The Difference Between INFJ and INTJ

Von Hase said:
Why would we diminish something that is true, good, bad, or otherwise? Our lack of humble is balanced by our lack of shame. We have no trouble admitting when we are awesome and when we suck.
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Ah ha! well no wonder...
 
Beebe's archtypes do a great job of explaining some of the reasons why people of the same mbti type seem entirely different. It also helps identify changes in behavior based on circumstance.
 
Julia said:
I don't personally relate to Vicky Jo at all. It's difficult to imagine we have the same personality type. I'm more in my head and analytical, and then when emotional or social I'm sillier, but still in a quiet private way.

I've wondered if I'm INTJ, but people typically think I'm not because I am too invested in how people feel. I can't say myself. As a child I started organizing my blocks before I could talk which might be a Te thing. When I was 13 I had trouble finding friends because I mostly wanted to talk about astronomy. I knew quite a bit about Mars for a kid, knew all the geography of the moon, and the basic layout of the known universe. That's what I wanted to think and talk about rather than social things or make-up.

When I see the dichotomy between "efficient planning" vs. "connections with people", I have to admit that one of my areas of focus involves "efficiently connecting to other people". Ha. I value interaction and growth, but like to keep it simple and productive when a connection is made. I wondered if there was an INFJ parallel to INTJ efficient systems with my drive for the least resistance in human relationships. I think using empathy, fully understanding others, picking my battles, choosing expressions of warmth that simplify things reducing tensions, are all ways to increase emotional and relational "efficiency" of sorts. In posts I tend to relate to INFJ and INTJ thinking about equally - at least with posters in my general age range.
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Julia,

My intuition, which is pretty well-developed says that you are an INTJ. It's your talking style and the organization. Anyway, it's intuition-based.

-Em.
 
imo INTJs are more difficult to console than INFJs, because their standards are very high -- and they easily see what other people are doing wrong, even if they don't always express it. INFJs are more live and let live... (am I wrong?)

also, it's very hard to make an INTJ cry. that's been my experience, they are usually very confident and stoic. An INTJ crying is a horrible sight, because you know they've reached their absolute breaking point to allow themselves to give in to tears (esp. in public).
 
May said:
imo INTJs are more difficult to console than INFJs, because their standards are very high -- and they easily see what other people are doing wrong, even if they don't always express it. INFJs are more live and let live... (am I wrong?)

also, it's very hard to make an INTJ cry. that's been my experience, they are usually very confident and stoic. An INTJ crying is a horrible sight, because you know they've reached their absolute breaking point to allow themselves to give in to tears (esp. in public).
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I'd generally say that's true.
 
May said:
imo INTJs are more difficult to console than INFJs, because their standards are very high -- and they easily see what other people are doing wrong, even if they don't always express it. INFJs are more live and let live... (am I wrong?)

also, it's very hard to make an INTJ cry. that's been my experience, they are usually very confident and stoic. An INTJ crying is a horrible sight, because you know they've reached their absolute breaking point to allow themselves to give in to tears (esp. in public).
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I think that's true as well.

I had a female INTJ in my office one week, and I had to give her bad news about her GPA. She thought she'd planned it perfectly and when I told her that duplicating a course three times would actually hurt her GPA, you could see that breaking point happening. She began tearing up and I offered her a box of tissues, but they she yelled, "I don't WANT a box of tissues!" and threw the box at me. ROFL!!

I gave her a few minutes to calm down (she had to do some deep breathing exercises) but I knew she was more angry with herself and the situation. She even tried saying, "well, what if I don't turn in the transcripts"? (illegal, besides, I already knew about it).

She was a thundercloud when she left my office, but she also internalized every bit of that emotion as much as she could. But man, girlfriend was NOT a happy camper.

That was one crazy, insanely angry INTJ.
 
May said:
imo INTJs are more difficult to console than INFJs, because their standards are very high -- and they easily see what other people are doing wrong, even if they don't always express it. INFJs are more live and let live... (am I wrong?)

also, it's very hard to make an INTJ cry. that's been my experience, they are usually very confident and stoic. An INTJ crying is a horrible sight, because you know they've reached their absolute breaking point to allow themselves to give in to tears (esp. in public).
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We have a winner!!!

