over the years from text conversations with the people close to me. note that i didn't even address you calling me immature and depressing.
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I was talking about the behavior, not you personally.
 
TooShyToSay said:
Very insightful! He did have a crush on me years ago but he got over it and we became friends; also he recently got married, so it didn't occur to me that he might have an ulterior motive. He said he wanted to save me from embarrassment. If anything, I was fine before and now I am hypersensitive to every text. I feel like I ate from the Tree of Knowledge.
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I don't want to put the motives of a married man into question anyway. Sometimes i can get kind of flirty as sort of a "play" thing, and maybe a silly attempt to stir things up in my interactions with female friends to make it more fun there's nothing serious behind these attempts, (also i'm a 20 year old bachelor so fuck it, i don't like it, but i'm free). Some get it that way, some don't, and with the ones who don't it can be very embarassing, and a good way to fix it it's invent a silly explanation to save me from any kind of misunderstanding, secretly implying to keep it cool, light and smooth.
 
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SealHammer said:
tell your friend he's a dumb sperger and that he should be looking at texting from a voice perspective and not a 'universal etiquette rules heh heh' perspective

wait maybe it's me. maybe i'm the dumb sperger. am i the only one who texts like i talk?
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I'm actually a dumb sperger irl and I type a text message the same way I would communicate with the person. There's nothing more to it than this is what I want to tell you. Not really worth reading in to it. Because that's just how I communicate with people.
 
But yeah I feel the same as [MENTION=1360]TheDaringHatTrick[/MENTION] about texting. I say what I mean and I tell people that in event we start texting... When they read too far in to what I say I get anxious and stop responding to texts. I dunno. I don't feel like hinting or playing mind games with texts. It is a tool, not a passageway to my bed.
 
Imma bout to start spamming winks out of spite now.
 
TooShyToSay said:
Well, that was interesting. That explains a lot from the younger set. Here is what I think of those rules:

This behavior is so off-putting in its dishonesty. I truly don't have the time or frankly the desire to be that fake. If I get a message and my phone is in my hand, I will answer. If I don't like someone that much, I will tell him to his face, not ignore him because it is cowardly. If someone doesn't ever want to receive a phone call from me unless someone is dying, that person is not worth my time because he is too immature and I wouldn't call him even if someone was dying. If this is how most people think, I find that thoroughly depressing.
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I completely agree with you. It's a kind of unattractive game-playing tactic. I text people whenever my phone is in my hand. All my exes and I double-triple texted ad infinitum.

If I don't like someone, I might tell him to his face if I thought the friendship was worth saving, but if I don't answer/fade it's because the person just doesn't deserve my attention and/or I think they are being disrespectful or generally just manipulative.

But I admit that sometimes, I just turn my notifications off for text when I am working on something as I don't like to be interrupted. Also I don't like the text receiving sound as I feel it conditions me to react in a Skinnerian Behaviourism fashion. One of my exes used to start arguments with me in text, and occasionally I'll still feel that pounding sensation in my heart when I hear a text alert, so sometimes I just turn off the alerts.
 
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