"They must be intelligent . . ."

Restraint said:
One of the criteria many people give for a partner, when they are looking, is that they must be "intelligent." And this is interesting because intelligence is tricky term, which can mean many things, and has very different meanings to many people.

So, when we say we want someone "intelligent", what do you mean? What do they need to know or understand to be considered "intelligent"? Is having a certain IQ apart of the picture?

And why?
Click to expand...

They want someone who views they world similar to how they do and who will be able to function well socially and economically. This is entirely subjective, but it comes down to having a shared sense of direction and method of perceiving the world that will result in compatible life goals and minimal conflict. So it could range anywhere from wanting someone with a PH.D. in physics to wanting someone who will be a good homemaker and take care of the children. Both people can be considered intelligent, but it depends on what the person using the word is looking for. It is at this point that how socially liberal/conservative a person is becomes very important, which is not the same as being a "liberal" or "conservative" politically.
 
Intelligence = not stupid....base, clueless, doesn't get it. Sounds harsh, but it's amazing how many stupid people are running around where I live!!
 
randomsomeone said:
Intelligence = not stupid....base, clueless, doesn't get it. Sounds harsh, but it's amazing how many stupid people are running around where I live!!
Click to expand...

Define "not stupid"
 
[o_q];197289 said:
On the other hand, what will he learn from you?
Though not everyone cares about that.
Click to expand...


Just because someone is smarter than you doesn't mean they can't learn from you. You could be well versed in something they've never studied and they could learn from you. Or you could have a perspective on something that they've never considered that enriches their understanding on a previously held belief. You can learn from anyone, no matter how intelligent you are.

I'm more interested how this question plays across gender lines because I like to be provocative like that. It seems, in my half assed research, that men value intelligence in a mate somewhat less than women do. Am I correct in guessing that? I wonder why. I don't want to make assumptions on why that is, but I'm genuinely clueless.

Personally, stupid people get on my nerves. I imagine I'm just as irritating to them as they are to me so it's ok.
 
When my INFJ wife says or does something really brilliant I tell her, "that's the second reason I married you!"
 
randomsomeone said:
My point is that I don't measure the amount, or type of, someone's intelligence. All I need to know is that they aren't completely ignoring the basic realities of the world around them.
Click to expand...

What are the "basic realities" they should not ignore?
 
Posted via Mobile Device
 
hahahahaha INFJs hate stupid people ?!?! hihihi :-p :) =)
Posted via Mobile Device
 
I consider someone to be intelligent when they, as the Japanese say, "can read the air". People who are unaware of the meanness, inappropriate times to say certain things, unable to catch on that someone is down/needs/help/doesn't want you to jabber about what YOU think they should do but listen instead are, in my opinion, lacking intelligence.

Interpersonal skills rank very high on my intelligence scale, whereas, someone's ability to solve calculus and chemistry equations does absolutely nothing for me.

I guess it's all about WHY what you define as intelligence is valuable to you. I wonder if some people need academic or debating brains in someone so they always have someone to compete with. Ego could be a serious problem for that person, covered up by a nice thick layer of pride to go with it.
 
This can go back to multiple intelligence theory. What someone is smart in. Some people are smart in language, math, art, music, social skills, know themselves. I think that many of us want all of these things. I think that realistically people have strengths and weaknesses. Take the good with the bad.

I think that what is important is that a person is reflective and knows themselves AND wants to develop strenths and weaknesses.

This is so subjective. Honestly, I can't look for anything in someone else that I am not trying to learn in my own life.

I am looking for someone who is self reflective and interested in spiritual matters. I am looking for someone who is Buddhist. I want a man who practices like I do.
I want someone who is a seeking spirit, like I think I am. I also what someone who reads about Buddhism and other interesting types of philosophy. I also want someone in my life who likes to write and develop their writing craft.

I want someone who mirrors me but is not a carbon copy (I shuttered at that). I want to have great and interesting conversations! I am looking for someone who also has a sense of humor and does not take themselves too seriously.

Most of all I want someone who is compassionate BUT also strong. Someone who is not afraid when things go array. A gentle pillar of strength!

I think that this man, who I know I will meet, will have to have some measure of intelligence.

I am determined to meet him this year :)
 
intellectual...deep, profound... so curious and open-minded that they keep bringing up interesting questions and stimulating viewpoints to our conversations. <3 ahh, that's LOVE.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top