These are the INFJ forums!

[Blind Bandit]

'mediation' seems silly to me. it just doesnt make sense.


how 'bout this...

make a sub-forum where exclusively infj's post.

maybe our admin should give limited mod powers to every 'infj' in order to make it happen

maybe in our own private space, infj's could discuss who else we would like to invite into the elite inner sanctum.
:typing:

I agree on mediation it dosen't work at least no when public.

As for the others it won't work. And its not what I want as a member of the board.

privatizing forums only makes things worse and goes against what I stand for on forums. I don't think that will be needed.

About staff you never give more power than you absolutely have to.

This isn't actually about being INFJ really its a a forum dynamics issue. I've seen issues like it before.

I'll keep it short and say forum should stay to what it is meant for.

Ok, let me get this strait, this thread basically says:

"We're INFJs, you have to try and understand our way of thinking, but we don't have to try to understand your way of thinking since this is our forum."

Or is this closer to the truth?:

"We welcome non-INFJ types and their personalities, but we don't want you to have your personality when it's inconvenient."


I probably sound sarcastic, and it's intended (a little anyways), but this whole thread just seems like unnecessary drama. If you want to welcome other types, you have to welcome their flaws too guys.

The issue is again isn't really about type more about respect and people feeling they aren't getting it. Or feeling the board has become less comfortable for them.

And pointing out issues regarding it.

 

[VH]

And Von I find it really brave to start a discusion of wich you allready knew it would become heated. I wouldn't have started it in the first place to keep the peace and I would have retreated a long time ago when I realized I have been misunderstood again and again. I admire you!

Merci! Vous etes courageux egalement. Je me sens que c'est necessaire.

So to conclude, this forum has not to become heaven but it should stay a haven for INFJ's in need.

I agree. I think the biggest problem in this debate is that the non-INFJs don't really understand what we go through in the real world, and how amazing it is to have a place like this where we can go and know there are others like us.

We don't want anyone to leave. We don't want anyone to be censored. We don't want any rules to be added.

We just want people to be sensitive to the fact that we have to deal with a lot of difficulty in life because we are so different, and would like to be able to come to a safe place to interact where there are also others like ourselves. The sweet little INFJs would like some consideration and compassion is all. Would that really be so difficult? And more importantly, is it really worth all of this opposition?

 

[The Jester]

I agree. I think the biggest problem in this debate is that the non-INFJs don't really understand what we go through in the real world, and how amazing it is to have a place like this where we can go and know there are others like us.

Babes, I think I know what it's like to be an outcast, to overthink every single detail during interaction, how hard it is to socialize on a meaningful way with others, ...

I think most I-types know that.

Et pourqoui vous pensez qu'elle est francophone? La majorit

 

[Duty]

The issue is again isn't really about type more about respect and people feeling they aren't getting it. Or feeling the board has become less comfortable for them.

And pointing out issues regarding it.

Then why was type brought into it? If it's just a respect issue then can't it be addressed to the individuals responsible without (what feels like) finger pointing at non-INFJs?

I agree. I think the biggest problem in this debate is that the non-INFJs don't really understand what we go through in the real world, and how amazing it is to have a place like this where we can go and know there are others like us.

All intuitives go through this. I was raised by an entirely SJ family, and I was basically told how "messed up" I was the entire time. Finding MBTI really sorted out that I wasn't messed up, I just spoke a different language then everyone I had ever known.

Now, I don't identify with your "average INTP" that much so I don't frequent the INTP boards (although I have absolutely no doubt I'm INTP).

We don't want anyone to leave. We don't want anyone to be censored. We don't want any rules to be added.

We just want people to be sensitive to the fact that we have to deal with a lot of difficulty in life because we are so different, and would like to be able to come to a safe place to interact where there are also others like ourselves. The sweet little INFJs would like some consideration and compassion is all. Would that really be so difficult? And more importantly, is it really worth all of this opposition?

Well, I see the hang-up. You're life is difficult, just like most everyone else. It is a relief to find a group that is like you...people with similar struggles and all. However, your post is just coming off wrong...you didn't convey the message you intended, because it sounded like you were asking for special treatment, which anyone will be resistant to give you.

