Some things I can't deal with.

IndigoSensor said:
Yes, and when it applies to you, it is SO annoying once you figure it out >_<
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YEA haha and you will be like oooh how could I oversee it. It was soo obvious -.-'

darkstar said:
UH HUH! And you are then also "Ahead of your time" or "Too mature for your age" So again, you get left behind.

Then once people finally catch up to you, you have moved on.
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Haha for sure, both of these sort of go together some bizzare way. I am familiar with both and they are so frustrating haha
-.-'
 
darkstar said:
Thanks.

nail + hit on the head = true;

Yep. All of a sudden, they just cut me out. And I don't just mean ignoring me, I mean also saying "leave me alone" when I tried talking to them to "this "friendship" isn't going to work".
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How horribly hurtful and baffling for you. While I'm not offering any excuses for their behavior, do you know if either or both were depressed? In depression people--even those without bipolar disorder--tend to isolate. Any signs of mania, which can cause impulsivity and something called "irritable mood"--always hard on relationships.

I'd like to add that you shouldn't tar us all with the same brush. Just as INFJs--or any other type, for that matter--share similar traits but sre still unique individuals who can have great differences, so it is with people who have bipolar disorder.
 
darkstar said:
Yeah, lost a love interest and one of my best friends (two different people) last week.

(No wonder why I'm having dreams where my teeth fall out, as they are interpreted as meaning loss.)
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I used to have dreams where either my teeth fell out, or I took them out myself - turns out I was grinding my teeth at night, very much stress related. Might want to consider a mouth guard or something. :wink:

EDIT: Not trying to be unempathetic, but I was just around people I have to usually switch my emotions off while around. That didn't really come out right, but I'll hope you understand.
 
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anica said:
How horribly hurtful and baffling for you. While I'm not offering any excuses for their behavior, do you know if either or both were depressed? In depression people--even those without bipolar disorder--tend to isolate. Any signs of mania, which can cause impulsivity and something called "irritable mood"--always hard on relationships.

I'd like to add that you shouldn't tar us all with the same brush. Just as INFJs--or any other type, for that matter--share similar traits but sre still unique individuals who can have great differences, so it is with people who have bipolar disorder.
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Yeah. You're right, but now I'm afraid of ever getting attached to these types again. When you say "Us" do you mean that you also have bi-polar?

If so is it normal for a bi-polar to simply and explicitly end a friendship? I get the depression thing where they would isolate, and I get that, but can't they just say they need some time alone? I know that they were both depressed, the guy more steadily depressed and the girl more highs and lows. But then again, I get depressed often, I may have dysthymia (not diagnosed or anything) and I isolate sometimes.
 
darkstar said:
Yeah. You're right, but now I'm afraid of ever getting attached to these types again. When you say "Us" do you mean that you also have bi-polar?

If so is it normal for a bi-polar to simply and explicitly end a friendship? I get the depression thing where they would isolate, and I get that, but can't they just say they need some time alone? I know that they were both depressed, the guy more steadily depressed and the girl more highs and lows. But then again, I get depressed often, I may have dysthymia (not diagnosed or anything) and I isolate sometimes.
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I can understand your fear, given two such heavy blows so close together, but I hope you keep an open mind.

Yes, I have bipolar disorder, type I and no, I don't normally inexplicably end friendships. I do, however, "disappear" from time to time if I'm really stressed or I feel something is toxic to me (though sometimes later I realize the "toxicity" was a delusion and will make amends for my behavior). I also tend to make myself scarce during mood episodes in an attempt not to damage relationships I value. And, finally, there are times I don't have the energy to get out of bed, much less sustain a relationship--something you would probably understand with dysthymia.
 
anica said:
I can understand your fear, given two such heavy blows so close together, but I hope you keep an open mind.

Yes, I have bipolar disorder, type I and no, I don't normally inexplicably end friendships. I do, however, "disappear" from time to time if I'm really stressed or I feel something is toxic to me (though sometimes later I realize the "toxicity" was a delusion and will make amends for my behavior). I also tend to make myself scarce during mood episodes in an attempt not to damage relationships I value. And, finally, there are times I don't have the energy to get out of bed, much less sustain a relationship--something you would probably understand with dysthymia.
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Yeah, I definitely understand that. What I don't like is when people blame the way they are currently treating people on bi-polar, like a crutch. I guess I do the same when it comes to disappearing though.

I think I will be fine after a while, once I adjust to how everything turned and is turning out.
 
darkstar said:
Yeah, I definitely understand that. What I don't like is when people blame the way they are currently treating people on bi-polar, like a crutch. I guess I do the same when it comes to disappearing though.

