I'm exhausted from being kept awake on Facebook messenger from an armchair bully.
Does anyone know how to print a conversation from messenger? I don't have FB on my PC but it's on my phone, from which I can't print from, lol.
Those that know me know I'm very much involved in American Legion and it's programs. So much so that I tagged on the new hat of 6th District VP, lol. Veterans of any kind are important to me ...
Well the other day I ran across a conversation in our Community Forum where two people, and a friend, a fellow Aux member, were all squaring off about our clothing---stressing the word clothing here---drop off box is in our garage. This time of year the 'box' gets jammed up with Community members' failed yard sale items. Mind there is a huge laminated sign above the doggie door stating used clothing only.
These folks still cram in whatever will fit in the door...it's about 3x3 foot square and you could shove a St. Bernard through the opening, lol. The fellas that made it built it that big to accommodate an average size bag of clothes through it without ripping the bag. We get all sorts of things in there, even common household garbage!
Once or twice a week a Legion member has to sort through the bags before the truck comes to pick the items up. The driver has a key and is gracious to load the items in the truck. He will not take any of it if it's trash, knick knacks, glass, or the like. The bin is for clothing only.
Well back to my armchair bully...
He was offering, a nonmember mind, to meet the gal complaining on the Community forum at the garage to empty the drop box. Neither realizing that the damn door to sort from is locked, with only 2 people having a key. Did they plan to go through the doggie door?
Well she publicly called all of us members a bunch of lazy drunks, he said he had no plans to join but would meet her at our garage to empty the box.....well shit, no y'all won't. That's private property, lol.
So I took the bait...
Was it boredom, bedlam, or my just wanting to call them out based on principles? Maybe a little, however, it was more like I was pissed at them for publicly calling our veterans and AL family a bunch of lazy drunks! No we ain't. Many of us do a whole lot to improve our Community. We sponsor the free to them July 4th week, fireworks, carnival and parade so the community members can sit in their lawn chairs along main street with their beer can in hand at 10 am...
errhehm...I digress back to the conversation with this arm chair bully...
So I tell her she's not very nice, she tells me I'm an ignorant asshole and butt out...ha. There's one.
He accepted my loaded offer to dm me about sponsorship in the ALF because he's a VETERAN! and he's married to a woman that I went to school with and played with as a child...she lives right down the road. lol. they do now, lol.
So I tell him after he tells me that our Commander has been trying to recruit him for years, that I would pay the $50 first years dues for him if he would commit to saving $1 a week to pay his own next year; to hook up with the Commander, show him the conversation, and the Commander would then come find me....oh he'll no!
He was pleasant and thanked me, said he'd catch up with Mack, thinking about it...then messages me around 6pm says the woman is not stopping her ranting...
Y'all know how we can sense something just isn't right? well I sure felt that set up the whole way through, lol.
I go look for the original conversation and nuthin. No subsequent condos either, lol. I decided to see how far he'd play it out.
So, I asked him outright what his motivation to join the Legion was. Here's a link, my suggestion is to go see what the ALF actually does, Letting him know we were more than the neighborhood drop box.
Can we all say narcissistic mf together now? I can't stand a person setting me up to prove a fight he thinks he's already won in his head before he even starts talking. He musta thought I missed where he said he had no intention to join the Legion.
Thus the reason I had tossed the facts, or bait depending on viewpoint.
So, at half-past 11 pm-ish, mind I'm sleeping for the night, lol, he says he's had time to think, (no, he had time to restructure his fight because I didn't bite the first time,) and asked me why I was questioning his motives.
Well, probably because I smelled the rank of your intent from the first consonant typed in the community forum.
I said I recind my offer of sponsorship.
At 2:23 am exactly he pinged my phone yet again...do y'all know that one of a narcissist's/bully's mo's is sleep deprivation?
Yeah, not this cat. He went on and on about how I'm an ignorant asshole and a bad representative of our organization, blah, blah, f-ing blah...All I could do is laugh because he thought he woke me up, but in reality this old gals bladder had me awake first!
So I assured him that I did indeed call him out, and I'm good with him snitching to our Commander (I'm Auxiliary and we have a president and our Commander says yes ma'am to me because we've been friends for over 6 years and he can't tell me what to do any way because were a separate entity, lol) I didn't tell him all that however I did send Mack a text at an appropriate hour of what's going on and he told me he's got it and will shut it down He's one of the good guys, a 2 war vet and very active in our Community.
So I went back to sleep for a couple hours. Mack calls me, tells me he's sorry for waking me up but all was taken care of..........we laughed because as we were on the phone Mr. Armchair Bully blew up messenger with how rude, ignorant, and cheeky I am and that he wasn't going to pursue anything with the Commander and I could, and I quote "Have the m-f-ing day I deserve ". lol.
