The INFj: Genius or Giftedness . . .

I never said it did not exist, I said complete individuality (absolute individuality) is probably a lie.

Even under your perspective/interpretation of my comment/opinion, something would still exist. Something does not have to be absolutely unique to be of existence or of value.

My comment was never meant to question, attack, or offend. I assumed your reference to individuality was a comment on my use of the term. I study communication so I'm very interested in the definitions of these terms.

And I think I have a different understanding of the word "individuality" than you do. So, apparently, you cleared it up.
 
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*Flips bird at that stupid institution.*

By institution I mean the IQ test, its purpose has been corrupted enough lets just admit it is not a measure of intelligence.
:m104:
 
*Flips bird at that stupid institution.*

By institution I mean the IQ test, its purpose has been corrupted enough lets just admit it is not a measure of intelligence.
:m104:

I agree to an extent. Not that it's not legitimate, but it's too often used to elevate some and demean others just based on having or not having particular reasoning capabilities.
 
I agree to an extent. Not that it's not legitimate, but it's too often used to elevate some and demean others just based on having or not having particular reasoning capabilities.

I think it proves only one thing, that the people who take them are really good at taking IQ tests.

Would someone please show me the statistical data proving that people with high IQ's are more intelligent then other people?

Every time I ask people say that there is... but neglect to point out what that is.

Makes me think that there isn't any, and further that the only reason people believe that is that it has been so ingrained in modern mythology.

:m058:
 
This is something I think about often. Like most INFJs I have always felt different and have often found it difficult to relate to others or at least for them to be able to relate to me. I scored in the 97% intelligence range during a week long period at a testing center. As they explained it to me it became more obvious the way I think and perceive things actually is different from the majority of those I meet. This often makes things more difficult rather than it being a positive quirk when relating to the world around me.

I am constantly problem-solving and analyzing information from my surroundings. My thought process could be illustrated like a spiderweb of information forever being processed. I can visualize many different outcomes at once. This is beneficial for me in the work environment as I am an excellent problem-solver, but at times I am easily overstimulated and need to draw back. With people I am extremely intuitive. I can see the best and worst in people as well as patterns in behavior, body language and thought processes very quickly (this may be because I am an INFJ). I am happy that my close friends value my advice because they recognize how intuitive I am with them as well as others. I can often describe a situation in great detail without given much information. I think this is because I am good at observing patterns. Unfortunately my insight has made some uncomfortable (someone once called me a mindreader, but it's just observation) so I usually keep it to myself unless my input is requested. I am always critical of myself and challenging my perception of things. Although I may apparently be very smart I value and am very curious about how others think and feel (again probably the INFJ part of me). I will always listen and do my best to help others who genuinely want help.


I do not like to admit that I'm a "genius" because I do not feel like one. I don't feel particularly gifted because this is how I've always been. I do recognize sometimes that other people cannot see the solutions as easily as I can, but I am happy to explain and would rather help others than look down on them. When my IQ is brought up in conversation I am embarrassed and avoid the topic. I don't want others to treat me differently or think I'm "special" so I'd rather not tell them. I am most definitely an introvert and just want to be equal with everyone.
 
I empathize completely with the experience you described. When I find something that doesn't quite fit or make sense I try to correct it or find a better solution. This has been frustrating when those in authority do not see it the same way I do. I have found better ways of doing things in the work environment that at first were dismissed by my superiors because they could not understand it. Instead of living in a constant state of frustration I have learned to be quiet about it, unless someone asks my input. lol
 
Very confusing, when I scientifically do not test high on IQ tests (dyslexia and math difficulties worsen my fluid intelligence and sequential memory), yet I can recall the majority of what I read, was explaining complex psychology issues and theories when I saw my first psychotherapist (this was before I started reading PhD or masters level psychology without ever being taught via courses), have the capacity to read more than 40-60 books in less than a year when many cannot focus so easily, can naturally focus for long periods, can conceptualise certain complex human ideas with up to 10 perspectives at once and have a way of problem solving from multiple fields of interest (same thing with my associative thinking style).