I think I will be fine after a while, once I adjust to how everything turned and is turning out.
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While having bipolar doesn't relieve one of responsibility for their actions toward others, it does have a significant impact, and it is rooted neurobiology, a physiological condition, not unlike a malfunctioning pancreas which can no longer regulate blood sugar. And, just like everyone, we suffer the consequences of our actions, whatever their root cause. For example, one of my old law school buddies insisted on giving me a birthday party--and further insisted it had to be on my birthday itself. Now, I was on medication, but was coming down from a breakthrough mania and was experiencing terrible irritable mood. I tried to explain it to her, asked if we could postpone the party until I was feeling better, but she was insistent and like a fool, I finally agreed. My had choices in the matter but failed to exercise them: I could've been either remained firm about postponing the party, which would've hurt her feelings, or to kept my teeth firmly embedded in my tongue once I got there. I did neither and was a total bitch after she'd gone to a lot of trouble to prepare a lovely brunch, none of which I would touch. The price I paid was the loss of that friendship, one I valued.
 
Omg that must be tornmenting. Does it not make you feel like you are trapped inside your body in that case. Because you still have to face the consequences of action and may regret it, then knowing it is not 'your' fault but rather your brain's must be horrendous :/

I'm sorry this is the case, I wish you would get better.
Either way I think you should consider that the 'physiological' perspective is the COLDEST one, which implies that nothing can be done - but medication. Whereas the learning and cognitive take the emotional human into consideration as well. The medication that you take for bipolar, is assumed to work on receptors that cause bipolar - no biological tests has been carried out that confirm bipolar disorder.

Although I have heard that we can control our neurotransmitters by certain methods, because every thought or stimuli changes their release.
 
Pristinegirl said:
Omg that must be tornmenting. Does it not make you feel like you are trapped inside your body in that case. Because you still have to face the consequences of action and may regret it, then knowing it is not 'your' fault but rather your brain's must be horrendous :/

I'm sorry this is the case, I wish you would get better.
Either way I think you should consider that the 'physiological' perspective is the COLDEST one, which implies that nothing can be done - but medication. Whereas the learning and cognitive take the emotional human into consideration as well. The medication that you take for bipolar, is assumed to work on receptors that cause bipolar - no biological tests has been carried out that confirm bipolar disorder.

Although I have heard that we can control our neurotransmitters by certain methods, because every thought or stimuli changes their release.
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While I still sometimes feel trapped by this disorder, the longer I've lived with it and the more I've dealt with it, the better I'm able to cope with the distortions of reality that each state brings and all three have their own form of distortion: mania, depression, even remission. In addition, though I rely heavily on medication to control symptoms, I also have some control over the length and severity of episodes by lifestyle changes I've made. For example, I try to keep to a routine, avoid certain stressors whenever possible, get sufficient sleep and exercise (the most difficult because of my physical disability). I also use distraction when I notice I'm getting obssessed with something and can sometimes stop myself from getting so tightly wound it triggers a mood episode.

A diagnosis of bipolar is based on self-reporting, true, but recently brain scans are being used to try to isolate the differences in the brains of people with the condition so there may soon be some biological confirmation of the diagnosis. For an interesting, though long, article on this and bipolar I in general, see http://www.patientcenters.com/bipolar/news/causes.html. I gives a good overview of what goes on in the brain of people with bipolar I specifically and why sometimes my attempts at lifestyle changes don't work.

Some of the best advice I've ever received on coping with this condition came from my therapist, who said that because I'm a rapid cycler prone to mixed mood, I would have few days that are symptom-free. Therefore, she said, I should pick my priorities carefully and do the things that are most important to me despite symptoms. This works for me for the most part and makes my life less limited by the parts of the illness I can't control.
 
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anica said:
While I still sometimes feel trapped by this disorder, the longer I've lived with it and the more I've dealt with it, the better I'm able to cope with the distortions of reality that each state brings and all three have their own form of distortion: mania, depression and remission as well. In addition, though I rely heavily on medication to control symptoms, I also have some control over the length and severity of episodes by lifestyle changes I've made. For example, I try to keep to a routine, avoid certain stressors whenever possible, get sufficient sleep and exercise (the most difficult because of my physical disability). I also use distraction when I notice I'm getting obssessed with something and can sometimes stop myself from getting so tightly wound it triggers a mood episode.

A diagnosis of bipolar is based on self-reporting, true, but recently brain scans are being used to try to isolate the differences in the brains of people with the condition so there may soon be some biological confirmation of the diagnosis. For an interesting, though long, article on this and bipolar I in general, see http://www.patientcenters.com/bipolar/news/causes.html. I gives a good overview of what goes on in the brain of people with bipolar I specifically and why sometimes my attempts at lifestyle changes don't work.
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I see :) Glad that you are able to cope, and keep it up. Furthermore are there not positive sides to having a manic episode that you can enjoy (as long as there are no delusions)?

