Top Tips: Helping an INFJ Survive in an Extroverts World

[88chaz88]

Mix with people that don't give a shit that you're introverted.

 

[Kmal]

Oh believe me: my world is very, very small. Though I can't say that I'm quite comfortable with it which perhaps is a good thing in my case. Are you saying that one should find balance between the two? There are times when I consider myself introverted just as there are times when I believe I am extroverted. Though I feel at this point I'm mainly taking the negative characteristics of the two. Or are you suggesting that I should find my place and lean towards one end of the spectrum?

a small world (universe/mind speaking) isn't always a good thing! however, being comfortable with it implies it isn't as small as you think, since you could venture out at any time; which is a VERY good thing.

your perception, and in this case, reality, is a construction of your mind. when you think you take on negative characteristics, you do via rationale and evidence. "whatever the thinker thinks, the prover proves" Robert Anton Wilson
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Prometheus-Rising-Robert-Anton-Wilson/dp/1561840564"]Amazon.com: Prometheus Rising (9781561840564): Robert Anton Wilson: Books[/ame]

if you like to read, that book offers plenty of insight into the mind and how to influence the flow of the universe. that book changed my life.

i get the feel that you're extraverted, though i could be biased because your mbti type says ENFJ-- but the fact that you say "find my place" rather than "find my self" influences me. regardless, what i was saying was extraversion and introversion are one in the same-- so if you find yourself, then you will probably find your place in the world; if you find yourself, you will probably find your place in the world soon thereafter. as an introvert, i always say "get yourself together, then the pieces will fall in place." idk how an extrovert works!!

 

[Blind Bandit]

Drink heavily, that will suppress your Fe and then you wont give a damn....

Oh and learn to detach emotionally from the world. Its not fun but its one of the only ways I know to survive the mental onslaughts from other folks. Especially sense INFJs have a hard time not taking on other emotions.

It's too bad this thread is titled "survive" I feel like what you really want to do is "thrive" which is much different.

Until E types and SJ's stop trying to push that their way is the only acceptable "normal". INFJs and other types that aren't "normal" have to hope to survive let alone thrive. So maybe when people stop trying so damn hard to push what is "normal" more folks will be able to thrive.

 

[Kmal]

Drink heavily, that will suppress your Fe and then you wont give a damn....

Oh and learn to detach emotionally from the world. Its not fun but its one of the only ways I know to survive the mental onslaughts from other folks. Especially sense INFJs have a hard time not taking on other emotions.

haha! drinking takes away my ti-se, mbti speaking. it seems like it just enhances my ego, ni-fe, making me a less balanced individual.

yes! aka not giving control of your emotions to anyone but YOU!

Until E types and SJ's stop trying to push that their way is the only acceptable normal. INFJs and other types that aren't "normal" have to hope to survive let alone thrive. So maybe when people stop trying so damn hard to push what is "normal" more folks will be able to thrive.

AW! you're being too hard on them e's and sj's. the problem you're speaking of isn't mbti related.

 

[Blind Bandit]

haha! drinking takes away my ti-se, mbti speaking. it seems like it just enhances my ego, ni-fe, making me a less balanced individual.

yes! aka not giving control of your emotions to anyone but YOU!

That's true. But your Fe becomes the fun function and so much trying to make everyone happy function.

 

[88chaz88]

That's true. But your Fe becomes the fun function and so much trying to make everyone happy function.

To be honest drinking probably dulls your introverted functions. What you describe sounds like an Fe/Se combo.

I know that for me, drinking would cause my Fi to stop giving a shit.

 

[Blind Bandit]

haha! drinking takes away my ti-se, mbti speaking. it seems like it just enhances my ego, ni-fe, making me a less balanced individual.

yes! aka not giving control of your emotions to anyone but YOU!


AW! you're being too hard on them e's and sj's. the problem you're speaking of isn't mbti related.

Sadly I know too many E and SJs to simply defer it as not related or what not. Normal is a really big problem and anyone who is not normal can understand that.

To be honest drinking probably dulls your introverted functions. What you describe sounds like an Fe/Se combo.

I know that for me, drinking would cause my Fi to stop giving a shit.

Yes that too. But it also drops Fe's often vice like grip. Which is really nice sometimes. I need money to drink.lol

 

[Kmal]

Sadly I know too many E and SJs to simply defer it as not related or what not. Normal is a really big problem and anyone who is not normal can understand that.



Yes that too. But it also drops Fe's often vice like grip. Which is really nice sometimes. I need money to drink.lol

well, why aren't you normal? are you something above human? below human? aren't we all humans and equals? i think normalcy is projected, not interpreted. the people who have a problem with you, and your 'normalcy', are most likely unaware-- and that happens. accepting them for who they are gives you a better chance of being accepted by them.

the 2nd part just gave me a whole new insight into why my dad is an alcoholic.

 

[insontis]

[MENTION=2259]Kmal[/MENTION]

I don't know how an extrovert works either.

There are many things I don't understand about myself which is more or less why I'm looking into introverted vs extroverted. Just trying to shed some light on my self so when I look in the mirror I can see more clearly. It's dark in here. I realize that both have 'flaws' but then again that's what makes everyone different from everyone else. I'm not looking to necessarily change the way I am though there are certainly things I could improve upon. What mainly stood out to me is the fact that regardless of being on opposite ends of the spectrum, I find myself sharing traits from both at different times - even opposites. I believe part of this to be do to the fact that I am isolated - not by choice. Now that doesn't mean that I necessarily would want to be the center of attention either. Because I'm not presented with such situations, it makes it difficult to determine exactly how I mix in such an environment. I suppose a half-ass analogy would be domesticating a wild animal from a young age. After living in a cage for some time, you become used to it. You might not be able to survive in the wild after a certain point - or even have the desire to do so. That's pretty much where my confusion comes from.

