These are the INFJ forums!

[Shai Gar]

so, the sooner the other forums be made, the better?

 

[slant]

Whew, you go away for a few hours, and...wham!

Slant, as to the mod issue, if we need to add something as a sticky I'm all for it. But I'm not sure what we need to add just yet, or if there's anything *to* add. Let me know if you have some ideas, okay? We can try and incorporate them.

No, if something about type is incorporated into the rules, if people who aren't infj have to be 'especially nice' or something I have a problem with that. That's what I was saying. This thread is fine as long as it doesn't turn into some sort of moderated, enforced rule.

 

[Lucifer]

No, if something about type is incorporated into the rules, if people who aren't infj have to be 'especially nice' or something I have a problem with that. That's what I was saying. This thread is fine as long as it doesn't turn into some sort of moderated, enforced rule.

I can't picture that happening.

I mean what rule would make sense in this situation?

None really. I think a lot of people around the forum would take issue with that type not with standing.

Now das whats up!

 

[arbygil]

No, if something about type is incorporated into the rules, if people who aren't infj have to be 'especially nice' or something I have a problem with that. That's what I was saying. This thread is fine as long as it doesn't turn into some sort of moderated, enforced rule.

Meh. I don't believe in that either, Slant. I think we're mature enough adults that we can police ourselves for the most part. Every once in a while we have to blow the whistle for the time-out, but it doesn't happen that often. As long as we don't take all of it too seriously and walk away from the convo when we need to, we're good.

 

[lostintranslation]

No, if something about type is incorporated into the rules, if people who aren't infj have to be 'especially nice' or something I have a problem with that. That's what I was saying. This thread is fine as long as it doesn't turn into some sort of moderated, enforced rule.

Way to jump to conclusions.. I agree with what VH has to say; this isn't MBTI-wars where you have to pick a side and fight on however this IS the INFJ forums. Nowhere does it say you absolutely must have to be carebear-y towards anyone else but keep in mind that the point of this forum is not to nod and agree with what everyone says, you are entitled to your own opinion, NOR is it to bicker and pick on people, especially sensitive types - I like to think that all of us would prefer productive, engaging discussions over immature pointless quarrels.

This is a forum don't be surprised if someone disagrees with your opinion.. We all just need to calm down a little. It's maybe because we don't get enough drama around here...

 

[myself]

arbygil 4 pres! seriously, you continually amaze me. so classy and intelligent and kind and downright elegant with your words... i love you.

now a word for the freaks...

I understand how cool it feels to identify with a type, especially when that type is romantic, a lone ranger, zen master, jedi, lover of wisdom, guardian, rare and amazing blah blah...

Consider how easily this can be absolute poison for your mind.

I don't know how to communicate my point in a very sensitive way, and I hope that you will not see me as an enemy, but a friend.

It is not healthy to abuse MBTI. You have turned yourself into a cartoon. Do not let your 'type' define you!

This is the easiest mistake to make when you start getting involved with this stuff. It's especially difficult when every other 'infj' reinforces the group mindset, because it just feels so good. But consider how dangerous this is!

The tough part is removing yourself, honestly assessing what is happening in your spirit, and making changes. This is what I understand INFJ behavior is all about.

Learn to laugh at yourselves. Stop taking all of this so seriously.

It is poison for your soul. You can go through life betraying yourself and living in a perpetual MBTI vortex, like a giant, never ending star trek convention. FUCK! Why do people do this to themselves?!

so much more to say but it is so hard to communicate...
i'll try again later.

 

[Blind Bandit]

so, the sooner the other forums be made, the better?

making another forum seems rather wasteful.

either this forum will survive or it will not.

As for a typology style site I don't see the need. If Is someone wanted they have sites already up.

No, if something about type is incorporated into the rules, if people who aren't infj have to be 'especially nice' or something I have a problem with that. That's what I was saying. This thread is fine as long as it doesn't turn into some sort of moderated, enforced rule.

Knowing the staff here I doubt things will change any.

Way to jump to conclusions.. I agree with what VH has to say; this isn't MBTI-wars where you have to pick a side and fight on however this IS the INFJ forums. Nowhere does it say you absolutely must have to be carebear-y towards anyone else but keep in mind that the point of this forum is not to nod and agree with what everyone says, you are entitled to your own opinion, NOR is it to bicker and pick on people, especially sensitive types - I like to think that all of us would prefer productive, engaging discussions over immature pointless quarrels.

This is a forum don't be surprised if someone disagrees with your opinion.. We all just need to calm down a little. It's maybe because we don't get enough drama around here...

Pretty much.

And ever forum has drama it just depends how much you see and don't see publicly.

It seems that some of the comments seem to be more a defense of the right to be arrogant than the right to be INFj. Too many judgments are being made, lead by the need to take personal offense, and overreacting to every hint of tone or disagreement (won't give examples), which creates a tense atmosphere, and many of these are INFjs on the board. We can have our own perspective and still consider and respect the contributions of others.

Hope there is some agreement on how to respect INFj right to engage in an INFj way without diminishing the value of the contributions and approaches which other types bring to the forum.