Because I had a manic episode once, I'm not saying it is the same, but I became very sufficient and super motivated and euphoric and quick. Also like you said it is easy to obsess about something to be exactly right and if it is not, the result is aggitation.
Moreover, the interesting part was that I knew that I was not behaving normally, so I had the awareness and therefore I was indeed trapped in my body, which was surprising to the medical ones. They even thought I was unique, or maybe the case, as I was the one who suggested that I thought I had a manic episode haha.
 
Unfortunately, during manias I often get paranoid delusions, but during hypomanias--mild manias--I am as you describe and can get a great deal accomplished and feel great. If I could remain in a state of hypomania, I would.

As you pointed out, I'm often aware of the onset of a mood episode and I don't feel like my "normal" self, whatever that is. For example, at the beginning of a mania or hypomania, I become very goal-oriented and feel compelled to accomplish things quickly. The onset of depression usually begins with emotional "flatness," sometimes accompanied by olafactory hallucinations, not unlike people with seizure disorders experience just before a seizure.

The brain is still such a mystery to us all and treatment of mental illness is, I think, still in the dark ages.
 
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anica said:
Unfortunately, during manias I often get paranoid delusions, but during hypomanias--mild manias--I am as you describe and can get a great deal accomplished and feel great. If I could remain in a state of hypomania, I would.

As you pointed out, I'm often aware of the onset of a mood episode and I don't feel like my "normal" self, whatever that is. For example, at the beginning of a mania or hypomania, I become very goal-oriented and feel compelled to accomplish things quickly. The onset of depression usually begins with emotional "flatness," sometimes accompanied by olafactory hallucinations, not unlike people with seizure disorders experience just before a seizure.

The brain is still such a mystery to us all and treatment of mental illness is, I think, still in the dark ages.
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Oh yes, I see what you mean. It lasted for about 3 days and I was never tired, after sleeping like 2 hours, every morning I woke up with a headache. Furthermore after that, I turned completely 'flattened', I was numb although everything and nothing would make me cry and this lasted way longer than the 3 happy days. I would say I was very vulnerble. Keep in mind that his was an episode and does not mean that I am mannic-depressive.

Although something similar happeed once again as I was walking home from school. I was really quick, sort of breathing heavily, aggresively also, I felt that the cars were out to kill me, like the lights in the front were eyes. Everywhere there where eyes...
It was hell, and I had worms crawling inside my head, and I looked like a snake when I came home and saw myself in the mirror. My eyes were so dilated and looked so evil and like before I could sense that I was not 'myself'. I wanted to scream, to tell those who had made me into a demon, stop. It went overboard and I was home alone because my mother was in USA.

Honestly I would love to be 'hypomanic' as well but naturally with a high comes a low, which is why it is better to try to remain in balance. I admire your strength.
 
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I certainly agree in general about this. I hate conflict, like other INFjs, and if I sense something wrong about another person it bugs me like heck. I want resolution! Conflict resolution or whatnot!!! :D <---I think this is both for my concern for that other person and my general dislike for feeling this type of discomfort.

But when it comes for my own person "secrets" or sensitivities, i'm also reluctant to share. I'm a pretty open person, but there will always be a part of me that remains unshared because I just can't bring myself to talk about it. Not that it refers to any scarred part of me, but that I feel that part is too sensitive.
 
I hate passive aggressiveness and unforgiveness. but honestly i dont mind refusal to work on problems. I mean it depends on the problem. I have slight issues on dealing with "feelings" and issues regarding such-when it comes to mine... (yes i know that is unhealthy)
Its just an uncomfortable topic that i wish i can avoid ;)... Though with an INFJ as my only friend... I have no choice but to face them at one time or another (unless she realises my uncomfort with said situation)

I cant deal with ignorance, closed-mindedness and pure stupidity (not to be mean XD)
 
I need to talk about things with a loved one or close friend. I will not be able to change if I did do something wrong,if they do not talk to me about it.

I have been accused of being anal about it,but I just can't internally rest until it is resolved.
 
Yes, it does take two.
It is very, very important to grow together. It is quite possible for one person to be growing exponentially while the other seems to fall behind. Trying to keep the other with you, or trying to keep up can be extremely difficult on both parties.
 
darkstar said:
Passive aggressiveness, unforgiveness, and refusal to work on problems.
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Capital!

I completely agree with you, have you been reading my diary?

What I hate most of all is people who are being passive aggressive, or aggressive aggressive and then try to deny it.
 
So, one of the friends, (the guy) is back and acting like nothing happened. Maybe I did overreact, but "leave me alone" with no response to "are you joking?" sounded pretty real to me.

*sighs* people.

The worst part about all this is that I will probably never trust him the same again, nor value such a friendship as much.

Am I just being a <insert explicative here>?:m075:
 
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