Brother don't I wish I could have a day deserving of all the things I've done and do for my family friends, and community!
What a shmuck. I didn't answer him.
Perhaps karma will visit him, perhaps he'll get his Christian reward.
My armchair bully did indeed take his grievances to the wrong audience. Our Commanders...yep, more than one, set my ill-informed neighbor on a more agreeable path. One of our Commanders is also the Town Supervisor. He made an at home visit to my disgruntled neighbor on my behalf as well as the dropbox volunteers...the neighbor was invited to a 15 minute floor space at the next Town meeting. He denied the invitation.
Just terrible that is. He'll not be spreading viscious rumors nor harassing me in the future because he was advised...not warned, as that would be harassing him...anyhoo, he was asked to cease and desist or he would be summoned to Town Court and charged with slander and harassment not only to me, but the 982 other Legion members as well.
I truly didn't realize and greatly appreciate the backing of my good deeds in my community.
I didn't know that by my maintaining my own integrity, treating my fellow community members equally in kindness and respect would have such an impact on others.
Today my weekly message from my vastly open-minded Spiritual Leader/Preacher. He's the best! He spoke at dad's funeral and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. He's pastor at three different churches five days a week. A psychic--known worldwide for finding lost and stolen children...not all the stories having happy endings unfortunately. I've known him much of my life and used to go to sleepovers with his younger sister when we were in grade school. Her family moved away to another state the summer we were moving into the sixth grade. We kept in touch via letters until MySpace and now Facebook came about. Phil was in parochial college by then. It was a blessing to our community when he and his SO Charlie moved back home.
His email message this morning really hit home with me today...Never doubt the power of genuine LOVE...it will move even the stoniest of hearts ♡
I'm sharing his message with all of you this morning in hopes that love touches you in miraculous ways...
When life weakens us, in our human journey, we need to go beyond the grasp of human expectations, anticipation, and resolve and turn it over to the God of our understanding to strengthen us. We must overcome the fears that life creates and trust a power greater than ourselves. The human spirit often feels it must take care of itself before relying on faith or God. We are not God, yet God and faith are the very essence of our being. The inpatient spirit can become angry, frustrated, and doubtful, assuming the worst. Yet, when we experience the peace that faith has to offer, we discover an understanding and direction in our life where we don’t have to walk alone, but with the love that surrounds us. It is through darkness that faith lights the way. Difficulties, health issues, financial insecurity, relationship issues, etc., are all part of the human journey. However, as we are all humans on a spiritual journey and spirits on a human journey we must integrate both into our one being to feel harmonized spiritually as humans. A prayer that has sustained me so many times in my life is The Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Many times, I must repeat that many times, and digest its meaning to accommodate my situation. The prayer lets me know that I am not alone as I call upon the God of my understanding, it helps me to call upon the world around me for help, but also helps me to accept my responsibility in my journey. Love means we are in this journey together, our faith becomes the vehicle to maintain that love...
Again this world doesn't cease to prove me right...
Tho, I sincerely wish I weren't.
We had a young man, 34, (to me that's young), disapear in May from a large town about 20 minutes away. His picture was posted all over 4 local news stations. Some of the news stories were of his family pleading with the public for any leafs of information.
Into the third dayish I felt it...felt that he was gone from the area. I recall thinking he was another soul wandering off to find himself.
As the weeks passed his story faded to the background to be replaced by others' stories.
It was an awful feeling watching the news report today that they've found him. The authorities found him in a shallow grave on the statelands about 10 minutes from my little town. They have also said they've indited 10 individuals for kidnapping and murder 2nd.
What the fuk.
The different agencies said the investigation spread across 2 counties and 2 states and that MORE were being charged.
Again, I ask, what the fuk?
I don't even want to know these details. yet, I do.
How could so many people be charged in the incident Why did none of them come forward with information at the time?
My only conclusion is there must have been a party, things went wrong, and ... and what?
I just pray the young man's soul finds peace as his family too finds understanding and peace in what is developing into a horror story for all of us in my little town.
Been a minute, yet here I am. There has been plenty to think about but not much to write. The family still thinks I'm the bad guy...that's okay, it stays quiet around here that way.
