Underdeveloped / immature INFJs

[Crow]

Knowing is of little use in the physical world.
What one uses the knowing for, may be of practical use.

Knowing has value - as is - on the spiritual plane.
Its practical application is its real value here and now.

 

[sumone]

They'd look like they need a hug.

When I first read that I said, "awww" and my heart warmed, but come to think of it, I really wonder if young INFJ's look like they need hugs.

When I first read the INFJ description I saw that we don't always know how we appear to others. I had an aha moment because my biggest angst growing up was that I never seemed to get what I needed from others, randomly and without words.

Like I would feel sad and didn't even wonder if I looked sad but people would say, "Why are you so mad?" or accuse me of pouting. Then I would get mad and pout because of my frustration. On the inside all I had wanted was for someone to see my sadness and just give me a hug or a pat and tell me everything will be all right.

I did it so easily for others and was loved for it and wondered why people either wouldn't or couldn't do it for me. Now I see it probably wasn't so much their fault as it was some sort of strange thing where my face didn't match my feelings ??? That is pretty weird isn't it?

 

[Raccoon Love]

When I first read that I said, "awww" and my heart warmed, but come to think of it, I really wonder if young INFJ's look like they need hugs.

When I first read the INFJ description I saw that we don't always know how we appear to others. I had an aha moment because my biggest angst growing up was that I never seemed to get what I needed from others, randomly and without words.

Like I would feel sad and didn't even wonder if I looked sad but people would say, "Why are you so mad?" or accuse me of pouting. Then I would get mad and pout because of my frustration. On the inside all I had wanted was for someone to see my sadness and just give me a hug or a pat and tell me everything will be all right.

I did it so easily for others and was loved for it and wondered why people either wouldn't or couldn't do it for me. Now I see it probably wasn't so much their fault as it was some sort of strange thing where my face didn't match my feelings ??? That is pretty weird isn't it?

sounds a lot like my case right now xD..

 

[Orion]

Yeah, I look cold and mean on the outside. But that means the wrong people won't try to step the line with me, even if it means the right people won't either.

 

[sumone]

 

[Orion]

I said cold and mean, not gross and obnoxious!

 

[Trifoilum]

O-Ouch. XD; Ouch. But correct judgement.

Yeah, I look cold and mean on the outside. But that means the wrong people won't try to step the line with me, even if it means the right people won't either.

: | me too, kinda doing that atm, and moreso when I was younger. It's almost sad, that I resort to that --or even becoming a hermit-- just to afraid getting hurt --when there's no certainity and the fear left is just the fear of escaping--
But I still keep doing that. Ahaha. You learn, I guess.

sounds a lot like my case right now xD..

The same as mine.

Knowing is of little use in the physical world.
What one uses the knowing for, may be of practical use.

Knowing has value - as is - on the spiritual plane.
Its practical application is its real value here and now.

You're correct, in this context. It depends on each person's courage and responsibility and judgement, I guess, to drag a certain amount of that insights to use.

Too much being practical would be pessimistic, cynic, while too much lost in the head would be... lost.

Balance.

 

[Gaze]

Like I would feel sad and didn't even wonder if I looked sad but people would say, "Why are you so mad?" or accuse me of pouting. Then I would get mad and pout because of my frustration. On the inside all I had wanted was for someone to see my sadness and just give me a hug or a pat and tell me everything will be all right.

I did it so easily for others and was loved for it and wondered why people either wouldn't or couldn't do it for me. Now I see it probably wasn't so much their fault as it was some sort of strange thing where my face didn't match my feelings ??? That is pretty weird isn't it?

No, it isn't. I fel the same way. I had that problem where someone would always think something is wrong or assume i was sad, because i wasn't expressive.

 

[Crow]

I had that problem where someone would always think something is wrong or assume i was sad, because i wasn't expressive.

I have noticed this.
Long ago I decided old people were so full of lines and wrinkles because they were always contorting their faces to signify their reactions.
I became very unemotive as a result.
My often unreadable face really worries some people.

