Sorting INFJ from INTJ

[Angelbabe2000]

update

Here is my most recent update on my sweet INTJ.

Told him I was wanting to write him a mushy poem and that i was resisting the urge.

He commended me for my resistance and asked that I keep it up. He added that he would not be likely to read any mushy poetry and if he did, he'd probably correct and send it back to me!
[eeekkk!]

so I said, I knew better than to send him mushy poems! it was enough that I got him to possibly think about the contents of the mushy poem I would write.

I dont think he understood this. His reply? "*snicker* ok angelbabe, whatever floats your boat."

Reading your advice again. It strengthens me.
I know he likes me. Tells me in a round-about way. Saw his INTJ percentage scoring: 80% Thinking. 20% Feeling.
Hey, I can work with that!

 

[Flamethrower]

Here is my most recent update on my sweet INTJ.

Told him I was wanting to write him a mushy poem and that i was resisting the urge.

He commended me for my resistance and asked that I keep it up. He added that he would not be likely to read any mushy poetry and if he did, he'd probably correct and send it back to me!
[eeekkk!]

so I said, I knew better than to send him mushy poems! it was enough that I got him to possibly think about the contents of the mushy poem I would write.

I dont think he understood this. His reply? "*snicker* ok angelbabe, whatever floats your boat."

Reading your advice again. It strengthens me.
I know he likes me. Tells me in a round-about way. Saw his INTJ percentage scoring: 80% Thinking. 20% Feeling.
Hey, I can work with that!

Nice to hear your update! My first reaction to that was "hell that's a bit harsh he is so blunt about your mushy poem idea" but then I remembered that when I first met my partner he wrote me mushy poems and I sort of reacted the same way. I was really unsure about it and a bit squeamish because I feel a bit silly about that sort of thing (bit weird for a girl huh?). I was really blunt about it too and said something similar and pointed out that I didn't really like fluffy romantic stuff. It sort of made me want to be more distant from him. :smow:Same for mushy love letters from him too. He wrote me some seriously sentimental letters that almost make me quit the whole relationship. But he wasn't really put off so we ended up together eventually! (And now we just ignore each other ha ha!)

See what I mean by hard to get to know? But one thing I said that he never really took on board was that I REALLY like deep intellectual poetry and stuff like Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet so if he had turned up with something really deep and meaningful I would have been impressed. Intelligence is something I am really attracted to and I think many INTJs are like this. Since INFJs are smart and articulate I think you could probably write something that would change his mind!

 

[Eric86]

Well how do you discuss feelings, anyway? They don't make much sense. Why do people bring up feelings in the first place unless they are trying to explain a particular problem that has a very obvious solution?

I'd say that the majority of time when people won't discuss something they say is illogical, it is because it is illogical.

I'm actually quite good at logically understanding feelings in a very concise manner. I do this quite a bit with the people that I help out, taking whatever it is that they're having a problem with or whatever that they're confused about and going backwards through their thought processes because, for whatever reason, I'm able to understand pretty much everything about how they think and feel, and go step by step backwards to the root of the problem. It's not like, some hierarchical thing (like a family tree chart) or whatever, but more...nebulous I guess, with things at multiple levels that either affect everything else or only certain things or on certain levels/in certain situations/mindsets....(confusing as hell to really 'get' with my regular thinking!...and yet I still get it lol) And at the end...they always agree with me 100% (though I always tell them to correct me if I'm wrong). It gets kinda scary sometimes, lol. So yeah, I'd say it's quite possible to fit feelings into a system of logic, though honestly....it's largely very intuitive for me, and I really can't explain it; so much about how I think would be just plain impossible to get across to anyone else, as it's more like a huge hurricane of seemingly random thoughts that randomly form connections with each other that are anything but sequential, and I see all of it and none of it at the same time (maybe...somewhat like a meditative state? I dunno.). I think my empathy helps a lot with it as well, since many times I'm able to feel exactly what the other person is feeling before I actually know they feel that way, or even that they feel that way at all. I personally believe that anything that's illogical can be made logical through intuitive/non-[traditionally]linear processes. And personally, I've had to bite the bullet and just not go against my intuition, because every time I do, I get screwed over, sometimes pretty badly, and I would much rather avoid the hurt that that causes and all of the time and effort I waste as a result of it that I could be spending so much more usefully trying to improve myself and helping others as well.

bleh, I'm rambling...shutting up now!!:lol:

 

[himynameisdead]

The reason for that, I would assume, isn't because they don't understand how they affected you; it's that they don't understand how to solve the problem. I may not be an INTJ but my mode of thinking when someone brings up a problem is: how do I solve this? When someone brings up feelings as a problem I feel inclined to state: They are your feelings, control them. I know that it may sound harsh, but how am I supposed to fix someone else's feelings when I have no control over them? The best I can do is to ask what actions of my has caused those feelings and to avoid them, or to state that they need to figure out a way to make themselves feel differently when these actions occur because I am not responsible for their emotional wellbeing. Which response I use depends on the situation.

You must be a dom. thinker. You sound just like my isTp friend, but the lack of understand for other peoples' thought process is.. Yeah, definitely a strong thinker. People don't always want what they seem to be asking for. Being infj with introverted thinking as strong as my extraverted feeling.. I can tell you a difference between iNfj and iNtj is that iNtj's tend to use graphs and things to symbolize their conceptual understanding(because of Te auxiliary), while iNfjs.. try to phrase things in a way that would be understood by the specific individual they are addressing(because of Fe auciliary. If my friend didn't understand the lesson I was trying to teach, I would consider what they had been through and adapt the way I communicate my understanding accordingly. If you saw somebody didn't understand something, understood that they reject conventional logic because they have such a big ego they'd react defensively and reject the argument totally, if your true goal is to be understood, you adjust your strategy. I doubt iNtjs are as adaptable, because I think the willingness to change your method of explaining is a Fe related thing, maybe. Also, my Te sucks! That's the only reason I came to the conclusion that I'm iNfj and not iNtj, because my intuition score has always been 90~100% on every test I've taken, and I'm very strongly introverted. Plus I see more Ni in me than Ne.

I found a good summary from another thread of what iNfjs do, and what I was trying to describe.

>>http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-private-forum/27324-working-infj-function-yo-yo.html

>When INJs develop Extraverted Judgment and train it on themselves, [*5*] they begin to see life differently. They recognize their need to be understood, to make genuine connection with others, to be a contributing part of something outside themselves. This recognition short circuits the INJ�s focus on conceptual boundaries. Such types try to reach people instead, to formulate their ideas in light of what others believe and think and cherish. In the process, they find a way to bring their insights into the larger community.
>INJs don�t find it easy to make this effort. But developing secondary skills is always difficult; it forces compromises we don�t want to make. For INTJs, saying things in a way that people can support and accept feels like selling out or watering down something important. [*2*] For INFJs, it feels like being inauthentic and hypocritical. Extreme types may even believe they still need to figure out who they are and shouldn�t be influenced by others� expectations.

(and that would be the development of Fe)

 

[Saru Inc]

INTJ seem more logical than INFJ.

Durrr, really.


Sorry, sorry. I'll stop.


TO be honest, I can't give a serious answer. Many INFJs can be really frank and to the point. I think I'd have to say... INFJs are simply more open than intjs.