... Hence the confusion when many have expressed a sense of depth, complexity and intensity not found in many people (Well I am autistic too by coincidence) yet I do not test well but end up finding it 'easy' (in theory rather than hubris conveyed) to seem like the smartest person in a crowd or certain rooms.

Not sure what else to add without seeming like I am bragging or playing the superiority complex card (as some might say, well have felt in the ever present Tall Poppy Syndrome which I only overcome 4 years ago as a late intellectual bloomer) ...feel free to ask me anything you wish.
 
Very confusing, when I scientifically do not test high on IQ tests (dyslexia and math difficulties worsen my fluid intelligence and sequential memory), yet I can recall the majority of what I read, was explaining complex psychology issues and theories when I saw my first psychotherapist (this was before I started reading PhD or masters level psychology without ever being taught via courses), have the capacity to read more than 40-60 books in less than a year when many cannot focus so easily, can naturally focus for long periods, can conceptualise certain complex human ideas with up to 10 perspectives at once and have a way of problem solving from multiple fields of interest (same thing with my associative thinking style).

... Hence the confusion when many have expressed a sense of depth, complexity and intensity not found in many people (Well I am autistic too by coincidence) yet I do not test well but end up finding it 'easy' (in theory rather than hubris conveyed) to seem like the smartest person in a crowd or certain rooms.

Not sure what else to add without seeming like I am bragging or playing the superiority complex card (as some might say, well have felt in the ever present Tall Poppy Syndrome which I only overcome 4 years ago as a late intellectual bloomer) ...feel free to ask me anything you wish.

It depends on what the test expects vs. how your mind conceives it.

Personally for example, since musically I'm mostly self taught, if I had to take some kind of written exam about playing from a music teacher, or write a paper about beat slicing for an audio engineer, I'd probably fail that but if they see me play or listen to a beat I've sliced they would then know that I know what I'm doing.
 
Remember that thread: Giftedness never translating into social attractiveness?
Anyhow, a very similar subject, but in the thread I got a response with a very cool pamphlet that was put out by the Swiss Association for Gifted Children.GIFTED CHILDREN:FROM MYTH TO REALITY The myth: a young genius, with an encyclopedic knowledge of everything, studious, quickwitted, always ready to show off at school...
The reality is in fact a terrible misunderstanding: children with an IQ above average(between 100 and 125/130) are active, attractive, with good verbal abilities. They learn toread and write easily around the age of 7 and are sometimes even often deemed “gifted” bytheir teachers while they are just good students, dedicated and sociable. Often, one assumesthat intellectual efficiency automatically leads to good academic results.
In fact, the gifted child (IQ between 125/130 and 160) is often a difficult child who hasfaced integration problems at school very early in life.
At school, she usually tries to avoid being noticed for fear of being perceived as too bright.Aware of being different, she tries to hide it by sometimes making mistakes on purpose.
She does not like to learn anything by heart, and lacks method or organizational skills,however, she can talk forever about subjects she is passionate about and often changes herfocus of interest. Her motor skills are usually not in line with her intellectual development;calligraphy is a problem, so are sportive or manual activities. Her school results are far fromsatisfactory. Her school reports say “could do better”.
Her teachers might consider her lazy, agitated, disturbing or a “daydreamer”.





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The child often finds it difficult to live with this difference, even more so when it is ignored,denied or rejected.
When the child’s gift is recognized, some teachers tend to say that the child does not needextra help since she is so bright, or, that “since she is so bright, she should adapt to the levelof the others”.
However, this is like asking a child with a normal level of intelligence to spend all her schoolyears in a class for intellectually challenged children and to adapt to their level.
Only clear and detailed information can rectify this misunderstanding.
It is horrible for a child to be considered to be what she is not, to not be recognized forwhat she is. Therefore, after you finish reading the following and if you have some suspicionsabout a child, we highly recommend you meet with the parents and suggest they consult anexperienced educational psychologist for psychological tests.
The earlier a gifted child is identified, recognized and accepted by her parents, teachers andfriends, the more she will bloom, be comfortable with who she is and with the way the othersperceive her, and the more likely she will be to lead a happy life both socially, emotionally andin her academic or professional pursuits.




