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The "it" factor sounds to me like "body language indicating I'm popular and have high social status." Supposedly you can teach yourself this, though I think it has a lot to do with your self-esteem.
I've experienced charismatic people, but I want to know why you think it can't be developed. I didn't notice anything special about her sister in that photo to be perfectly honest, she was very good looking by common standards but other than that I didn't see much.
The photo was just [MENTION=933]Seraphim[/MENTION]'s attempt to explain an undefinable idea. As she said it goes beyond the photo. People with "it" are not necessarily beautiful or charming. They are just magnetic. As [MENTION=933]Seraphim[/MENTION] says their behaviour may even be repulsive yet people still cannot resist them. I'm sure there is some explanation for it but it isn't as simple as they are beautiful or charming. If you improve your looks and work on your charm you still will not have that undefinable quality that they have. I can't explain it any better than that.
I believe that quality is confidence and high self esteem.
I think saying someone has something that other people don't that can't be developed or defined is somewhat appalling as well but maybe that's just my emotions getting riled up a bit. sure there is universal attraction and what people think is attractive but it's not everyone and to suggest these people have some kind of advantage is a little bit out of my realm of reality.
I'm sorry if I offended you. I wasn't trying to say that this quality made anyone superior. I probably got a bit overzealous in my descriptions because this topic riles up my emotions as well; it brings back memories of all the inadequacy complexes I had growing up with my sister. I too find the idea of only some people having this gift appalling and unfair, but to me it's an unescapable fact of life that I've had to resign myself to. I try to equalize things by seeing the good in everyone and not putting too much stock in traits that people can't control, like good looks.
i am also an unrepentant attention whore and crave the feeling of eyes on me at all times.
just kidding. i'm not an attention whore.
i work with this guy and he might have the IT factor, i'm not sure. he has tall and has incredible hair and a powerful voice that he projects constantly. as soon as i met him i shied away from his personality, i thought that there was something shallow and spiteful in him. i got to know him for the sake of a mutual friend who liked him, thinking "i really should give this guy a chance" and when we were having drinks after everyone had gone home he told me that he used to be a prostitute in order to pay for his interest in drugs and that he used to do couples, and that if he could see that one of the couple was really not interested in the experience but was doing it for the other, he would make sure that the one who was into it was having a really great time, and he would try to isolate the other one from the experience. i thought this was pretty low. i have also seen him work under the influence of cocaine. he told another staffmember that he wanted to fuck me and he also did sleep with one of the younger staff who imho was a little bit vulnerable. i had a disagreement with him when we were cooperating on a task one day and he made a personal call that lasted an extended period of time and i told him it was inappropriate. despite the fact that i apologised to him, he then manipulated someone into ganging up on me, and together they left me alone during a very busy period, made sarcastic and derogatory remarks about my clothing and my work abilities, ostracised me to an extent that blew me away... then pretended none of it happened, and went around telling people that i didn't like them anymore, and came up to me when i was surrounded by customers and asked me if they had done something to upset me, as though i was getting upset for no reason. he's deliberately run into me as a way of intimidating me physically, yelled at me for trying to be helpful, talked to me with sarcasm as though i was intellectually disabled in front of customers, made jokes about me and laughed with customers in front of me... and so on. despite all of this, he is well liked and popular on staff, and is always the center of attention.
You keep bringing this back to looks and that is the tell-tale sign that you haven't experienced it. The important thing here is irresistability.
I guess the difference to me is that I think people can control their looks, at least to some extent and I also have an eclectic taste in what I'm attracted to most of there people that are universally attractive don't appeal to me at all.
[MENTION=3710]AlienSpectator[/MENTION] I find your flat out "no" "no" "no's" a little rude to be honest, I'm expressing my opinion here, I'm not going around telling you that you're wrong simply discussing, why belittle my opinion of the issues? can't you see how we could see people through different scopes? maybe someone that has "it" to you I find absolutely repugnant, it's impossible to know what it looks like though others eyes.
You keep bringing this back to looks and that is the tell-tale sign that you haven't experienced it. The important thing here is irresistability.
That's my point though, someone that is irresistible to you isn't necessarily irresistible to me, and vice versa.