Teenage Dating and the influence of Gender

Tamagochi said:
I believe that 9 out of 10 women would refuse, while 9 out of 10 men would accept (I remember seeing somewhere an actual statistical survey carried on that and the results were similar). Even Solstice would probably accept. And it's very hard to even imagine an attractive girl walking up to the guy and offering free sex, then afterwards just leaving. Why do you think there is such a difference in attitude? Is it because men are hornier or smarter?
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I'd like to see those statistics. It makes sense that there are men who would say "yes", and more often than a woman would, but 9 out of 10 does not seem plausible to me. I'd guess the numbers who would claim to are higher than the numbers that actually would. Maybe it's because I've been around more intellectuals, but those kinds of numbers are unlike anything I have ever seen come close to reflecting reality. I'm basing this on the thousands of interactions I've seen or been involved with. I get that there ar subcultures of men where these kinds of statistics might prove more likely, but for the whole of them? I'm more than just a little unconvinced.

I will confess to a little personal bias, but if that kind of thing is true, then my lifetime experiences represent an amazing statistical anomaly.

As far as question of hornier or smarter, the reason I don't have sex with strangers is because I have no way to measure if they are trustworthy. In general people do not demonstrate behavior worthy of trust. They demonstrate exploitative and often cruel behavior. Satisfying sexual desire does not require a stranger. To associate sex drive with willingness to have sex with strangers makes no sense to me. If a stranger offered me a thousand dollars to go be in a room alone with him, I wouldn't accept that either. I don't give money to strangers, tell them my personal things, get naked in front of them, let them get on top of me. The reason is I'm clever enough to consider this just might be a bad idea.
 
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Julia said:
I will confess to a little personal bias, but if that kind of thing is true, then my lifetime experiences represent an amazing statistical anomaly.
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h-e-l-l-o... there's a multi billion $$$ prostitution industry out there thriving, where men pay to get just that. Factory workers use it, white-collars use it, intellectuals, company presidents use it and so on.

I believe this survey was carried out among several hundred US college students, so the deviation between genders is at it's max. When age progresses the number of men accepting the offer would most probably drop, while number of women increase.
 
I suppose so. I don't see how that effects their ability to answer the question objectively and discuss it from a non-personal point of view, based on how the rest of society is rather than the small cluster of INFJs that count for barely anything when talking about society on a full scale.
 
slant said:
I suppose so. I don't see how that effects their ability to answer the question objectively and discuss it from a non-personal point of view, based on how the rest of society is rather than the small cluster of INFJs that count for barely anything when talking about society on a full scale.
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This...
 
alt ctrl del said:
What's to pity? Love, it's all just body chemistry, anyway.
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What are humans? just a bunch of neurons and other cells working together. :)
just because its chemistry doesn’t make it any less real or important.

and on topic,
I think it has to do with biology, evolution, culture and the things you learn when you grow up. that’s all I think.
 
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alt ctrl del using sarcasm? Impossible...
 
Doesn't translate well over t'internets.
So I might stop.

Anyway, White wolf is right.
That cute puppy in WW's avatar is giving me a guilt trip for being a sarcastic jerk.
 
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Tamagochi said:
I disagree that girls simply "do not understand" any of this. The true reasons of such behaviour must be deeper. To illustrate, answer this question: if an attractive stranger of the opposite sex walks up to you and offers to have free sex right away with no emotional strings attached - would you accept the offer?

I believe that 9 out of 10 women would refuse, while 9 out of 10 men would accept (I remember seeing somewhere an actual statistical survey carried on that and the results were similar). Even Solstice would probably accept. And it's very hard to even imagine an attractive girl walking up to the guy and offering free sex, then afterwards just leaving. Why do you think there is such a difference in attitude? Is it because men are hornier or smarter?
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9 out of 10 isn't everyone. Maybe I've been "tainted" being raised a Catholic, but I wouldn't accept. To me there's no point in doing it without truly loving the other person and them loving you back. I wish people didn't assume that about me just because I am male. You know how INFJs can get when people assume things about them...:m080:
I never really knew why I was different, but I guess I just am. I used to blame it on being an INFJ, but sometimes I feel alienated even on this forum.
 
