[MENTION=14664]dang[/MENTION] - I think you are a bit of a rogue, which I kinda like. Also I think like a typical INFJ you have a great deal of depth to your character.
I have thought about a lot of these things. I think I strive for a rational explanation of things, but I have gradually come to a view that the 'world' might not be a rational place. Once you begin a study of mathematics and science some fairly mind-boggling things begin to emerge, that often make religious views seem more credible. For me, I think it is about expanding our minds and connecting with each other. I don't think we can come to these answers alone.
I'm going to share one thing that happened to me, that I tried to ignore for many years. A few days after my father died ( I was 17) I went with my mother to see his remains laid out. For me it was a empty shell, they made his deceased remains look presentable but having touched him (he was of course stone cold) I knew at once what was in front of me was not my father. A few days later I went to visit a friend, and I only walked down the road a short way when I saw an older man walking like they were trying to stay inconspicuous. He glanced up and I recognized my fathers face. It happened very fast, he immediately looked down and walked away.
For a few seconds I was shocked. Then I walked after him very quickly (I still don't understand why I didn't just run). Even though I walked as fast as I could, I was practically jogging, I could not catch up to him. After a few minutes I finally did sort of get ahead and when I looked around it was a totally different man. I read up on it afterwards, and it's quite a well known psychological thing, and that's what the rational part of my mind wants to accept.
The problem for me though is, the experience felt so real, even down to the way the man walked and looked up, the body language was completely that of my father. I'm quite sure if there is an 'afterlife' we are not meant to come back and see people, but it would have been absolutely typical of my father to ignore the rules and do his own thing. He always did his whole life, not in a wild way, just true to himself. Have you ever played chess with an INTJ ? They are very very good, but I've found they tend to stick to a rational plan, I'm not sure they believe it when they play an INFJ who can read them (probably much better than the board) and beat them. It almost feels like cheating, but they seem to be bound by the rational strategy and limited by it.
I don't think I've managed to explain a single thing I meant to say, but for me life often feels like a long bout of Deja Vu. A weird almost surreal feeling that I'm watching a repeat.