Anyhow, I found this to be a very interesting booklet...there is more after what I copied and pasted above if you go here: http://www.asep-suisse.org/joomla/index.php?option=com_docman&task=doc_download&gid=47&ItemId=83
There used to be a page with it up, but now you have to download the PDF.
I can relate to a lot of the information in the booklet from my own childhood and educational experiences and I wish this existed for my teachers at the time.
They had such a hard time with me as a child that I was sent to UCLA to be evaluated and low and behold I was smarter than your average bear by a good stretch.
It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to do the work...I was just ready to move on to the next thing after learning it...I didn’t need the repetition and to practice like most of the kids did. When I would get a sheet of 20 math problems I would do the first 5 and be done...in my mind I had proven that I understood it (they were all right) and that should be enough...the repetition drove me nuts. I still to this day have difficulty learning by repetition...if I am paying attention to something then it sticks.
 
My IQ is in the genius range, but I don't consider myself one. To me a genius is Issac Newton or Leonardo Da Vinci, a person with extraordinary insight and vision. Someone who sees something in the world that no one else does.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to do the work...I was just ready to move on to the next thing after learning it...I didn’t need the repetition and to practice like most of the kids did. When I would get a sheet of 20 math problems I would do the first 5 and be done...in my mind I had proven that I understood it (they were all right) and that should be enough...the repetition drove me nuts. I still to this day have difficulty learning by repetition...if I am paying attention to something then it sticks.

This. I'm currently studying cloud management and virtualization and the amount of repetition exhausts me. I'm a very quick leaner and so I understand what we're being taught immediately. The lecturer repeats the same lesson again and again and I eventually doze off, only to realise that we've gone onto something new and I've missed most of it. I wish I could just get the material and study alone, but attendance is a large part of the grade.
 
My IQ is in the genius range, but I don't consider myself one. To me a genius is Issac Newton or Leonardo Da Vinci, a person with extraordinary insight and vision. Someone who sees something in the world that no one else does.



This. I'm currently studying cloud management and virtualization and the amount of repetition exhausts me. I'm a very quick leaner and so I understand what we're being taught immediately. The lecturer repeats the same lesson again and again and I eventually doze off, only to realise that we've gone onto something new and I've missed most of it. I wish I could just get the material and study alone, but attendance is a large part of the grade.
Seriously,
I feel you...lol.
When I was studying anatomy & physiology, psychology, pharmacology, surgical technique, etc...I never took notes in class, nor did I study for tests...I read the required material, and near the end of the course people in class began to notice that I never had notes out, took notes, etc. They would ask me how I did it and I didn’t have a good answer for them other than I just paid attention...granted it was something that interested me...had it been the opposite it would have been much more difficult for me to do that. I always got A’s on all the tests much to the frustration of the my classmates....lol. They would often ask me to go to study group with them, and I did a few times acting more as a tutor than a study-mate.
On a side note,
something that I have found interesting over the years was upon getting tested at UCLA by some child psychologist for IQ and learning disabilities (of which I had none) in the fourth grade, he tested me for ESP...with the standard ESP testing cards...you know, a star, three wavy lines, etc. Anyhow, I got something like 85% correct...he did the test twice actually, still the same. Just curious have you or anyone else reading this who is in the high IQ percentile range experienced any sort of ESP type thoughts or feelings that you would consider more than a coincidence?
 
I think my abilities and potential are great, and i try to put them to good use for the greater good of mankind as i see it. I also use my abilities to make people laugh (sense of humor combined with high social sensitivity and intellect)..

I try to spread useful knowledge around, and help people out in hard decisions in life.

I also play music and make people feel relief and joy.

Edit: Sorry for being four years late, i was a bit busy lately.
 
