These are the INFJ forums!

[Gaze]

I think by saying 'we', you're making groups.
If you put people into groups and label them, it's likely that there's going to be hatred between them.
Hatred is perhaps a too-extreme word in this situation, but it's late and I'm not going to think for half an hour to come up with the right word here.

But history has shown us that if we divide people into groups, there's trouble.
Christians vs muslims, whites vs other races, ...

If you think I'm overreacting by saying this, k koo. No this is not directed to anyone in general.
I'm just saying that by saying these things, it'll create a sort of distance. And the problem is, it's already happening.
I won't name examples, but some people on this forum are really acting like their type because it's supposed to be. It has an unconcious influence on us, because we think we're supposed to act this way because we're type X.
You're all human beings goddamnit, and there are only 16 types for so many people.
I hate the fact that everyone thinks they can predict someones behaviour 100% and explain their actions because they know someones type.
You can't. You don't know their background, their perception on things, ...
Okay some of these things might have 'made us' into a certain type, but it's only a tool to help you understand yourself better. It's like a very small light in a dark room, it doesn't help you to see the whole picture, but only parts of it.
People on here post their experiences and then everyone tries to type the people in the story.

I know this might seem hypocrite, but I'm just interested in the MB theory because it's one of the many point of views we can't dismiss.

Agree.

 

[Quinlan]

Then we should change the name to forums.for.MBTI.but.infjs.come.here.too.com

Interesting, forums are a community of sorts, this thread seems to place non-infjs outside of the community (as observors or visitors rather than members).

Forum dynamics, interesting!

 

[Blind Bandit]

I always liked the INFJ forums because they treated me like I was one of them, they didn't try to imply that I didn't belong here or that I needed to 'watch my words' when dealing with them. When I went to INTPcentral, I experienced many cocky remarks on my type and how I was inferior to them. INFJs are quite accepting and laid back--- so this thread doesn't make sense to me.

weren't not asking you to not be who you are. I don't personally have a problem with you and its not really anything your doing.

the best example was probably the end of vons I think I'm a ENFJ thread that was a good example of what needs to stop. that kind of under mining and cutting down of creditability.

Link

http://forum.infjs.com/im-starting-think-might-t3609p7.html

I will keep a look out for other threads that seem to pin point the issue.

 

[sumone]

If anyone leaves here because of this thread I'm going to kick their ass!

 

[VH]

If you think that's even slightly possible you don't understand how the internet works.

I was kidding. The point is that the subject matter of these forums is INFJs. Even if we're just the exhibit in a zoo for everyone else to come and view, we're still the main attraction. All I want is a little more respect for our sensibilities.

(Side note - setting up the address and redirecting DNS servers to the IP where these forums are held would actually not be that difficult, assuming no one owned "too.com", but they do. You could even keep forum.infjs.com and redirect the index to forums.for.MBTI.but.infjs.come.here.too.com. I've pulled this exact stunt for several of my clients who wanted to change the name of their websites. Though for the record, I am NOT suggesting we do this, lest anyone else miscontrue and make assumptions. Sheesh.)

 

[acd]

Damnit. I don't want to argue with you. It does defeat the purpose of even being here. Von, I am touched that you took part of what I said seriously. I'm sure there's a way to please both parties.

You should feel comfortable here. It is important. Everyone who posts here should be welcome and feel welcome.

There's got to be something to work out.

 

[VH]

I always liked the INFJ forums because they treated me like I was one of them, they didn't try to imply that I didn't belong here or that I needed to 'watch my words' when dealing with them. When I went to INTPcentral, I experienced many cocky remarks on my type and how I was inferior to them. INFJs are quite accepting and laid back--- so this thread doesn't make sense to me.

That's because you never do the sorts of things I'm asking some people to stop doing.

I'm also not trying to create a superiority of INFJs, or an us vs them. I'm just asking others to consider that we have certain sensitivities. Albinos have light a sensitivity that most other people don't. People respect that, if they understand it, and generally don't treat their friends who are albinos any differently than any other friends that they have otherwise. That's all I'm asking for here, a little awareness and accomodation, if possible.

 

[slant]

Well if some people are causing problems that should be brought out in the mediation thread, should it not? Even INFJs pick fights with people, it's not so much personality type as it is volatile people who like to provoke others. Right?

 

[Blind Bandit]

Well if some people are causing problems that should be brought out in the mediation thread, should it not? Even INFJs pick fights with people, it's not so much personality type as it is volatile people who like to provoke others. Right?

That won't do any good it will just makes things worse.

everyone will pick sides and things go down the drain.

The mediation area dose no real good for the board.

 

[sassafras]

At first glance, I just sort of saw this thread as a way to better understand the INFJ point of view, seeing as this is a forum dedicated to INFJ's and therefore, is assumed to have predominant population of INFJ's with INFJ ideas and INFJ viewpoints; how certain approaches to discussion might not mesh well with the general populace, and therefore, elicit responses that may not be in line with what other types are used to...

And while I sincerely doubt that VH was asking non-INFJ's to leave, or alienating other types, I can also see where the OP erred in giving off the opposite impression.

Perhaps further clarification is needed? I just have this sinking feeling that there's been some sort of miscommunication.

 

[slant]

yeah well it seems like that's what the mediation area is THERE for...we've used it in the past and it has solved conflicts....

if people are unwilling to use the mediation methods and just expect people to 'stop it', nothing is really going to happen.

 

[VH]

Damnit. I don't want to argue with you. It does defeat the purpose of even being here. Von, I am touched that you took part of what I said seriously. I'm sure there's a way to please both parties.

Thanks. I like you a lot. I'm taking everything you're saying seriously. And I agree, there has to be a way to please everyone. We'll get it figured out.

