Ultimate Difference Between INFP and INFJ

wonkavision said:
Ok. I see.

You're just messing with me.

You don't really think I'm a Sensor.

UBER's probably just screwing around too. :D

Thanks for nothin ya jerks! ;)
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What? No I'm not.
 
wonkavision said:
I guess nobody's gonna answer the question I asked in the OP, so I might as well derail the thread myself.

I've never really considered the possibility that I might be a Sensor. I'm really intrigued right now.

In fact, you're the third person who recently suggested ISTP.

Why do you think I might be ISTP?
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I'm still trying to put together my arguments. Please standby.
 
By the way. ISTP can be quite intuitive. Funcionwise, Ni is a third function for the ISTP and it can be developed.
 
Are you bat shit?

What I like about this question is that without further inquiry I could be talking about either type.
 
I think the only thing really that you can do is to get to know the cognitive functions and try to discern which of those you have preferences for.

I am still having issues figuring out my type also, and I'm currently at the same place you are.

It's still hard sometimes even when you get to know the functions because certain things you do can seem like something it actually isn't. I think it all ultimately comes down to the truth of the motivations behind the whys of your actions and thoughts. It can be quite hard as I've been discovering to objectively consider all of that stuff.
 
[MENTION=6017]wonkavision[/MENTION] In all sincerity, I think you might be a Sensing type, just based on the style of some of your posts that I have read. I think it's doubtful you're an Ni, because you look outside yourself too much for answers/resolution. This does not seem to be an Ni thing, from what I understand of typology.

Another explanation may be that you are an Intuitive type but don't trust your intuition, hence this entire thread.
 
chulo said:
1) made an aggressive statement 2) thought about how that statement may affect the listeners 3) edited the statement to digress and put a positive spin on it

Very XXFP of you. :hug:

And FYI I am a true INFJ who mirrors as an ESTP when threatened.
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Yeah you wish.
 
I used to think I was INFP-- and still do, sometimes-- but then I realized that in my interactions I always care for other people's feelings. I think about what I'm going to say or do, before I say or do it, so that I do not offend or hurt anyone. That may be the ultimate difference. I've read Fi types can get very tired of this behavior very quickly. They see it as the Fe-user being a sort of nanny to the other person(s). I think when we do let something slip, we immediately emulate for ourselves what the other person must be feeling, so that we're literally feeling it with them; on top of that, we also feel very keenly the "what must they think of me now for saying this" judgments that might not even really be there.

Auxiliary Fe is stressful.
 
subwayrider said:
I used to think I was INFP-- and still do, sometimes-- but then I realized that in my interactions I always care for other people's feelings. I think about what I'm going to say or do, before I say or do it, so that I do not offend or hurt anyone. That may be the ultimate difference. I've read Fi types can get very tired of this behavior very quickly. They see it as the Fe-user being a sort of nanny to the other person(s).
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The difference between Fe and Fi is not whether we care, but it's how we care. As an INFP, I always care and it has always been a part of me. I probably care far more than most people realize, so to say Fi's don't care is far from true. The difference is how we are expected to care. I am a caretaker (nurturer), partly because of an ISFJ mom, but this is me. It's just that Fis may feel that being "authentic" (lack of a better term) or showing emotional honesty is more helpful and beneficial to someone when building relationships. It has nothing to do with not caring about people or how they feel. I'd say, it's just the opposite. We simply show caring differently.
 
Cedar said:
The difference between Fe and Fi is not whether we care, but it's how we care. As an INFP, I always care and it has always been a part of me. I probably care far more than most people realize, so to say Fi's don't care is far from true. The difference is how we are expected to care. I am a caretaker (nurturer), partly because of an ISFJ mom, but this is me. It's just that Fis may feel that being "authentic" (lack of a better term) or showing emotional honesty is more helpful and beneficial to someone when building relationships. It has nothing to do with not caring about people or how they feel. I'd say, it's just the opposite. We simply show caring differently.
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I didn't say that Fi doesn't care about other people, but that Fe nearly always does. Fi, by definition, feels for the self, so you're more likely to see slip-ups there with hurting other people's feelings. The natural tendency is to look out for one's own feelings, whereas that of Fe is to look out for other people, as a reflex reaction.

I think...
 
subwayrider said:
I didn't say that Fi doesn't care about other people, but that Fe nearly always does. Fi, by definition, feels for the self, so you're more likely to see slip-ups there with hurting other people's feelings. The natural tendency is to look out for one's own feelings, whereas that of Fe is to look out for other people, as a reflex reaction.