Seriously,
I feel you...lol.
When I was studying anatomy & physiology, psychology, pharmacology, surgical technique, etc...I never took notes in class, nor did I study for tests...I read the required material, and near the end of the course people in class began to notice that I never had notes out, took notes, etc. They would ask me how I did it and I didn’t have a good answer for them other than I just paid attention...granted it was something that interested me...had it been the opposite it would have been much more difficult for me to do that. I always got A’s on all the tests much to the frustration of the my classmates....lol. They would often ask me to go to study group with them, and I did a few times acting more as a tutor than a study-mate.
On a side note,
something that I have found interesting over the years was upon getting tested at UCLA by some child psychologist for IQ and learning disabilities (of which I had none) in the fourth grade, he tested me for ESP...with the standard ESP testing cards...you know, a star, three wavy lines, etc. Anyhow, I got something like 85% correct...he did the test twice actually, still the same. Just curious have you or anyone else reading this who is in the high IQ percentile range experienced any sort of ESP type thoughts or feelings that you would consider more than a coincidence?

Pretty interesting that you mention ESP. There is a man named Russell Targ who I've been fascinated by. I've been listening to his interviews but he's a physicist (pretty sure he's an INFJ too) who has recently published a book called "The Reality of ESP: A Physicist's Proof of Psychic Abilities." He had done work with the CIA in the past and enlisted the help of remote viewers to locate lost hostages, peek inside Soviet weapon installations and etc. I've been consumed by this subject as of late, once I know more I'll tell you about it. But I've always felt that I've had a "sixth sense" or a "third eye" so to speak, but I don't see "auras" or anything like that.

In regards to INFJ and "giftedness"

I've noticed a correlation but I think introverted intuitives are more likely to be considered gifted since they spend more time with their thoughts and extroverts spend more time with people.
 
Pretty interesting that you mention ESP. There is a man named Russell Targ who I've been fascinated by. I've been listening to his interviews but he's a physicist (pretty sure he's an INFJ too) who has recently published a book called "The Reality of ESP: A Physicist's Proof of Psychic Abilities." He had done work with the CIA in the past and enlisted the help of remote viewers to locate lost hostages, peek inside Soviet weapon installations and etc. I've been consumed by this subject as of late, once I know more I'll tell you about it. But I've always felt that I've had a "sixth sense" or a "third eye" so to speak, but I don't see "auras" or anything like that.

In regards to INFJ and "giftedness"

I've noticed a correlation but I think introverted intuitives are more likely to be considered gifted since they spend more time with their thoughts and extroverts spend more time with people.
I’ll have to find the book...very interesting!
I enjoyed the movie “Men who stare at goats” although the movie isn’t for everyone...it’s a bit bizarre, but it delves into the so-called “Psychic Army” that our military was funding in the late 60’s early 70’s...and I think all the way up until the 80’s...I can’t remember, it’s been a few years since I have watched it...anyhow, it has a great cast.
As far as a “sixth sense”, it’s seem fairly often that I seem to know what someone will say next, or wake up with a song in my head only to hear it somewhere soon after....but more so, it seems in my job assisting with surgery it has manifested the most. My job is to basically know the surgical procedures well enough to assist the surgeon...but it goes beyond that, it’s as if I can read their mind and quite often I will do something, or hand them a very specific tool before they have to ask for it...now I know it could just be that I know the procedure well enough and can see what ’s going on and so forth, but quite often in surgery the surgeon is the only one with a good view of what is happening at that moment....if I am opposite him, the visualization is not always that great, bowels and organs are usually competing for the space we are making with retractors or our hands...and especially in overweight people it can especially hard to see. Still in those cases, which are frequent....I feel...hmmmm....5 steps ahead of him...I don’t know how else to express the feeling...and rarely is the feeling wrong. It’s helped me to get where I am now...I am requested to assist to the point that I have scrubbed in and out of surgery just to go scrub in the room already in process next door....so on and so forth.
It’s a very difficult thing for me to explain...it’s like trying to explain one of your other senses to someone who doesn’t have it. But of course you probably do, so you understand what I am now rambling about. lol
 