No I'll be honest its the disire to not have to debate every post we make. To everyone undermine and under cut.

It has nothing to do with arrogance.

 

[myself]

Hope there is some agreement on how to respect INFj right to engage in an INFj way without diminishing the value of the contributions and approaches which other types bring to the forum.

How exactly have we been wronged? This is the part I don't understand.

I'd say the problem with the forum has been growth.

Seems like a different place, even to me, and I'm relatively new.

The vibe on this board seemed so much fresher and exciting a few months ago.

I think we are diluted with the same kinds of threads popping up week after week.

Often times I browse the posts and just don't feel inspired to spend the energy.

How do we fix the problem? We stick around and endure it, eventually the shallow peeps will go away when we ignore them.

 

[54192&#cmy]

arbygil 4 pres! seriously, you continually amaze me. so classy and intelligent and kind and downright elegant with your words... i love you.

now a word for the freaks...

I understand how cool it feels to identify with a type, especially when that type is romantic, a lone ranger, zen master, jedi, lover of wisdom, guardian, rare and amazing blah blah...

Consider how easily this can be absolute poison for your mind.

I don't know how to communicate my point in a very sensitive way, and I hope that you will not see me as an enemy, but a friend.

It is not healthy to abuse MBTI. You have turned yourself into a cartoon. Do not let your 'type' define you!

This is the easiest mistake to make when you start getting involved with this stuff. It's especially difficult when every other 'infj' reinforces the group mindset, because it just feels so good. But consider how dangerous this is!

The tough part is removing yourself, honestly assessing what is happening in your spirit, and making changes. This is what I understand INFJ behavior is all about.

Learn to laugh at yourselves. Stop taking all of this so seriously.

It is poison for your soul. You can go through life betraying yourself and living in a perpetual MBTI vortex, like a giant, never ending star trek convention. FUCK! Why do people do this to themselves?!

so much more to say but it is so hard to communicate...
i'll try again later.

I am not taking this seriously it's a discussion about the feeling's of people who are willing to share them. I don't think anyone is defining themselves by saying they are exclusive or great because they are infj. When you put up with hostile people all day the last thing you want to do is come here and argue with someone on line. I think the fact that I am who I am is a curse and I think knowing my type helped me understand my tendencies and preferences in life. I am curious as to what the group mindset is? Or what it consists of to you. I find the infjs here to be vastly different in their own ways and very similar in others. At some point the infjs here will be out numbered and the name of the board will have no meaning because it will no longer be the safe haven for infjs. Which is what I thought the point was of the site. If it is not change the name to something else that represents the dynamics of the whole board. Show me another site that let's you use every cuss word ya like and we don't get upset. Show me another place where most are accepted and treated with respect. This place is going threw another growth spurt and I think that like all good things you can mess them up when you grow with no real direction. The bottom line is RESPECT for yourself and others don't go around finding fault with others. We all come from vastly different backgrounds and at times it does some good to remind yourself of what your intentions for being on this forum. Are you adding to the community or are you being a sore on everyone's ass...

One more thing I find that I tend to avoid confrontation not because I am afraid to argue or prove my point but because I am worried about offending others or making them feel badly. Sometimes I let things go way too long before anything is said. Then when something is said everyone gets defensive saying that you never told us anything. I just figured it was understood you should know better. I think Von was trying to make this apparent and others went off the deep end...

 

[youhemmein]

This thread basically says, "INFJs have Fe, so if you can't play nice, then don't play at all".

I think this should go in the official rules. Pure , simplistic genius.

 

[slant]

Dude the rules are already against personal attacks and stuff. If people do something out of line it goes to mediation. If that does work we need to revise a different method. That rule is too vague and it makes no sense.

 

[myself]

Dude the rules are already against personal attacks and stuff. If people do something out of line it goes to mediation. If that does work we need to revise a different method. That rule is too vague and it makes no sense.

'mediation' seems silly to me. it just doesnt make sense.


how 'bout this...

make a sub-forum where exclusively infj's post.

maybe our admin should give limited mod powers to every 'infj' in order to make it happen

maybe in our own private space, infj's could discuss who else we would like to invite into the elite inner sanctum.
:typing:

 

[VH]

Von Hase you are like...the guardian angel of the infjs on this forum.

Thank you. That means a lot to me.

Edit: In fact, I'm making it my new sig! :mjedibr:

 

[youhemmein]

Can I just say...

:grouphug:

Let's hug it out.
And get along.
Please.
Be kind, everyone.
Thank you.

 

[Faye]

Okay, honestly, I don't know where you all are coming from. Is the forum falling apart or are people being told they can't say things because I missed both of these somehow? Of course, I am completely oblivious to internet drama because I've seen so much of it on so many forums and, especially, MMORPG guilds (those are the worst) that I really just don't feel an attachment to it.

I will say this is the best online community that I have ever found and it is the only online community over the course of many years that I have really been able to connect with people on. At other forums, I'd be lucky if I were to meet one person, probably an INTP, and that would be it. These are forums where I had 5000+ posts.