Here is an article pertaining directly to this topic.

Intercourse and Intelligence

Some highlighted quotes from the article. Notice that the statistics between the genders are not significantly different except that higher intelligence in males corresponds more strongly to delayed sexual activity than for women and average intelligence in males corresponds to more sexual activity than their female counterparts. The effect of intelligence is greater on males overall. There is no dramatic distinction between overall levels of sexual activity between the genders.

Depending on the specific age and gender, an adolescent with an IQ of 100 was 1.5 to 5 times more likely to have had intercourse than a teen with a score of 120 or 130. Each additional point of IQ increased the odds of virginity by 2.7% for males and 1.7% for females. But higher IQ had a similar relationship across the entire range of romantic/sexual interactions, decreasing the odds that teens had ever kissed or even held hands with a member of the opposite sex at each age.

While these authors leave off at grade 12th, it would seem plausible to expect that this relationship extends beyond high school. To explore this, plenty of interesting facts come from a 2001 campus sex survey by the joint MIT/Wellesley college magazine Counterpoint (PDF). Looking within and between colleges, IQ appears to delay sexual activity on into young adulthood.

By the age of 19, 80% of US males and 75% of women have lost their virginity, and 87% of college students have had sex. But this number appears to be much lower at elite (i.e. more intelligent) colleges. According to the article, only 56% of Princeton undergraduates have had intercourse. At Harvard 59% of the undergraduates are non-virgins, and at MIT, only a slight majority, 51%, have had intercourse. Further, only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex.
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The following chart refers to the percentages of virgins based on college major at Weselley. Notice that some of the majors that top the chart for high percentage of virgins are also male dominated majors like mathematics.

virginity-rates-by-college-major-632-1237300549-2.jpg






Tamagochi said:
I believe that 9 out of 10 women would refuse, while 9 out of 10 men would accept (I remember seeing somewhere an actual statistical survey carried on that and the results were similar).
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Your source for these statistics is important for verification. It is important to note that "would" does not have the same meaning as "has". I'm not entirely sure what it proves for people to say they would do something.
 
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slant said:
But it's a primary factor.
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For me, its secondary, perhaps tertiary, unless you want to get all Freudian on me.

I'd argue that the reason people behave the way they do is because society, especially the media, conditions them to be that way (such as guys seeking sex without regard for anything else). Their motive, of course, is actually to feel effective more so than it is to have sex for the sake of having sex. Ever heard a bunch of guys talk about the girls they sleep with? No, because you're a girl, no offense. Some guys will lie about having slept with someone because having slept with someone is a sign of efficacy, for whatever stupid reason (I blame the media). We could certainly structure things differently, but the current structure is so effective for business that to fight it would be almost entirely futile politically, especially because people are mistaken into believing that it is "human nature" or something like that when really things are the way they are because we made them that way.

I actually think that sex is, in itself, unimportant compared to the need to feel effective. In our society, for men to have frivolous sex is to supposedly be effective while for women to keep letting these horrible guys sleep with them is to feel effective. This is incredibly powerful. Because of the way things are, many people have their efficacy tied to their sexual performance. I suppose it is natural to want to have sex, but things have been blown greatly out of proportion by the media.
 
In the few relationships I've been in, I've tended to see emotion as being the most important part of the relationship and sex as the second most important. I tend to value the feeling behind it more than the sex, which I guess is why I tend to get used.
 
INFJs, Listen the hell up.

You're ignoring a very crucial factor. You're INFJs. You're only 1% of the population. We're talking sociology here, not 100% of the population, but social trends.
 
In that case, it seems to me that most teenagers in general are driven by hormones which govern how they act towards others. This might just be me being a pessimist, however.


Edit: I'm not actually a pessimist in general, just pessimistic about the prospect and stability of teenage relationships :-p
 
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