Understanding infjs

latch said:
My intuition is a like a familiarity with things that haven't happened yet. Me and that future event are old friends.
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And small predictions become inside jokes. I always have a laugh when I can say what someone else is going to say before they say it.
 
Soff78 said:
In that situation, how would you like for it to play out? When you're being pushed.
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When I'm pushed to share more of myself than I'm ready too? Space. Don't try to wedge yourself in a place where you're not welcome. Don't invade someone's privacy. Not just for the INFJ, but for anyone.
 
Soff78 said:
In that situation, how would you like for it to play out? When you're being pushed.
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I would withdraw from the situation if I felt I were being pushed into something I'm not ready for, and I'd seriously reconsider my level of interest/desire for future interactions.

What I think you have as your advantage is that the Infj personality truly wants to connect with people, understand people, and ultimately feel understood by others. However, we can struggle with our own sense of self, so being asked by others to explain ourselves can feel daunting or intrusive, especially if they don't have the patience for it.

If you want to connect with an INFJ (or really any person), don't talk about the weather, talk about your own interests, and then ask them about theirs. Give them space to voice their perspective, and as an introvert, space to recharge if they are stressed. Once we get talking about a subject were interested in and feel you will be responsible with our emotions and thoughts, there's almost no stopping us.
 
It's so hard for me to really understand infj type. It seems like it's not really consistent and hard to figure out what's going on due to lack of them opening up. It's not that I'm constantly pushing for answers but just getting to know them is kinda hard. It's never a direct answer but of the topic itself. For example:

Me: do you want to go to the movies?
Infj: how much is the ticket?

Is that a yes, ure interested in going or u just wanna talk about movie ticket prices.

But even when having a regular textimg convo, some things get left unanswered/ignored. And then I don't wanna ask again cus they obviously didn't answer for a reason but I asked bc I wanna know so...???
 
Soff78 said:
So I've been doing some reading, on and off the forums, trying to figure out this relationship i have with an infj. It's like some infjs are this or that and although some share similar qualities, it's hard to understand someone. Aside from just talking to that person, what's the best way to understand y'all?

For example, it's common for an infj to not text so much but can also text consistently. Yet some texting is flirty and friendly whereas others are kinda cold and less engaging. Reading about the reasons behind these actions are also inconsistent. I really want to try to understand the actions and behavior without being too overwhelming so I don't push them but what I read doesn't really help much.
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Yeah, there are many stripes of INFJs. If we're 1% of the population, this still makes 75 million of us on Earth. Like the whole of France populated by INFJs (strange thought! Imagine Paris with only INFJs in it) - We can't be all the same ;)

I sincerely think many of the answers to your questions are in the function stack of the INFJ. (Ni-Fe-Ti-Se). It's a stack with many potential paradoxes hiding within it.
 
Ren said:
It's a stack with many potential paradoxes hiding within it.
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Actually, I think it is pretty straightforward. But then again, I am the one that knows what's going on inside my head (most of the time) and thus am not the first to notice when I have skipped to utter the part of the thinking process which leaves everyone dumbfounded.
 
Ren said:
Yeah, there are many stripes of INFJs. If we're 1% of the population, this still makes 75 million of us on Earth. Like the whole of France populated by INFJs (strange thought! Imagine Paris with only INFJs in it) - We can't be all the same ;)
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Yes, imagine that. 75 million INFJs all trying to add love lockets to the Pont des Arts. :tearsofjoy:
 
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Ginny said:
Actually, I think it is pretty straightforward. But then again, I am the one that knows what's going on inside my head (most of the time) and thus am not the first to notice when I have skipped to utter the part of the thinking process which leaves everyone dumbfounded.
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I think the stack itself is pretty straightforward, once one has understood all the functions properly. But I feel like its implications in the real life of INFJs can be paradoxical, or at least conflicted. Let me use my own example: I want to spend most of my time in my own head (Ni) but I really need people or after a while I feel down (Fe). Besides, I am goal oriented (Ni + J) but alas, I achieve my goals with Fe, not Te. But let's remember that although I achieve my goals with Fe, I do want to be mostly on my own! Oh no, what a life!

This is what I meant. ;)
 
Soff78 said:
Me: do you want to go to the movies?
Infj: how much is the ticket?

