Soulmates

periodictoblerone said:
@Ren it may be sad because compsognathuses are not as popular as, as example, tyrannosaur or pterodactyl :( and it's height is the same as height of a chicken, so that's may be a bit embarrasing for compsognathuses to know that they're... not as big as their relatives
but! they're still great predators and can kick someone's ass if they need to haha!
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Don't worry, we're only pretending to like tyrannosaurs because we don't want to make the tyrans sore. They'd kill us!
 
Pin said:
Who's to say that when there is little difference between the lowest and best quality of life, that the society that follows won't give rise to a mass of Donald Drumpf's?
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The Law of Hedonic Asymmetry
There are certain awful circumstances to which we can never become accustomed. If things are bad enough, it is impossible to escape negative feelings like fear or anxiety. On the other hand positive emotions always fade over time. No matter how much we are in love, how big the lottery win, or how copious the quantities of drugs consumed, positive emotions like pleasure always slip away.

https://www.spring.org.uk/2008/12/12-laws-of-emotions.php
 
The word soulmates once meant in my questionable consciousness a person who was so in tune with you, deeply caring, and "intuitively" loving. In other words, a self-centered ideal. Because it was so unreal, I don't think I really thought about how the other person feels or how I would be a soulmate for them. It was how they would match me. I had no understanding of real relationships to know how this would actually work long term. In any case, I do not believe in the concept of soulmates anymore. Unfortunately, my views were too easily, ridiculously, and simply based on movies and fairy tales, and rarely considered how real human beings actually think, feel, and behave when they are not locked in a bubble. I was once a huge romantic but the concept is totally elusive and illusive to me at this point. I do think love is real, but I have no connection to the concept anymore. I am not looking for anyone to prove it really does nor am I waiting to find someone who will suddenly make me believe ( I did that for a long time). I couldn't take myself seriously if I kept believing in it. If you do believe in the concept, be cautious and wary of others who seem to be. Anything can be mistaken for supposedly "real" connections or love. Before I begin to be too much of a killjoy, I'll exit :)
 
Wyote said:
The Law of Hedonic Asymmetry
There are certain awful circumstances to which we can never become accustomed. If things are bad enough, it is impossible to escape negative feelings like fear or anxiety. On the other hand positive emotions always fade over time. No matter how much we are in love, how big the lottery win, or how copious the quantities of drugs consumed, positive emotions like pleasure always slip away.

https://www.spring.org.uk/2008/12/12-laws-of-emotions.php
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Were it the other way around, we'd see a totally different species.
 
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James said:
You can tell from some of those guys, they really believe young women have "fallen for their power and charisma". That's how vain and egotistical they are.

"There's no fool, like an old fool" as they say. That's what I find funny.
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Wouldn't you be floored if these pairings were stable relationships?
 
James said:
I don't regard them as relationships, more like "transactions". ;)
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I wouldn't want to label every may-december relationship questionable because I've heard of great love stories with significant age differences. And in the end who is not going to be flattered by ideal of a much younger or older person they find attractive showing interest especially if they're financially wealthy or stable? I think the problem is pretending a relationship may be equal or balanced on all sides when it may not be just because others things such as sexual chemistry are equal.
 
Gaze said:
I wouldn't want to label every may-december relationship questionable because I've heard of great love stories with significant age differences. And in the end who is not going to be flattered by ideal of a much younger or older person they find attractive showing interest especially if they're financially wealthy or stable? I think the problem is pretending a relationship may be equal or balanced on all sides when it may not be just because others things such as sexual chemistry are equal.
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Take for example Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. They are 25 years apart, to the day. She was almost half his age when they got married in 2000. And I have never heard of any public scandals. Of course it's no indicator for them being happy, but on the other hand, who are we to assume that they aren't?
 
@Ginny @Gaze

Sorry of course that's true about May/Dec. Its not the age gap, as much as the circumstances. What I meant was the "rich older guy" who has left his wife and found "new love" with a much younger woman.

Who bizarrely, often looks like his wife did 30 years ago. I just can't respect that kind of person, they think everything can be bought. I don't judge the women. But I can't consider that "soul mates".
 
James said:
@Ginny @Gaze

Sorry of course that's true about May/Dec. Its not the age gap, as much as the circumstances. What I meant was the "rich older guy" who has left his wife and found "new love" with a much younger woman.

Who bizarrely, often looks like his wife did 30 years ago. I just can't respect that kind of person, they think everything can be bought. I don't judge the women. But I can't consider that "soul mates".
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I concur. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones are one of the few couples I actually hope they stick, they seem very genuine together.

However, men like Donald Trump is a whole new story. The guy just switches back and forth with different women as if they were skittles.
 
Hmmm. I used to believe pretty strongly in having a soulmate. Then, I met a guy who I thought was my soulmate. I could talk to him for days. But, our relationship was short-lived.

It’s weird, but since meeting him I haven’t felt like looking for a soulmate anymore. Maybe because he is it, or because I no longer believe in the idea. I don’t really know which it is. I think part of me is satisfied that I’ve met someone who could make me feel the way I did, like he was my soulmate. Who knows. These may all be romantic notions of mine and I have no way of knowing if he felt the same.
 
James said:
@Ginny @Gaze

Sorry of course that's true about May/Dec. Its not the age gap, as much as the circumstances. What I meant was the "rich older guy" who has left his wife and found "new love" with a much younger woman.

Who bizarrely, often looks like his wife did 30 years ago. I just can't respect that kind of person, they think everything can be bought. I don't judge the women. But I can't consider that "soul mates".
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I wonder about some of these relationships, especially a case where the older partner can't seem to have a relationship with anyone their age. Their partner must be younger or they don't feel as if they can enjoy their life or relationship. It goes back to the underlying ageist assumption that youth or younger is always better. Others say, "I'm a young soul so I need someone younger". But this makes it seem as if anyone in the same age group is automatically not as fun as someone younger. I guess at the end of the day, each person decides for themselves who fits.

On the other hand, I think sometimes, people can rule someone out too quickly because they think they are "too" young or "old" however they define these terms. It's pretty relative at this point unless you're under 18 dating someone much younger or older. When I was a teen, I remember thinking wow, look at that younger/older relationship. He or she must be so "mature". :D I had no clue. So easy to idealize those relationships and seem them as exotic or unique rather than normal, realistic, or practical. I think it's also because some of those in these relationships had an air of privilege or mystery where they made their relationship sound so special and different from everyone else's, and no one could ever really understand them. I bought into so much nonsense when I was young. Wow. :D

Unfortunately, some of these relationships became abusive because of the unequal dynamic and the power differentials between the couple. Some were controlling, etc. So, not as ideal.

But thinking of all this gave me something to think about for soulmates. Although I don't believe in it anymore, I think that a case could be made to become truly mated souls if you put the work in. In other words, this would be based not on some instant, perfect, twin connection, but two people who survived a lot in a relationship, and worked through a lot of mountains and valleys, suffered injuries and relapses, and renewed assent to get to a point where they are mated in life, body, and spirit.
 
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I never thought when I was younger that soulmates were real or there was any one person for anyone but I do believe that now. I do think that if we aren't with them now, that we will work at a way to be with them, and keep working to find them in all our lifetimes.
 
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