Lol. It's the very thing which makes us a "melting pot" that antagonizes us all. Being in America is both a blessing and a curse that way. You'd think that with so many cultures around here we'd find it easier to get along.
Nope! Nope, nope, nope.
I think the bigger issue (and the one with the most consequences to both parties) is: How can we accept those differences in one another and yet still enjoy one another's company? No one should have to "erase" who they are to be accepted by another culture, but on the other hand if your culture stops you from accepting and recognizing another culture, then that's an extreme form of nationalism that needs to stop. There's a balance but I don't think a lot of people know how to strike it. To obtain that balance, you also have to know just enough about the other cultures so you don't accidentally insult them.[/QUOTE
I've read this whole thread and hesitated to jump in, but now that we're talking about culture and appearance and behaviors, throwing ableism into the discussion doesn't seem as off topic as I thought (though I kept seeing parallels in the race discussion), Like Blacks, theose of us with disabilities--especially of the visible nature--are in a one-down position in America. While African-Americans were having to ride in the back of the bus, those of us with mobility impairments couldn't even get on the bus anywhere in the country until 1982 and then it was only ion selected routes in Denver CO. The Civil Rights Act was signed into law in 1964; the American with Disabilities Act, giving us recourse to the courts wasn't made law until 1991. I'm not saying we have/had it worse than racial minorities--it's like comparing apples to oranges--but there is still a great deal of fear of our differences and resentment over the rights we have acquired in some quarters. and I think many of us, particularly those who are or have been activists in the disability-rights movement, view the able-bodied world with some suspicion.
Okay, given all that as a background, how do I feel about "mixed" relationships? I have known several mixed couples (one with a disability, the other able-bodied) and few worked out in the long term. I do know of one couple who have been married for years and seem to be in it for the long haul, but they are the exception, not the rule. Most of my AB friends disappeared shortly after I became disabled; two stuck around for a year or so but dropped out of my life on one pretext or another. It wasn't until I discovered the disability community that I began to have a social life again. Over the years I've come to know and like some able-bodied people (usually people who grew up with a disable family member), but my closest ties are within the community and I've never dated or had any kind of romantic/sexual relationship with an AB. I feel there's an unbridgeable gap between AB and PWD (person with a disability) that would preclude true intimacy.
Reading this thread has made me re-examine those assumptions. All of the years of fighting for access--in the workplace, at the polls ("To boldly go where everyone else has been before," as it were) has been about joining the mainstream. Still, it's hard when people in stores or on buses or on the street look at me with pity, discomfort or resentment.
This is something of a ramble and I'm not sure it belongs in this thread, but I think it does.