Is that a yes, ure interested in going or u just wanna talk about movie ticket prices.

But even when having a regular textimg convo, some things get left unanswered/ignored. And then I don't wanna ask again cus they obviously didn't answer for a reason but I asked bc I wanna know so...???
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This is all general advice, but...

If it's not a straight, "Yes, I am!" to going out, it may be a deflection, but they feel bad for outrightly rejecting. Of course, they may also be genuinely concerned about the price. In any case, there is clearly hesitation. A great answer for me in every situation would be something along the lines of "It's okay if you can't make it. We can hang out some other time!" (which is nice because I usually don't feel like seeing anyone for a whole week.)

If you asked something personal because you wanted to know, but they avoid answering it, leave it alone.
 
Ren said:
I sincerely think many of the answers to your questions are in the function stack of the INFJ. (Ni-Fe-Ti-Se)
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I agree with Ren. Soff78, your profile lists your type as enfp, so I think differences in the enfp (Ne-Fi-Te-Si) and infj (Ni-Fe-Ti-Se) function stacks could be causing frustration.

With the movie ticket example, I see a difference in the Ti/Te functions, that is introverted thinking vs. extroverted thinking. The best description I've heard for these functions is whether you see all information as actionable (Te), or whether you see information is just another data point used in making a decision (Ti). So while the Infj is concerned with ticket price as a data point, you're struggling to understand the action required to respond to the information provided.
 
Soff78 said:
Yet some texting is flirty and friendly whereas others are kinda cold and less engaging.
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It is really difficult to understand INFJ since we can be a personality chameleon. We only show our true selves to the people we trust, which are not many. We are cold to the people we find fake. We're highly sensitive, so within minutes we already figure you out.

If you really want to connect to the INFJ person, be sincere. Also, don't ask us superficial questions like "How are you?". Even though you mean well, we take it as redundant.

Ok, I'm digressing.

Main point is, it is difficult to understand INFJ. We're commonly mistaken for INFP too, among other things. If you have any specific scene or question, we can help to explain further.
 
CleverKate said:
I agree with Ren. Soff78, your profile lists your type as enfp, so I think differences in the enfp (Ne-Fi-Te-Si) and infj (Ni-Fe-Ti-Se) function stacks could be causing frustration.

With the movie ticket example, I see a difference in the Ti/Te functions, that is introverted thinking vs. extroverted thinking. The best description I've heard for these functions is whether you see all information as actionable (Te), or whether you see information is just another data point used in making a decision (Ti). So while the Infj is concerned with ticket price as a data point, you're struggling to understand the action required to respond to the information provided.
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Could you explain the function stacks??


When y'all go on ur "alone time," why is it normal to not respond for a long period of time instead of saying "I'm busy"?
 
Rin said:
It is really difficult to understand INFJ since we can be a personality chameleon. We only show our true selves to the people we trust, which are not many. We are cold to the people we find fake. We're highly sensitive, so within minutes we already figure you out.

If you really want to connect to the INFJ person, be sincere. Also, don't ask us superficial questions like "How are you?". Even though you mean well, we take it as redundant.

Ok, I'm digressing.

Main point is, it is difficult to understand INFJ. We're commonly mistaken for INFP too, among other things. If you have any specific scene or question, we can help to explain further.
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Sometimes I feel like being me gets annoying if the infj isn't responding like they used to or I get an "off" feeling which can seem like I'm being fake but I'm just holding back.
 
heiots said:
This is all general advice, but...

If it's not a straight, "Yes, I am!" to going out, it may be a deflection, but they feel bad for outrightly rejecting. Of course, they may also be genuinely concerned about the price. In any case, there is clearly hesitation. A great answer for me in every situation would be something along the lines of "It's okay if you can't make it. We can hang out some other time!" (which is nice because I usually don't feel like seeing anyone for a whole week.)

If you asked something personal because you wanted to know, but they avoid answering it, leave it alone.
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A "no" would be fine but why not just say it instead?
 
Ginny said:
First: Reasons.
Second: It mightn't have been a "no".
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So instead of explaining what the reasons might be or basically your thoughts, u leave it hanging? Cause that q was asked over a week ago and still no definite answer or explanation

It wasn't exactly a movie q. It was for an event at a future date

#
 
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