I think...
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I think you are still misunderstanding the differences between Fe and Fi. You're essentially saying Fi is naturally selfish and doesn't care about other people's feelings and that Fe is naturally considerate of other people's feelings and that's not true. Caring about group harmony is not necessarily always based on selfless motives or positive motivations. Do not confuse function habits or behaviors with motivation.
 
I have an example at my work place that may help with Fe and Fi. There is a coworker of mine that is probably an infp, so she has dominant introverted feeling. We are very similar and have a lot in common which makes sense because we are in the same temperament. We are both creative, share similar political views, and will talk about all sorts of topics. What I love about her is that she is unshakable in her views. If she is willing to confide in you and you ask her viewpoint, she will tell it to you, and rarley waivers. She has a strong sense of right and wrong and good and evil. She's an admirerer of compromises, but people should be authentic in their compromises so she knows where they stand. This I believe is so the compromise is genuine and therefore legitimate in her eyes. She also feels very strongly about what her duties are. If you ask her to do something outside her regular duties she may become uncooperative or try to avoid the request and I can just tell she becomes a whirlwind of emotion inside, like she struggling with what to do. She rarely will stay over her shift to help with short staffing issues.

One time I went to work and was extremely ill, I tried to finish my shift, but I couldn't. I pleaded with her to stay for me. Because we are friends I thought she would stay for me, but she would not. She had to go home to attend to her twelve year old son's after school needs. She has a husband at home so she could have stayed and her son would've been fine. I thought she was acting very selfish. But, then a couple of nights later our night shift person called in sick, so I was calling around for people to come in and help cover and she volunteered right away. I believe she was trying to make up for not staying for me; she probably felt bad about it. It was then I realized that her family is her life and she will defend her time with them more than most people I know. She also defends her son in school against injustices quite regularly and its not like how most parents would defend their kids to get into sports or to argue over a progress report, she will argue to make sure her son is getting treated fairly and equally with the other children because he is often not. Her family and her values are first. That takes courage and she shows it everyday. It also goes hand-in-hand with what infps are partly known for; their ability to stand up and fight ceaselessly for those closest to them. So her family came first, even if it seemed illogical to me that day, and then our friendship came next, once she had her family all taken care of. She can appear selfish, but she obviously is not. Now I realize that this is also a motherly trait, but please don't interpret in only this light because I work with many mothers and one has three children and will always go above and beyond for our work, sometimes against the best interest of her family. So in this case, I feel it is a personality thing.

Now I can also be selfish with my family time too, but being at work, not calling in sick, covering for people that can't make it in, doing extra tasks, is very much what I'm about and it will often chip away some of my family time. Even if I'm terribly sick, and my wife has to beg me to call in, I still usually won't. This is because of my extroverted feeling. I can't stomach the thought of letting other people down, not pulling my weight. I will juggle many tasks at once if people ask me to. The problem with this is that I often take on too much work to please others and it usually ends up becoming way too much in the end, but I can't seem to help it. Usually it is because I don't know how I feel about things people ask me to do until much later and then I have some regret when the work starts to stretch me thin. So I can appear selfless, but I am not. I'm selfish for an image of myself around others. I also modify my opinions slightly enough so I can have conversations with people from all walks of life and not cause any conflicts. I tend to be left of center, sometimes evenly solidly left, but when I'm around conservatives I usually find myself sounding more conservative and when around liberals I will sound very much like one of them. So to an introverted feeler, I would come across as totally inauthentic, even though I'm just trying not to alienate people around me so we can get along.

So introverted feelers can appear selfish and extroverted feelers can appear inauthentic, but that is too simple an explanation; it is only how they may sometimes appear to certain personality types.
 
One distinction I read once is that Js want to move from first date to married and get the decision over with, while Ps linger forever over the issue, and keep it open far longer. That may be in Lenore Thomsen's book somewhere. She claims that as a result the Js actually often judge quite badly. She was writing about the INTJs specifically, and saying that they make mistakes because they jump to conclusions (particularly when it comes to romance). It may be Kiersey that said this, though.

In one of Kiersey's books he says the INFJ and the INFP forever wonder about their type. So, I think that Wonkavision is one of these two. I don't get the Sensor thing at all from him. I think his endless curiosity (he said he's read lots and taken ZILLIONS of tests I think is how he put it) reveals that he is one of these two types. Other people just take one test and it's settled. Could this very leaving the thing open for so long point to INFJ and/or INFP and especially to P? I think Js want to arrive at a settled decision (in every area) more rapidly.

That said, I also move back and forth between INFP and INFJ. I have never found a definitive line between these two types. Thomsen says the INFJ appears to be extroverted. I do. I'm even popular. I just can't stand anybody much. I really like a few people. But most people I wish I could put on a shuttle to Mars, so that I wouldn't have to fight them in the line at the grocery store.