I’ll have to find the book...very interesting!
I enjoyed the movie “Men who stare at goats” although the movie isn’t for everyone...it’s a bit bizarre, but it delves into the so-called “Psychic Army” that our military was funding in the late 60’s early 70’s...and I think all the way up until the 80’s...I can’t remember, it’s been a few years since I have watched it...anyhow, it has a great cast.
As far as a “sixth sense”, it’s seem fairly often that I seem to know what someone will say next, or wake up with a song in my head only to hear it somewhere soon after....but more so, it seems in my job assisting with surgery it has manifested the most. My job is to basically know the surgical procedures well enough to assist the surgeon...but it goes beyond that, it’s as if I can read their mind and quite often I will do something, or hand them a very specific tool before they have to ask for it...now I know it could just be that I know the procedure well enough and can see what ’s going on and so forth, but quite often in surgery the surgeon is the only one with a good view of what is happening at that moment....if I am opposite him, the visualization is not always that great, bowels and organs are usually competing for the space we are making with retractors or our hands...and especially in overweight people it can especially hard to see. Still in those cases, which are frequent....I feel...hmmmm....5 steps ahead of him...I don’t know how else to express the feeling...and rarely is the feeling wrong. It’s helped me to get where I am now...I am requested to assist to the point that I have scrubbed in and out of surgery just to go scrub in the room already in process next door....so on and so forth.
It’s a very difficult thing for me to explain...it’s like trying to explain one of your other senses to someone who doesn’t have it. But of course you probably do, so you understand what I am now rambling about. lol

Haha, yeah. I developed such a sixth sense as well while playing team games such as America's Army (Yeah it's violent and we kill people in it. Sue me! :P)

Unlike some players who just grief or are out for themselves, I'd get attached to a team mate (or several) such that I know where they are even when I can't see them, what they are doing, and what they might need me to do, so I'd dive in when they are in trouble and be looking in exact direction I need to, covering the place I need to cover, hucking the grenades where they need to go, knowing where all the opponents are that my team mate was engaging... and they do the same with me, like we're some kind of combined organism.

On a practical level it just involves stuff like knowing where they went, knowing where they can't be, knowing where they currently aren't, and extrapolating which way can go vs. all the ways that I know they won't go and where I'd want to be if I were them in their position.
 
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I'm not gifted now (although the "gifted personality traits" are the same) but I was labeled that way as a kid. It was a painful experience. I think I wished a little too hard to be normal.
 
Gifted Kids at Risk: Who’s Listening?

By Patricia A. Schuler
Driving home from last week’s Hollingworth Conference on the Highly Gifted, I heard a radio interview with Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul. He spoke of the loss of empathy in our lives. His words echoed those spoken only hours earlier by Dr. Thom Buescher, an expert on gifted adolescents. We were discussing the tragedy in Littleton, Colorado. I mentioned that I was about to write an article about gifted kids at risk. “What factors do you think were involved in this horrible incident?” I asked.
“The lack of intimacy and rejection,” he replied.
Now, I sit here surrounded by newspaper and magazine clippings all offering opinions about the “whys” of Littleton and other locations where bright kids have murdered or committed suicide. Suggestions on how to avoid similar incidents: gun control, metal detectors, peer mediation, conflict resolution, changing media messages, controlling video games and access to the Internet, parent involvement, religion, and more counselors in our schools … they are all here. Yet no one discusses an important component in understanding what is happening to some bright kids — their being “gifted” and at risk for emotional difficulties.
E-mails and discussions with colleagues around the country confirm what Thomas Moore and Thom Buescher so eloquently stated. Loss of empathy, lack of intimacy, and rejection are daily experiences for some gifted children and adolescents. As “Geek Profiling” sweeps the country, we must speak out to dispel the myths that surround what it means to be “gifted and talented.” We must make a concerted effort to educate our society so that awareness, acceptance, and action will result. It is time to ask others listen to us. It is time to say clearly: bright kids are not better, yet they are different; and because they are, they face different issues.
Consider these two prevailing and paradoxical myths about gifted children and adolescents.
Myth 1: They do not have problems; somehow they can handle difficulties on their own.
Myth 2: Some of their characteristics are perceived as pathological.
To dispel such misconceptions, we must better understand the gifted: their intellectual and personality characteristics, the manifestations of high ability, and the specific problems and issues they face.
Silverman (1993) presents lists of the interrelated intellectual and personality characteristics of giftedness that may be found across all talent domains:
[TABLE="width: 80%"]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Intellectual Characteristics[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Personality Characteristics[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Exceptional reasoning ability[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Insightfulness[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Intellectual curiosity[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Need to understand[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Rapid learning rate[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Need for mental stimulation[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Facility with abstraction[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Perfectionism[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Complex thought processes[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Need for precision/logic[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Vivid imagination[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Excellent sense of humor[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Early moral concern[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Sensitivity/empathy[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"]Passion for learning[/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"]Intensity[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