Currently, perhaps because it is so quiet around here, I have several new forest friends...1 very large black bear, 3 foxes, a woodchuck, a skunk, and I've lost count of the rabbits, however, with 3 different owls I'm sure that number will wax and wane.
oh, and my step-nephew committed suicide on September 30th via drug overdose...he has been using one form or another since teen years. After witnessing his father dying of a drug overdose when my nephew, we'll call him Dave, was only 8 years old it only exasperated a deeper psychological issue. Dave presented with skitzophrenia and bipolar disorder at around age 13, they put him on a couple mood enhancers and Ritalin at that time, by age 15 he was diagnosed as sociopathic with psychopathic tendencies and the bipolar-skitzo affective disorder was dismissed. His senior year, Dave, was all set to go into the Air Force with full college benefits, the adults in his life believed he simply lacked structure and routine. He failed the psychological evaluation set by the Air Force and was released after a few weeks into therapy. His parents and grand parents still believed he simply needed structure and routine so they sent him off to MIT and he disappeared for 3 weeks a day before his departure for college...his mom got a call from the county jail...he'd been arrested for holding a box cutter to the 7-11 clerks throat and demanded she empty the register. He was charged with armed robbery...he was high at the time. It appears when one lives in a big city it really does matter WHO you know. His family got him a good lawyer, he was released to rehab and 5 year probation. After being released as clean he was home 2 days and went missing. He and a couple friends stole a moving truck and began robbing houses in the upscale section of the city. They found him sleeping in the cab of the truck in the parking lot of the same named moving company. That was crafty thinking the DA thought. He was sent to prison for armed robbery because the thefts caused a breach in the probation agreement so he had to serve the time. It didn't stop him. After he got out for time served he practically killed his roommate and his girlfriend within days of leaving the halfway house from his release. Fave went back to prison for 9 years. His grandmother, my dad's life mate, passed away while Dave was in prison...she was one of his enablers and said right up to her death he hadn't done all of those terrible things, he was innocent. Well, when Dave was released in January the parole board agreed to relocate him away from his city, his family, and old friends...his mom told me it worked for a few weeks until he disappeared again...this time he was missing for almost 6 months. When they found him they had charged him with possession with intent to sell and released him to his parole officer.
When his mom called me October 1st to tell me that he had been found at a friend's house unresponsive and later pronounced dead she was still waiting for the official coroner's report but she repeated the phone conversation she'd had with him the day before.
He told her he couldn't go back to prison again, that he knew he'd 'never get it right', knew the family hated him, and he believed if everyone had just treated him better that he wouldn't have had to hurt them all.
I had to ask her if he was apologizing or justifying his actions over the years?
She said no, he wasn't apologizing and she went on to tell me some of the horrific conversations and texts he'd been doling out to them all. They're nauseating, they aren't sharable here.
She insisted that it was his mental illness and incessant need to hush his mind, and because the current charges could accrue 20 years to life...he chose to take his.
I do feel compassion for her, and her family. I won't be attending the memorial and spreading of his ashes. Instead, I'll send a care gift to the family because I believe his soul must be at peace now.
I borrowed this poem below from a tribute my niece gave on FB to her brother Dave. It is uncanny how fitting it is to describe how drug addiction and mental health are the two toughest foes beknownst to mankind. My heart aches for those touched, and especially those left behind. ♡
I destroy homes, tear families apart - take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold - the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
And if you need me, remember I'm easily found.
I live all around you, in schools and in town.
I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.
My power is awesome - try me you'll see.
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie.
You'll do what you have to just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms, will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.
You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad.
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised.
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and I'll take, till you have nothing more to give.
When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned this is no game.
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind.
I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed.
The voices you'll hear from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see.
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do.
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen.
Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away.
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master; you will be my slave.
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not?
Its all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell.
I hope it doesn't come off as insensitive, but I feel this. Not much to do, other than take the time you need to process it, and continue their legacy by trying to improve yourself in a way that reminds you of them.
Trying to find the time to write thoughts is like trying to heard cats, lol.
One bright spot is a week ago we were filling out cremation and end of life paperwork for my mean sister, today she's partially alert and breathing with a trecheotomy. The brain infection has caused her seizures so the docs knock her out with a cocktail of antisezire mess and anti-anxiety mess to keep her calm. She'll be moved from the critical care unit at the hospital into a room in a full care rehabilitation slash senior home. Docs are saying it's a waiting game now because she'll have permanent brain damage or pass quietly from the fluid and air around her lungs and heart. My niece is an emotional wreck. They both are being treated for a bacterial and fungal infection caused by poor housekeeping. My niece may get charged with endangering her mother and the house may end up condemned from human and animal feces, garbage, and trash throughout the home.
Sad reality is my niece will be homeless with a dog that doesn't know outside from inside . They aren't coming here......because of the dirty habits. I will loan her the rent and deposit money tho because I don't want them to go homeless.