I can really understand how it is to find people that understand you. I have 1 such person in my life right now and I love her in a very very deep way. Loneliness and long despair are two feelings I'm very intimate with. You just can't, at any point, ask for special treatment and expect the cruel world to deliver.

Now, if someone is crossing the line and not respecting the natural dignity that any person deserves, then I could see your point and I'm sure the moderators would too. As it is, it just sounds to me like you're asking for special treatment, which I don't think was your intention.

 

[Shai Gar]

*Your

 

[Julia]

MBTI as a system has "soft" boundaries in that it is based on self reporting and subjective perception. There is a glaring inconsistency when such a system is implemented with "hard" boundaries. I vote to avoid any dynamic in which there is a dividing category of members into INFJ vs. non-INFJ. The types of cognitive processing that defines the INFJ are somewhat fluid depending on what source you use as a guideline or which INFJ defines it personally. There are some potential commonalities amongst a group that identifies as any particular type, but only in a general and somewhat hazy manner.

Perhaps one of those commonalities is valuing personal authenticity and cooperation, which implies a general culture of acceptance for both similarities and differences?

 

[soulseeker]

I've noticed that there are a lot of other types here, and we welcome you guys. We really do. But, we need those of you who are not INFJs to keep something in mind - these are the INFJ forums.

From time to time, we're going to say or do things that are not what you would say or do. We don't think quite the way any other type does. And that's precisely the point. We need a place where we can feel like we're interacting with our own kind. This is not typology central. If you're here to learn about us and understand us better, great. But, please don't try to force your reality or sensibilities upon us. We have our own.

Think of this place like a refuge for the rare and elusive INFJs, a wide open place where you get to observe us as we live and behave as we do in the wild. This is to help the almost extinct INFJ population, and is solely for the benefit of the INFJs, and those who seek to learn from us. If you come into the refuge, you're coming into our territory, so be wary. It's not a zoo, and we're not in cages for you to tap on the glass and annoy us. We're not here for your amusement.

Here are a few things you're going to have to accept about us.

1. We can be very judgmental. We are J types, after all. Don't be surprised when we have a strong opinion. Most importantly, don't give us flack for having one. You might notice, we rarely give each other flack over it - because we understand and accept this about one another.

2. We sometimes make very sweeping blanket statements. If your reality can't include the understanding of trends, and has to focus on exceptions, please don't bother us with it. We ALWAYS understand that there are exceptions. Our minds are designed to see the most likely patterns. Babbling on about the obvious exceptions just muddies the topics.

3. We can in fact say that. If we say something that you don't agree with, don't tell us "You can't say that". We can, and we did. Not only is this our forum, we have the right to say whatever we want, believe whatever we choose, and feel however we like. This is a forum devoted to how we INFJs do all of these things. You'll do much better to take notes and learn something about us than to tell us we're wrong, because we're not wrong on our own forum.

4. If you're not helping, you're part of the problem. Please keep an attitude of helping the endangered INFJs. Feel free to ask us questions, but for the love of goodness, don't bicker with us about our opinions. If you haven't noticed, we don't bicker. Bickering is toxic to INFJs. We love to help. We really do. We encourage inquiries. But, seriously, don't bicker with the INFJs. It's the equivalent of tapping on the glass for us.

*gasp*... what made you say these?

what happened!?!?!?!?

 

[krooler]

Sorry for just jumping in in the middle of the thread (I read the first pages).

I think it's just like IRL:

behave well and be respectful, whether you are INFJ or not. You can have respect wherever you go but you need to earn it, and perhaps need to work a bit harder on these forums right now to gain it. It's good to talk about things, so I support this thread personally.

Right now I'm like

 

[Shai Gar]

To quote an INFJ who ...

Shai Gar says (5:46 AM):
Post that.
That, with capitalisation
and punctuation
UNKNOWN INFJ says (5:47 AM):
haha chill shai. Ain't my style to post anything that comes to my mind. Besides, I wouldn't want to "hurt" them... HAHH

infj's do seem to be drama queens

UNKNOWN INFJ says (5:48 AM):
Poor Infjs. Man, we could be so much more...
but we just chose to be attention whores

heh

 

[Shai Gar]

This is self-propagating drama, nothing more. The more we talk about the problems with inter-type relations, the more different types get offended and start to insult each other.