Giftedness impacts a child’s psychological growth and well-being through the relationship among these characteristics, the type of giftedness manifested, the degree of giftedness (above average to profound), and how well the needs of the child are being met. A child or adolescent may demonstrate general high ability or it may be in a certain domain such as mathematics, verbal, spatial, interpersonal, music, or kinesthetic. In addition to these characteristics and areas of high abilities, it is important to know what attitudes, values, personality temperament, and life experiences a gifted student brings to school. The culture and values of the school and community will also impact whether a gifted child or adolescent feels invited to participate as a positive contributing member.
Research consistently shows that many gifted children and adolescents have the capacity for intensified thinking and feeling, as well as vivid imaginations. Whether they are gifted athletes, artists, musicians, intellectuals, or are highly creative, they may have higher levels of emotional development due to greater awareness and intensity of feeling. “Being different” in ability and personality characteristics may lead to higher expectations, jealousy, and resentment by adults and peers. Specific problems that may result can be external or internal:

  • Difficulty with social relationships
  • Refusal to do routine, repetitive assignments
  • Inappropriate criticism of others
  • Lack of awareness of impact on others
  • Lack of sufficient challenge in schoolwork
  • Depression (often manifested in boredom)
  • High levels of anxiety
  • Difficulty accepting criticism
  • Hiding talents to fit with peers
  • Nonconformity and resistance to authority
  • Excessive competitiveness
  • Isolation from peers
  • Low frustration tolerance
  • Poor study habits
  • Difficulty in selecting among a diversity of interests (Silverman, 1987)
For some gifted adolescents, acceptance by their peer group is the major source of stress in their lives. Repeatedly they hear the message “It’s okay to be smart, but it’s better if you are something else we can accept as well.”
So what happens when a gifted adolescent is “just smart” and is trying to survive in a perceived anti-intellectual environment? Options may include: conformity (working hard to be “average” or “normal”), withdrawal (isolation or alienation), depression (blaming themselves), aggressiveness (blaming others), or continued nonconformity. Higham and Buescher (1987, p. 29) call this the “cultivated weirdness act” whereby a gifted adolescent makes individual statements which say, “Okay, I’m different – just let me show you HOW DIFFERENT I can be.”
For some gifted adolescents, seeking special environments, positive or negative, where they can be accepted and excel helps them to deal with the lack of empathy, loss of intimacy and rejection. This may intensify their own lack of tolerance for others, and they may choose overt anti-social and/or suicidal behaviors. Add to that easy access to guns, an everyday stream of acceptable violent messages in the media and video games, inappropriate educational opportunities, lack of parental awareness or supervision, role conflicts, community apathy or stagnation, and possible mental illness, and should we be surprised that horrible, tragic incidents occur?
Repeatedly, we see factors for children and adolescents who are at risk for emotional difficulties stated in the press. Dirkes (1983) provided symptoms of undesirable levels of anxiety in gifted children, including:

  • decreased performance
  • expressed desire to be like teen-agers
  • reluctance to work in a team
  • expressions of low self-concept
  • excessive sadness or rebellion
  • reluctance to make choices or suggestions
  • extremes of activity or inactivity
  • a change in noise or quietude
  • repetition of rules and directions to make sure that they can be followed
  • avoidance of new ventures unless certain of the outcome
  • other marked changes in personality. In addition, we find other danger signals for gifted children and adolescents that indicate they may be seriously depressed or suicidal
  • self-imposed isolation from family
  • self-imposed perfection as the ultimate standard, to the point that the only tasks enjoyed are the ones completed perfectly
  • deep concern with personal powerlessness
  • narcissism – total preoccupation with self and with fantasy
  • unusual fascination with violence
  • eating disorders
  • chemical abuse
  • rigidly compulsive behaviors (Schmitz & Galbraith,1985)
I worry that educators, parents, and counselors may not be able to detect the stress burdening gifted children and adolescents. Some gifted children and adolescents cover up their symptoms of sadness and depression in order to fit in. Still others fear admitting to distress, because they may be perceived as less than perfect and not in control of their lives. I hear too many straight A gifted students, who are a “pleasure to have in class,” speak of their anguish because of peer and adult rejection. The intensity of their pain and anger is hard to imagine.
What actions can we, the lawmakers, parents, educators, and counselors, take to help gifted kids at risk?

  • Become more aware of the characteristics, needs and issues of gifted children. They need help in “being different.” The lack of empathy and rejection by others, including adults and peers, is commonplace for many of these children. According to Thom Buescher, “Lack of empathy and intimacy lead to poor coping skills, and those provide the momentum for intolerance… the precursor to violent acts.” Too many gifted children and adolescents suffer in silence, or seek negative ways to express their frustration and anger. Teasing and humiliation must be stopped. Empathy and intimacy are needed so that emotional sensitivity doesn’t become emotional disturbance.
  • All of us must advocate for appropriate services to address the lack of challenge and the issues so many gifted children and adolescents face. Programming and services need to be implemented for specific extraordinary talents. In New York State, gifted children are the only special needs students who do not warrant appropriate educational services! The laws need to be changed-now.
  • Parents, develop an awareness of your gifted child’s characteristics. Let them know that they are more than their achievement or academic ability. If you sense sadness, rejection, or anger, speak with your child. Find a counselor who has training and experience in working with gifted children and adolescents to help you.
  • Educators, reexamine your own attitudes and beliefs about gifted children and adolescents, especially those who are highly creative and may be comfortable in their nonconformity.Resist the urge to “Geek Profile.” The messages I have read in the past two weeks from bright kids harassed because they look or think differently are frightening. Offer all staff members training on how to differentiate instruction for gifted students, including acceleration, enrichment, special programs, mentorships, as well as how to meet their social and emotional needs. All school personnel need to understand the differentiating characteristics of gifted individuals, related needs, and possible concomitant problems. Teachers need to open the lines of communication, and LISTEN, really listen to what bright kids are saying – about themselves, their values, their interests.
  • Counselors, get training on the intellectual, social, and emotional issues of gifted children and adolescents. Become aware of how schools can be the most restrictive and stressful places for bright kids. Help gifted students develop appreciation for the similarities and differences between themselves and others, teach social skills if necessary, and show how to solve problems in creative and positive ways. Every school district should have at least one counselor who specializes in or has specific training about gifted students.
What happened in Littleton, Colorado is horrific. It is not known if mental illness was a factor in the lives of the adolescent boys who created such carnage. We do know, however, that they were bright young men who perceived rejection from the culture within their school, and chose violence as a coping strategy.
As parents, educators, and counselors we can foster intimacy, empathy, and acceptance for gifted children and adolescents. The choices are now ours to make.
Who is listening? Who will act?

From: http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/gifted-kids-at-risk-whos-listening

I don't know exactly when I printed this article out but I had it with me since I was quite young. It's basically what I experienced as a child and still do to some extent now.

