Some things I can't deal with.

[Milon]

I hated doing this, but I created categories or labels for people. I used to view all people equally, but then I trusted them all equally. It's easy, seemingly, for some to abuse trust. Now I "rank" people by the amount I feel I can trust them with. There's no formalized system for it, but I'm very aware of how much I can trust someone.

An experience like yours, Darkstar, would cause me to move this person down the list a lot while trying to retain friendship. I'd just be careful about what I entrusted to him, and be selective about what I took to heart. And it sounds like you've already done that, so I'm on board with you!

Not much of a "friendship" when you do that, though. Like I said, I hated it, but it was a needed survival skill.

 

[alcyone]

I do the same thing milon, so your not alone is using a trust based ranking system for the people in your life.

 

[darkstar]

Same, I tend to do the same thing, just when people finally slip in and then break the trust, it really hurts.

I guess I just need to tune up my radar.

 

[Milon]

I thought my radar was pretty awesome... until I met a really charismatic guy. Trusted him right away. Big mistake. He tried to steal my friend's client-base from her business. Never saw it coming. Now charisma just instantly makes me suspicious. Sad.

I think it raises red flags because I haven't yet learned to "see through" the charisma shell. All the other highly charismatic people I've met I could trust nearly absolutely. Hence there was no need to "see through" them before.

 

[bs98r3kjf]

I hated doing this, but I created categories or labels for people. I used to view all people equally, but then I trusted them all equally. It's easy, seemingly, for some to abuse trust. Now I "rank" people by the amount I feel I can trust them with. There's no formalized system for it, but I'm very aware of how much I can trust someone.

An experience like yours, Darkstar, would cause me to move this person down the list a lot while trying to retain friendship. I'd just be careful about what I entrusted to him, and be selective about what I took to heart. And it sounds like you've already done that, so I'm on board with you!

Not much of a "friendship" when you do that, though. Like I said, I hated it, but it was a needed survival skill.

I can totally relate...I do the same thing now.