Spamming mindless jabber,



insontis

 

[Kmal]

"Shed some light on myself" "it's dark in here." I know you will find what you seek. Essentially, you are yourself, extroversion and introversion are the same and a distinction on matters in the moment. Accept yourself!

What are you doing to become right with the/your world?
What are you doing to become right with yourself?

 

[insontis]

"Shed some light on myself" "it's dark in here." I know you will find what you seek. Essentially, you are yourself, extroversion and introversion are the same and a distinction on matters in the moment. Accept yourself!

What are you doing to become right with the/your world?
What are you doing to become right with yourself?

I'd hope that I'm myself, or at least one of my selves. How awkward would it be if I were someone else? They'd have some questions for me. Questions I can't answer.

To become right? What is right... normal? flawless? As of recently my mind races when I contemplate such thoughts. I debate with myself over all aspects philosophically and logically. I'm constantly countering my own thoughts with logic and canceling them out. To become right with myself I am aiming to become right with the world. I am in harmony with neither; I believe that if I were to change that for one the other would soon follow. At the moment I'm trying to isolate my life goal(s) in my mind and construct a way to obtain/maintain them. From there it's a matter of action, though such action will face quite a significant amount of resistance (which really has no impact other than time consumption). I am motivated though my direction is unclear and I don't wish to charge full steam ahead into a brick wall. So at the moment I'm keeping my foot on the brakes until I figure out exactly which way to go from here. After I have a direction, I can begin to become right with the world. As for becoming right with myself.. I'm not sure exactly. Bringing myself to be right with the world and perhaps even happiness would allow me to be at peace with myself though I have much to atone for. I suppose I don't really have a definitive answer to what I'll do. The one thing I know is that if I have a solution in my sights I'm damn sure I won't let it get out of reach.


A lot more words without saying anything,



insontis

 

[the]

Until E types and SJ's stop trying to push that their way is the only acceptable "normal". INFJs and other types that aren't "normal" have to hope to survive let alone thrive. So maybe when people stop trying so damn hard to push what is "normal" more folks will be able to thrive.

This seems like a big turn from how to survive in an extrovert world to SJs and Es are keeping everyone else down...

If INFJs would stop being free spirits and get in line and march in step, more people will be able to thrive as well. Neither option seems like its going to get 100% participation. Lets meet in the middle friend.

 

[acd]

Be kind
Have a sense of humor


One coworker, after cracking up about something we were talking about said, "I can't believe you don't have any friends."
Which was funny because I do.. have like 2 friends.. but she assumed I was some crazy cat lady.

 

[James]

Try to find balance in what you do, and use your self awareness to adjust things to suit your personality. Infj's are often exceptional communicators and can thrive in social environments as long as we're not over exposed to prolonged socialising.

Use the infj abilities to read and understand people (not in a manipulative way) and overcome introversion difficulties. Think ahead and then "let go" and just roll with it.

Extroverts often love having an infj around once they get used to us. Infj's are famous for being interested in and caring about people, and being good listeners. Extroverts love to talk and everyone needs someone they can trust to confide in sometimes. Stick to your guns on the things that really matter and let the small stuff slide is my philosophy.

 

[Trifoilum]

Open your eyes,
Open your mouth,
Open your heart,
Open your ears.

Close your heart,
Close your ears,
Close your eyes,
Close your mouth.

Learn to do all.

Speaking wise, work on condensing, not streamlining.
Be kind.
Hold your sanity.
Break through the chains. Of blame, of guilt, or shame, anything.

Learn -not- to be defensive.
Learn to be proactive instead. Not rude or be a jerk or something; be proactive.

 

[bickelz]

My argument here would be that the world created by this isn't worth surviving in anyways; One good point, though, is that selfishness and selflessness are ~not not not not not not not not~ mutually exclusive. There is almost always an option of choices that can satisfy the need of the self AND the need of the group simultaneously. Read John Nash

Yeah, screw the system and it's people.

I don't really understand extroverts so much and I have a couple introverted friends that don't either. One of my friends cannot live with any sort of silence unless he is typing. Even if he is reading, he needs to have a conversation.

I usually just shut myself in, which isn't a great strategy but no else is here to judge me wearing sweat pants.

 

[cazandria]

I totally agree with learning to say 'no' and learning to be kind to yourself. I'm in the process of learning these now, and it's kinda kicking my ass...

other tips
Listen. It's how you learn.
Be involved in things. You can be introverted in situations and extroverted in your social life.

 

[cazandria]

if you find yourself, you will probably find your place in the world soon thereafter. as an introvert, i always say "get yourself together, then the pieces will fall in place." idk how an extrovert works!!

I totally agree with this philosophy. I'm in the process of getting myself together, and boy it's tough, but i'm starting to see some of the pieces falling into place... That definitely explains how it works for an introvert.

 

[Majesty]

I give extroversion lessons.
Good quality and good price.
Anyone interested?





Btw, being a P in this hardcore J sucks even more.

 

[bickelz]

I give extroversion lessons.
Good quality and good price.
Anyone interested?





Btw, being a P in this hardcore J sucks even more.

Note that I'm not mad at you but I hate the P vs J shit. There is no such thing as a P or J trait, they're manifestations of the cognitive functions. As introverted judgers, we lead with our perceiving function. Personally, I'm pretty split between P vs J traits and it's because of Ni which acts to both perceive and converge.

/Rant