Now I am old, and I have lines and wrinkles anyway.
You can't win.

 

[enfp can be shy]

avoidant, cynical, distrustful, boastful, provocative, hyper-sensitive, elitist, over-protective, lustful, angry, impatient, over-critical, self-defeating, martyrs, accusing, resentful, envious, vain, manipulative, narcissistic, hasty, stubborn, vigilant, paranoid about endless conspiracies, preoccupied, reading tons of non-applicable literature, repeating and re-emphasizing the same things, gossiping, tactless, hurting people's weakest spots, know-it-alls, unruly, shameless, heretic, scandalous, inspiring followers to try impossible missions, playing the victim, irrational, unstable, not sleeping, not resting, requiring the same unhealthy practices of others, idealistically supporting tyrants, idealistically rebelling, dismissing other opinions, dismissing people who aren't well-read, naive, using ad hominem, quick to love and hate things, old fashioned, odd fashioned, strong bias towards those they care about, favouritism, inefficient spending - either too conservative, or too liberal, unable to take criticism well, gullible to praise and acclaim, not very body conscious, often in trouble with the physical world, accident-prone, expecting too much of others, over-valuing someone's potential, nitpicking, procrastinating, daydreaming, pessimistic

and the worst of all: irresistible

one just wants to smack them {}

 

[midnightmelody]

My INFJ problems:

Ni: all the possibilities in the world. A million things to worry about
Fe: Because you are your brother's keeper (although this isn't that stressful). The thing that bothers me most about Fe is those days where I don't feel like faking a smile.
Fi: I think I have real issues with this function. I never ever feel like a good person. I cannot accept my flaws. I'm getting closer, but it's very very difficult for me.

 

[Milon]

I have noticed this.
Long ago I decided old people were so full of lines and wrinkles because they were always contorting their faces to signify their reactions.
I became very unemotive as a result.
My often unreadable face really worries some people.

Now I am old, and I have lines and wrinkles anyway.
You can't win.

:lol:
In that case, I choose to have laugh-lines!

Fi: I think I have real issues with this function. I never ever feel like a good person. I cannot accept my flaws. I'm getting closer, but it's very very difficult for me.

Wait, that's a Fi thing? Darn, that explains a lot then! I have that problem too!

 

[midnightmelody]

:lol:
In that case, I choose to have laugh-lines!



Wait, that's a Fi thing? Darn, that explains a lot then! I have that problem too!

Well it could easily be a combo of things, but Fi is concerned with valuing things and checking to see if their actions are congruent with their values.

Something inside of me wants to be perfect

and voila. Instant complex. Woot!

 

[Trifoilum]

I just noticed this while typing a reply for the Doorslam topic, but do immature and underdeveloped INFJs tend to doorslam a lot?

Not mini-doorslams, but major, "outta my life" doorslams.

Just got a hunch, because doorslams are INFJ's ultimate weapon..

 

[Julia]

Perhaps it could be seen in having more certitude than is warranted towards an idea, and difficulty regulating emotional responses. Sometimes those things can serve a purpose during a stage of life. Greater certitude can imply less details and layers in one's conception of the world, which is a way to ease into an understanding of reality. There can also be a wisdom in not over-complicating things and having a direct authenticity of feeling and being. Age-appropriate thinking and behavior is just a natural part of life, and so I'll add that the negative connotation of "immature" is dependent on context. I think it is a good thing for a child to be a child, or an adolescent and adolescent just like an apple blossom is a good thing even though it later becomes an apple.

 

[soulseeker]

I just noticed this while typing a reply for the Doorslam topic, but do immature and underdeveloped INFJs tend to doorslam a lot?

Not mini-doorslams, but major, "outta my life" doorslams.

Just got a hunch, because doorslams are INFJ's ultimate weapon..

then maybe i am still a half immature INFJ!?!?!....