Everyone who posts here should be welcome and feel welcome.

Everyone is welcome. I think people should also feel welcome. But, the part of this that is beyond anyone's control is how someone will feel about anything. I'm certainly not trying to make anyone feel unwelcome or excluded when I'm addressing a certain sensibility that a lot of us INFJs seems to have.

The issue seems to be that some of us INFJs feel a certain way about the bickering, and some of the other people here feel excluded when we ask for it to stop, or at least an effort to tone it down.

I don't know how not to make someone of a different type not feel excluded when I'm addressing an issue specific to that type. I'm certainly not intending that reaction. I would also point out that I'd never even consider asking for this accommodation on any forum upon which INFJs weren't the focal point. MBTI is by nature a tool to put people into categories, and this forum is not only devoted to Jungian archetypes, but primarily focused on INFJs in particular.

I think this is illustrating something that is rarely said or acknowledged, but very much the case. INFJs are just as sensitive as other sensitive types, even INFPs. We just have different things that we're sensitive about in some cases, or maybe different ways in which we take things.

 

[Blind Bandit]

yeah well it seems like that's what the mediation area is THERE for...we've used it in the past and it has solved conflicts....

if people are unwilling to use the mediation methods and just expect people to 'stop it', nothing is really going to happen.

Thats your take. I don't really agree with it.

And TDHT has the gist of the issue down I think.

I see it as everyone taking this as something its not.

again Von well said. I wish I could make more sense of this for others. Because it seems to make a lot of sense.

 

[slant]

eh, nevermind. none of the mods appear to be taking any action like integrating this into the rules so if you want to blame type for the reason some people are aggro, go ahead man. I'm out.

 

[Gaze]

Well if some people are causing problems that should be brought out in the mediation thread, should it not? Even INFJs pick fights with people, it's not so much personality type as it is volatile people who like to provoke others. Right?

Makes sense.

 

[VH]

At first glance, I just sort of saw this thread as a way to better understand the INFJ point of view, seeing as this is a forum dedicated to INFJ's and therefore, is assumed to have predominant population of INFJ's with INFJ ideas and INFJ viewpoints; how certain approaches to discussion might not mesh well with the general populace, and therefore, elicit responses that may not be in line with what other types are used to...

That's exactly what I meant to do. It seems like this is obvious to us, but not to others. I don't know how to translate these thoughts into non-INFJ speak.

And while I sincerely doubt that VH was asking non-INFJ's to leave, or alienating other types, I can also see where the OP erred in giving off the opposite impression.

Nope, I wasn't, not even implying it.

Perhaps further clarification is needed? I just have this sinking feeling that there's been some sort of miscommunication.

Yup, and it is ironic really, because the OP is about miscommunication with respect to how INFJs come across to others. I tried. I got frustrated. I think I'm about to give up.


...and I'm really sorry to everyone I bickered with. I feel bad about it.

 

[sassafras]

Nope, I wasn't, not even implying it.

Well, actually, maybe the choice of metaphor wasn't the best. If INFJ's are here on display, in cages and glass cases, what does that make the other types? Spectators. Not part of the display. Just visiting. I can see where alt crtl del got the idea of alienation from.

But, like I said, I think that's just a bit of miscommunication.

Yup, and it is ironic really, because the OP is about miscommunication with respect to how INFJs come across to others. I tried. I got frustrated. I think I'm about to give up.

No, I actually think you're making some progress. If others are going to understand the INFJ point of view, which is your primary goal here, I think it's worth seeing this through to the end and clarifying or rephrasing on misinterpreted points.

 

[AUM]

Von Hase,

After re-reading your OP and the response of those others I came to a conclusion that some of us are judging you wrongly. Yes, at first the post seemed a bit odd at how it was worded but I think that what you meant to say regardless of types is that we want a forum where we can state our points of views without second-guessing ourselves as to how it would be perceived by others who might have a different view on an issue even among our own type. A forum where insulting others will not be tolerated regardless if those views aren't as to what others would call "logical".

Let's leave the "F" talk, the "S" talk and the "T" talk aside for once and lets focus more on how this forum is falling apart(or viewed as such) because some people might perceive that the harmony of a once peaceful and respected haven has turned into a more conventional and debate-focused forum. We don't mind those discussions, but I'm assuming that most members here want a forum free of all that hassle that can well be found on the outside and other internet sites.

Even amongst us INFJ's we have lots of disagreements but it's because we're people with different views of life and experience. Yes, we may share the same cognitive attitudes but we are far from being exactly the same. Some of us have different aspirations, motivations and life stories; others might want to share those differences here in this forum for all of us to see and appreciate their uniqueness as human beings.

I don't think you meant wrong Von Hase, it's just that many things pass through our minds when we read " These are INFJ forums".

 

[Shatha]

Von Hase does not intend to offend is the just he's uncomfortable by some people non-infj here.
Just he is angry for this criticism began. It does not all inclusive, he does not want the appointment because he wants everyone to understand, that everything.
This is normal, in my view, by infjs, we become angry when others treat us in a different way than how we treat them, we do not rest for the hassle, that's why we are uncomfortable by their owners, and may we do not tell them until we is patient on them for time some, but then may we tell them our opinion with a very forthright manner.​

 

[Quest]

Von Hase does not intend to offend is the just he's uncomfortable by some people non-infj here.
Just he is angry for this criticism began. It does not all inclusive, he does not want the appointment because he wants everyone to understand, that everything.
This is normal, in my view, by infjs, we become angry when others treat us in a different way than how we treat them, we do not rest for the hassle, that's why we are uncomfortable by their owners, and may we do not tell them until we is patient on them for time some, but then may we tell them our opinion with a very forthright manner.​

aww, your replies are always so cute, Shatha.