.

 

[Blind Bandit]

.

That depends on who you ask.

 

[acd]

No, it's actually happening.

 

[slant]

I didn't insult anyone...

 

[Norton]

I think the biggest problem in this debate is that the non-INFJs don't really understand what we go through in the real world...

I've been deeply in love with an INFJ for 33 years (my wife). One of my sons is an INFJ and my brother-in-law is an INFJ. There are a few of us non-INFJ's who really do understand INFJ's. That's why I'm here.

I'm a refugee from the bad manners, disrespect, and immaturity of INTPc. I plead for asylum. Please don't make me leave. Please.

 

[slant]

I've been deeply in love with an INFJ for 33 years (my wife). One of my sons is an INFJ and my brother-in-law is an INFJ. There are a few of us non-INFJ's who really do understand INFJ's. That's why I'm here.

I'm a refugee from the bad manners, disrespect, and immaturity of INTPc. I plead for asylum. Please don't make me leave. Please.

I agree, not to diss or anything but intp central is kinda cold.

 

[TheLastMohican]

I didn't insult anyone...

See, ISTPs are always obsessing over themselves!

 

[slant]

See, ISTPs are always obsessing over themselves!

and it's always the yellow man who comes to turn terrible threads into a comedy

 

[midnightmelody]

I feel bad for non-infjs who got the sense that we want them to leave. I never felt as if that was the goal of this thread. Honestly, I don't think this thread is to be taken entirely seriously, but that it is more of a release of some frustration at posts that are inconsiderate to INFJs.

I don't think that inter-type issues should be dealt with like this, but rather just acknowledged as road bumps.

I suppose this thread is a bit incendiary. To be honest, when I posted, it was a bit of a knee-jerk reaction, and I feel as though I may have upset some people, which was not my intention at all. :/

 

[arbygil]

Crap.

I had this big ol' disclaimer message I was going to post, but then I forgot to save it when I went to check my messages.

But maybe that's for the best.

[Disclaimer]: This is me, not the moderator speaking.

A lot of what's been said here really hasn't been good. I can name it but I'd rather not because the word has some ugly connotations. Be that as it may, let's stop flinging around the accusations of type. You are who you are - and type has nothing to do with what might be going on.

We do not need our own "INFJs-only" club. That smacks of country club behavior. What we all need to do, however, is to learn how to communicate effectively. Take private grievances to PM and deal with them in private. If the grievances need to go public so be it, but do so after time has passed - time enough to think things over.

A lot of what's been said has been misunderstandings all over the place. The way things were said and the intentions of the meanings have been lost. People's feelings have been hurt, and perhaps we haven't understood what's been going on.

I will say that this thread came a bit out of left field. The intentions were clear but to anyone who isn't an INFJ, it sounds - typist, to use a PC term.

But I know the intention was kind, and it came from a kind heart.

What are we learning from this? That we communicate different ways. That it's important to understand how to communicate with each other, and that we need all types to communicate well. That INFJs are not perfect and we do stumble and we do act like prize donkey butts. That sometimes our own hurt feelings can be projected on others, and we rally for a fight.

Truly, do we need another forum of pure INFJs? Do we honestly want a separate forum or thread that only discusses INFJ issues? I would think such a place would become quite boring indeed. Do we need special care every once in a while? Absolutely - especially when too many issues are going on at once and we feel as if our home's been invaded one too many times.

But sometimes...sometimes. We just need to be quiet and listen. Listen, and not react. Listen, and get a feel for the other's perspective. Calm ourselves before we react or hit the send key. Use the PMs often to understand the other's POV before a private issue becomes a public mob.

This is the last I'm saying on this. I'm hoping the last of the flames and the fires are out.

[/disclaimer]

I'm not averse to shuttin' this pupper down for a time if it's causing major rifts between members.

 

[midnightmelody]