Stealing girlfriend/boyfriend

I require defined boundaries, so one of the first things I ask is if someone is seeing a man or not. If she is seeing someone then I leave it be until she redefines the boundary (i.e. ends the relationship). That's also assuming I'm still interested on that level and am not involved in something with another woman.
 
uberrogo said:
Well yes, but technically that is called being a home wrecker.
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I have two problems with your answer. A home wrecker is defined as a woman who steaks another woman's husband. This situation involved two people who were dating and a third party that the man opted to leave his current girlfriend in favor of. Home wrecker implies that the other woman is entirely at fault. The greater wrong is done by the husband/boyfriend who is dishonoring his partner and his agreement to be exclusive with her.
 
Hmmmmmm, nope. But not because I think it's "wrong" (I wouldn't call it "stealing" either), just seems frivolous to me. That said, I am a hypocrite.
 
NYLilac said:
I have two problems with your answer. A home wrecker is defined as a woman who steaks another woman's husband. This situation involved two people who were dating and a third party that the man opted to leave his current girlfriend in favor of. Home wrecker implies that the other woman is entirely at fault. The greater wrong is done by the husband/boyfriend who is dishonoring his partner and his agreement to be exclusive with her.
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Thank you! The husband should be loyal to his wife. Being married with kids is completely different from dating.
 
NYLilac said:
I have two problems with your answer. A home wrecker is defined as a woman who steaks another woman's husband. This situation involved two people who were dating and a third party that the man opted to leave his current girlfriend in favor of. Home wrecker implies that the other woman is entirely at fault. The greater wrong is done by the husband/boyfriend who is dishonoring his partner and his agreement to be exclusive with her.
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I have 0 problems with my answer. Also this isnt Romania and no women are steaking any other woman's husbands. :p
 
I agree with the people who say that a boyfriend or girlfriend can't really be "stolen"...

However, with that said...

I've been the "victim" of this sort of thing. Obviously enough, it sucks really bad.

I wouldn't do this to someone, and I especially wouldn't get with someone who was involved with a friend of mine. I wouldn't even get with a friends ex. I can understand the whole "well sometimes you just love who you love" thing, but for me, I just can't and I can't really see how other people can live with themselves when they do it if it's obvious their friend isn't really okay with things being as they are. I guess if everyone is cool with it, then I wouldn't be judging anyone. People should do what makes them happy, but IMO the bond of friendship is sacred and you don't fuck with that shit. I can't even manifest any sort of attraction for a person once I found out they were involved with a friend.

And I agree again in the case of home wreckers, the husband or wife who is doing the cheating or allowing themselves to get emotionally entangled with someone else is really who is to blame, though the "other woman/man" isn't innocent either if they know the other persons relationship situation. Still, in the end the person who made the commitment should be the one saying "no get the hell away, I'm taken/married/whatever".

I'm fine with the fact that people have differing views on the morality in these situations, but mine are pretty set. I wouldn't want to be involved in a relationship with someone who thought different, or the possibility would always linger in the back of my mind. For that matter I wouldn't want to have close friends who thought much different, especially after experiencing this first hand. I simply wouldn't trust them otherwise.
 
People aren't property.

Although, at a recent job training I heard about Ruby Payne's Social Class rules..
According to her, poor people regard people as property, middle class people regard things as property, and the rich regard their pedigrees and legacies as their properties.
Here is an interesting blog on the subject.

Anyways, excuse the Ne tangent..

I stop liking someone romantically the instant I find out they are with someone else. They just become uninteresting to me in that way.
 
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I can imagine myself wanting to steal someone to be spiteful rather than out of love/attraction, during a bout of blind rage. It's just one means I could come up with to destroy them for revenge, but I would probably think of better alternatives. I can't imagine myself being able to sustain anger for long enough to follow through with it though, realistically. Aside from it being immoral in itself, and horrible if it was true love that I was trying to destroy, I would also feel bad for anyone innocent in the situation. Even if I did sustain the anger and wanted to harm them, I would probably find a way to do it that would not involve myself so directly, i.e. I would set it up so that someone else would steal their person and screw with their heads (*conniving*).

In terms of actually gaining love for myself, I would not be hesitant to flirt with someone that I was already in love with who was in a relationship, if I knew that their relationship was hurting them and if I really believed that they would be happier and have a better future with me. I would never meddle in a relationship where two people were in love.
 
If someone was willing to entertain my theoretical advances while they were still in a relationship, I would consider them a morally questionable character whom I would therefore not want to date anyway.

In the past I have been tempted to solicit the affection of someone who was already spoken for. This was not out of interest, but rather malice, much like what [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION] has mentioned. I refrained from acting on this consideration, however.
 
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