Most places, particularly online places, are packed with people caught up in their own egos and putting on a facade. Don't let this insignificance envelop you.

I am happy to have all the non-INFJs here. I am completely against any actions that will serve to alienate them from the INFJs here. Besides, we don't really know whether or not people are INFJ. A % of the people on this site and all other MBTI forums are mistyped, and that is the nature of MBTI. I don't want non-INFJs to feel unwelcome here, and right now, that is where this discussion seems to be heading.

It is simple. Extend basic courtesy to everyone, and anyone who is discourteous ought to be ignored and/or sanctioned (I'm talking personal attacks, ad hominem abusive, not swear words here. If this is not applied indiscriminately, the atmosphere of the forum will be killed.

(I'm sorry Von Hase for saying all these things because I know that you have not said anything with implications that warrant it based on what I saw reading over the thread, but this is not directed at you. It is directed at those who are saying things which do imply a move away from integration on the forums).

 

[Questingpoet]

'mediation' seems silly to me. it just doesnt make sense.


how 'bout this...

make a sub-forum where exclusively infj's post.

maybe our admin should give limited mod powers to every 'infj' in order to make it happen

maybe in our own private space, infj's could discuss who else we would like to invite into the elite inner sanctum.
:typing:

I think you have a lot of good things to say "Myself". The above words are not amongst them. Sarcasm (as much as I love it) is not the way to go here. No one is proposing this but you--and I don't think you are serious. This thread has served it's purpose, and needs to die I think. It has been very interesting following it though.

 

[myself]

I think you have a lot of good things to say "Myself". The above words are not amongst them. Sarcasm (as much as I love it) is not the way to go here. No one is proposing this but you--and I don't think you are serious. This thread has served it's purpose, and needs to die I think. It has been very interesting following it though.

i was not being sarcastic.

an infj only subforum would create the haven that some of these people want.
it doesnt have to be private, but people should respect the 'infj only' aspect of posts in that particular forum

hey it was just an idea...

(my name is Ben)

 

[Questingpoet]

i was not being sarcastic.

an infj only subforum would create the haven that some of these people want.
it doesnt have to be private, but people should respect the 'infj only' aspect of posts in that particular forum

hey it was just an idea...

(my name is Ben)

Ok Ben, I stand corrected. I thought I felt sarcasm. My bad!

 

[Duty]

Ok, let me get this strait, this thread basically says:

"We're INFJs, you have to try and understand our way of thinking, but we don't have to try to understand your way of thinking since this is our forum."

Or is this closer to the truth?:

"We welcome non-INFJ types and their personalities, but we don't want you to have your personality when it's inconvenient."


I probably sound sarcastic, and it's intended (a little anyways), but this whole thread just seems like unnecessary drama. If you want to welcome other types, you have to welcome their flaws too guys.

 

[Morgain]

Hi,

At first I thought I should right my opinion here because I'm not an oldie :becky: but maybe I can give my view from a newbie perspective?

All my live I have lived with the feeling of not belonging, being different than everybody els, not being understood, ... Then I did the MBTI test and what happens, I find a lot of other people with almost exact the same problems as me. It is such a relieve to me, such a joy to finely belong somewhere. Coming to this forum has helped me a lot with understanding myself and learned me how to interact in the real world. And it is true, it can be intoxicating and there is the trap of living your type. But we all have a real live too and this forum is a sanctuary, for me the only place where I feel througly respected, understood and home. And even the fact that there are other types hanging around or that some topics get heated up, doesn't diminish that feeling. To me it is just an advantage to be able to interact with other types to learn, in a save place, how to deal with other people in an harmonious way.

about the argument, I think both "sides" have a point and it is pointless to try to get everyone on the same line because that will never happen. So the only thing we can do is try to understand the others concerns and take it into account.

I agree that nobody should change themselfs to not hurt INFJ's. You are who you are. But since you all know that there are a lot of INFJ's in the house, you could bear in mind that INFJ's are sensitive and don't like heated discussions. And when you are told that your behaviour in some tread has been harmfull or agressive to some people, is it so hard to ask to just aknowledge the fact and respect the sensitivity of that person and not blaim them for being so. Because that is the way a lot of INFJ's are treated in the real world. You're not asked to change yourself or to reread every word with an anxiety of maybe hurting anyone. INFJ's know that they can be hurt and they can live with that. It is just not being acceptad as such or not been taken in account that is the problem

And INFJ's, don't expect this to be the happely ever after farytail world where there is no disagreement or people don't get hurt because that is imposible. We could see the disagreements in this forum as a way of learning to deal with this stuff in the outside world. Use it as an advantage instead of a defect. As long as others give as the oportunity and space to do so.

And Von I find it really brave to start a discusion of wich you allready knew it would become heated. I wouldn't have started it in the first place to keep the peace and I would have retreated a long time ago when I realized I have been misunderstood again and again. I admire you!

So to conclude, this forum has not to become heaven but it should stay a haven for INFJ's in need.

I hope I haven't offended anybody because I didn't meant to!