I don't even get myself! sometimes I'm too mushy and all that and I always smile and everything and other times... I hate people.. i just want to be alone

I don't know if I'm good or bad... I am insensitive and sensitive...

 

[yumiii]

Gasp. I guess I'm an immature INFJ.

I'll try to change my attitude from now on.

 

[Trifoilum]

avoidant, cynical, distrustful, boastful, provocative, hyper-sensitive, elitist, over-protective, lustful, angry, impatient, over-critical, self-defeating, martyrs, accusing, resentful, envious, vain, manipulative, narcissistic, hasty, stubborn, vigilant, paranoid about endless conspiracies, preoccupied, reading tons of non-applicable literature, repeating and re-emphasizing the same things, gossiping, tactless, hurting people's weakest spots, know-it-alls, unruly, shameless, heretic, scandalous, inspiring followers to try impossible missions, playing the victim, irrational, unstable, not sleeping, not resting, requiring the same unhealthy practices of others, idealistically supporting tyrants, idealistically rebelling, dismissing other opinions, dismissing people who aren't well-read, naive, using ad hominem, quick to love and hate things, old fashioned, odd fashioned, strong bias towards those they care about, favouritism, inefficient spending - either too conservative, or too liberal, unable to take criticism well, gullible to praise and acclaim, not very body conscious, often in trouble with the physical world, accident-prone, expecting too much of others, over-valuing someone's potential, nitpicking, procrastinating, daydreaming, pessimistic

WOW. just wow. XD And the adjectives--and the adjectives! I'm totally in awe and in shame reading that part-- so much fits with me objectively (not even counting my own opinion YET).

From what I'm reading, I think it's basically the same as what people had said before; overtly idealistic, not putting thoughts into action, full of self-righteous hatred, and not putting an ounce of cognitive / rational thought onto that intuitive of ours?

Perhaps it could be seen in having more certitude than is warranted towards an idea, and difficulty regulating emotional responses. Sometimes those things can serve a purpose during a stage of life. Greater certitude can imply less details and layers in one's conception of the world, which is a way to ease into an understanding of reality. There can also be a wisdom in not over-complicating things and having a direct authenticity of feeling and being. Age-appropriate thinking and behavior is just a natural part of life, and so I'll add that the negative connotation of "immature" is dependent on context. I think it is a good thing for a child to be a child, or an adolescent and adolescent just like an apple blossom is a good thing even though it later becomes an apple.

Ah, indeed. But that'd only work to a point ? No matter how young someone is, there'd be a trait, a personality part of them, that would be annoying, bad, and harmful to himself or others. Lack of experience and understanding, while related, wouldn't mean the same as an underdeveloped, or worse, a badly developed INFJ. At least that's what I thought...


I....reading all this, I think I'm still an immature person myself. :| gotta learn.

 

[SweetDreams]

Overly indignant self righteousness based on their ideals which they can't actually put into action or a shallow pondering on deep issues that don't have the facility to put into motion, so too much perception with insufficient judgement.

Wait... I'm just describing myself when I was 14... :suspicious:

Wow-that sounds a lot like me...

 

[Trifoilum]

/shamelessly necromancing thread

just a thought, it's just I'm wondering....

it all began when I realized that my Fe / Se, when combined / riding together with my Ni, is still very, very underdeveloped. When I have something going inside my head AND trying to explain it, it feels like..I'm shaking, and both stuttering and chirpy, and saying/admitting things I could live better without. And they do not understand such thing called TPO. >_>; And Se.....it doesn't able to live to the Ni's expectations. "THIS is what you did? I was thinking of THIS, you nuts."

They usually worked with Ti, surprisingly, but sometimes it don't look good; Fe becomes meek, empty, 'calculated' politeness, and Se becomes......empty works.

I began to wonder if it's simply emotional problem or perhaps, shadow mode in work, but nah, the more it stays, the more it told me that nyeh, I'm simply immature. Does this happen to anyone except me? I'm a little bit scared here...