Was worked up for a week last semester and this semester my advisor said,"it's nice to see you're doing alright. a couple weeks last semester you definitely had me worried." Oh what a shit storm my mind was...
 
Must confess I didnt watch the vid.
I have a good friend who is INTJ. Better info.
 
I think May's distinctions are good ones. If I see my wife cry I know we have reached rock bottom.

edit: I think my initial judgements here were too harsh:

In my experience, INTJs need more cues to understand things from someone else's perspective. Sometimes I have to walk my wife through why our kids would be feeling the way they are. But on the other hand, my INTJ wife seems to have a knack for planning and organizing when trouble is brewing as well as to celebrate. I like to do this as well, but not nearly to the extent she does. I think you just have to stand next to an INTJ for a while to see how much further they can take this.
 
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That's interesting- I am an INFJ but overtime I have become more introverted and I test as more of a borderline F/T. I think that presenting myself as an INTJ is more of a defense mechanism for me (?), though there are certain situations where I favor logic over feeling. This doesn't happen very often though and sometimes I appreciate logic because of its philosophical meaning... is this something anyone else does?
 
Ecton said:
I think May's distinctions are good ones. If I see my wife cry I know we have reached rock bottom.

edit: I think my initial judgements here were too harsh:

In my experience, INTJs need more cues to understand things from someone else's perspective. Sometimes I have to walk my wife through why our kids would be feeling the way they are. But on the other hand, my INTJ wife seems to have a knack for planning and organizing when trouble is brewing as well as to celebrate. I like to do this as well, but not nearly to the extent she does. I think you just have to stand next to an INTJ for a while to see how much further they can take this.
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Hmm, I tend to see two distinctions between INTJs, all of it revolving around emotion. I think that most INTJs might actually be ENTJs for the simple reason that most INTJs generally prefer to use Te to the point that Ni almost seems to take a backstep of sorts. I also think many INTJs type as INFJs simply because they are 'emotional.' The only way I can describe it clearly is by using the big five name for it, outside of the 4 'values' you have that correspond roughly with the MBTI system, you also have the "limbic" value which basically discerns how emotional you are.

Idunno, I think most 'true' INTJs don't need more cues from people to understand why a person is feeling the way they do; they just might not care, but they should understand.
 
veritas said:
That's interesting- I am an INFJ but overtime I have become more introverted and I test as more of a borderline F/T. I think that presenting myself as an INTJ is more of a defense mechanism for me (?), though there are certain situations where I favor logic over feeling. This doesn't happen very often though and sometimes I appreciate logic because of its philosophical meaning... is this something anyone else does?
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exactly, im with you on this Veritas.
 
Julia said:
I don't personally relate to Vicky Jo at all. It's difficult to imagine we have the same personality type. I'm more in my head and analytical, and then when emotional or social I'm sillier, but still in a quiet private way.

I've wondered if I'm INTJ, but people typically think I'm not because I am too invested in how people feel. I can't say myself. As a child I started organizing my blocks before I could talk which might be a Te thing. When I was 13 I had trouble finding friends because I mostly wanted to talk about astronomy. I knew quite a bit about Mars for a kid, knew all the geography of the moon, and the basic layout of the known universe. That's what I wanted to think and talk about rather than social things or make-up.

When I see the dichotomy between "efficient planning" vs. "connections with people", I have to admit that one of my areas of focus involves "efficiently connecting to other people". Ha. I value interaction and growth, but like to keep it simple and productive when a connection is made. I wondered if there was an INFJ parallel to INTJ efficient systems with my drive for the least resistance in human relationships. I think using empathy, fully understanding others, picking my battles, choosing expressions of warmth that simplify things reducing tensions, are all ways to increase emotional and relational "efficiency" of sorts. In posts I tend to relate to INFJ and INTJ thinking about equally - at least with posters in my general age range.
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Sounds like you got yourself a sweet working Ti.


I'm glad you are not like Vickey Jo, that woman gives me the creeps, with her fake cobra lady smile...
 
Adymus said:
Sounds like you got yourself a sweet working Ti.


I'm glad you are not like Vickey Jo, that woman gives me the creeps, with her fake cobra lady smile...
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ha, though her info is helpful, i think she is very different than most INFJs. at least, i think that's what my Ni/Fi tells me :D
 
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