I wonder if posture is any indication, though, too. Bad posture is a sign of a P. Good posture is a sign of a J. I just made that up. But I think it might be right. P means you're cool with whatever posture. J wants a correct posture. But then what if you are correct in some areas (grammar, accounting, paying bills) but bad in another (you're also a serial killer).

These are problemz.
 
problemz said:
One distinction I read once is that Js want to move from first date to married and get the decision over with, while Ps linger forever over the issue, and keep it open far longer.
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lol, that may be true. I can't speak for the Ps, but my wife and I both wanted to get married early.

problems said:
says the INFJ and the INFP forever wonder about their type. So, I think that Wonkavision is one of these two. I don't get the Sensor thing at all from him. I
I wonder if posture is any indication, though, too. Bad posture is a sign of a P. Good posture is a sign of a J. I just made that up. But I think it might be right. P means you're cool with whatever posture. J wants a correct posture.
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Some people say I have good posture, but I don't know; sometimes my back will hurt from not sitting properly. I don't think I pay much attention to my body like I should. I've read that INFJs can feel disconnected from their bodies at times. I can feel that way at times too, which may be why I sometimes don't notice the state of my body.
 
INFP => P
INFJ => J

P, life in the present (Carpen Diem)
J, seek to know the past to figure out the future (Temporary statisfaction is crap over better future)

P, left wing politic
J, right wing politic

P, Love is to be shared and lived (present) => many boyfriends
J, Seek the perfect love (Future) => one boyfriend
 
[MENTION=1669]Cedar[/MENTION] Technically speaking, Fi is selfish. Sort of. Just not in the way of judging a person as being selfish. However, [MENTION=4717]subwayrider[/MENTION] Fe is not always caring of others. Half of this forum are Fe types that could not give a rat's ass about most people.

I find that INFPs are generally more caring about people in general and INFJs are more caring about specific people. It is about trust and respect. Fi types place trust and respect on their own values. It does not mean that they only think of themselves. It just means that they make decisions based on the trust and respect for their own feelings. Though externally the INFP seems very P-ish. Internally they have a deep organization structure for their feelings and values, and how they interact with the world according to them. They will almost never compromise a value for someone else, unless they have a conflicting internal value that says so. For example, an INFP buddy of mine has a value for work ethic. However, he has a stronger value for helping others. He wastes half of his day helping others far more than he should, then is stressed at the end of the day for not having his own work done. So he will work on his own time.

Fe places trust and respect externally. Fe types may end up compromising their own principles for the sake of another, usually without understanding why (which leads to self-arguing/self-loathing later). Keep in mind I'm simplifying here, but Fe will essentially weigh decisions based on who they trust, love, respect more (not consciously). For example, my boss has an old-fashioned view on work (you start at 9 and work work work not until 4:58, but until 5pm) and I was dating a girl that frequently asked me to take longer lunches with her or to leave to help her with things and what not. This created a lot of stress for me due to respect for my boss and my love for the girl (which she won most of the time).

Those with Fe who can resist this, have either learned to develop their Ti or rule their selves with a rigid iron fist. (imposing very rigid and overly generalized rules of thumb to follow).

Fe types still care about people in general, however, they tend to do less for people they don't care about, but will do everything in their power to help someone they really care about. **Depending on situation.

I find that Fi types are willing to do a lot more to help people in general (as long as it does not conflict with another value). A good example is between my INFP buddy and his ISFJ wife. She is in a position of management. One of her employees told her that she was depressed and suicidal. On a couple of occasions, she told this employee that she is willing to help in any way she can. The employee refused to do anything about it and continued to do a poor job at work and making very bad decisions. Finally my buddy's wife told this employee to essentially seek help or leave. In typical Fi fashion, he flipped his lid immediately when he heard what she did. Believing that she should have done more, up to and including walking the employee into the hospital herself.

Another contrast I've noticed is that Fe types are more willing to do the little things that they are asked/told to do by the people they care about (without question) and Fi types are more willing to tell them to do it themselves or to do it, but make a stink about it.

NOTE: Not all Fe or Fi types will make the same decisions I've observed above. Everyone is unique and has their own set of values. My intention was to attempt to convey the underlying flow of Fe/Fi.
 
From a negative standpoint... a negative INFP is more likely to be judgmental in broad-sweeping ways (judge character) and a negative INFJ is more likely to be critical in very nit-picky ways (judge actions).

INFPs can more easily portray one emotion while feeling another. For example, they can show happy even though they feel sad or angry. INFJs will either show the emotion they feel or reveal none.

INFPs are more actively curious/inquisitive. INFJs are more passively curious/contemplative.
 
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