I don't think my performance was significantly better than my peers' at all, especially in certain subjects like math, but in elementary school since kindergarten, for whatever reason, teachers were constantly singling me out and pulling me out of class and giving me IQ tests and extra crap to do and speshul classes to attend. I was part of some gifted children's association around this age. I have a distinct memory where I watching a demonstration with other kids around my age about dry ice; that was the only interesting thing I remember doing related to giftedness. In the beginning when I was very young I had a sort of selective mutism and was put into classes to help me be less shy. Then I became talkative, but in a socially retarded way. I was also spatially retarded. I got picked on a lot and didn't know how to relate to other kids. I was encouraged to develop my reading, writing, and imaginative skills and was never taught how to be logical or practical. As a result, I was eccentric as fuck and didn't know how to be any other way. It was really embarrassing and I hated all of it. I was unhappy most of the time during elementary school. I thought about suicide a lot, wrote melodramatic stories, and immersed myself in fantasy books in my spare time. My creativity and writing ability could not be matched by myself again at the age I am now. And I was interested in psychology for as long as I can remember. Elementary school, around the 5th grade or so, was the first time I remember taking a Jung type test on SimilarMinds during free time in computer class. I remember getting "ENFJ", reading the description, and relating to the parts about being imaginative and perfectionistic, but finding the social aspect of it odd and surprising. As the years passed, I realized that all I wanted was to be cool and have friends and I didn't like how unbalanced my schooling and parenting had made me become. Eventually, in around the 7th grade, I devoted all of my effort into trying to pay attention to how people acted to try to emulate them. I forced myself to watch MTV and listen to the radio just so I could have some form of common ground with others. "Dumbing myself down" turned out to be quite rewarding at that age. I took it way too far in many instances. I gave up my values and own interests in favour of my image, and that behaviour and way of thinking eventually became automatic. That was a bad idea.

anyway /story
 
[MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION]

Are you sure you aren't my twin sister from another mother?

What you just described sounds like myself to a frightening degree.

Especially the selective mutism. They put me in a public speaking class once. I didn't deliver even one speech. It was "speak or fail" and I pretty much indicated that I found the terms acceptable - I did not speak and therefore failed.
 
Any place where my enlightened disposition came into consideration was basically awful for me as I grew up. I think I've probably experienced every shitty thing that's been described here by you guys; there's probably nothing else I could add to the list of woes and transgressions, especially as far as schools go.

I will say that I basically became numb to any mention of my abilities or "differentness" at school, because once I heard it enough and saw the narrow rigidity of the system and its intolerance for nonconformists, I realized how hollow and soulless a pleasantry it often was. I just wanted to change things so they were at least marginally less shitty than they were, so it would accommodate everyone better. Talking to most people about that, though, landed me with a glazed-over stare and a curt "Yep." or a shrug.
 
I read the full booklet you linked and it actually explained a lot about my childhood. Even today I have some of those mannerisms.

I’ll have to find the book...very interesting!
I enjoyed the movie “Men who stare at goats” although the movie isn’t for everyone...it’s a bit bizarre, but it delves into the so-called “Psychic Army” that our military was funding in the late 60’s early 70’s...and I think all the way up until the 80’s...I can’t remember, it’s been a few years since I have watched it...anyhow, it has a great cast.
As far as a “sixth sense”, it’s seem fairly often that I seem to know what someone will say next, or wake up with a song in my head only to hear it somewhere soon after....but more so, it seems in my job assisting with surgery it has manifested the most. My job is to basically know the surgical procedures well enough to assist the surgeon...but it goes beyond that, it’s as if I can read their mind and quite often I will do something, or hand them a very specific tool before they have to ask for it...now I know it could just be that I know the procedure well enough and can see what ’s going on and so forth, but quite often in surgery the surgeon is the only one with a good view of what is happening at that moment....if I am opposite him, the visualization is not always that great, bowels and organs are usually competing for the space we are making with retractors or our hands...and especially in overweight people it can especially hard to see. Still in those cases, which are frequent....I feel...hmmmm....5 steps ahead of him...I don’t know how else to express the feeling...and rarely is the feeling wrong. It’s helped me to get where I am now...I am requested to assist to the point that I have scrubbed in and out of surgery just to go scrub in the room already in process next door....so on and so forth.
It’s a very difficult thing for me to explain...it’s like trying to explain one of your other senses to someone who doesn’t have it. But of course you probably do, so you understand what I am now rambling about. lol

Those experiences are very familiar to me. For most of my life there's been this sort of Deja Vu thing going on. I feel like I know what's going to happen, but it comes out of nowhere so I usually can't react fast enough to see the next step before it occurs. It sounds really weird and I very rarely talk about it. There's no way to measure the data so I always just put it down to noticing patterns or my subconscious planning ahead.
 
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