Wow. This is making me like the whole INFJ thing. I didn't want to be an INFJ for years after I found out I was one. For some reason it was hard for me to accept, and I think what you are talking about here is partly the reason I didn't want to believe these things about myself, and also the reason it's so refreshing, now that I have accepted the INFJ that I am, to know there are others out there.
I get the same reaction. I think it has to do with the way I see myself as well as people and the way I react. I see myself as neither below or above, Well I guess I have some insecurities so that is present, but generally I see people all as equal.
So. I was brushing my teeth a few minutes ago, and randomly thinking back to what it was most that irked me about the military. What thing it was that I absolutely could never abide. I realized it was the rank structure. And I don't mean that I have an authority issue. I actually do not at all. But it's this concept of people being unequal that offends me very deeply. I can't take it. So I couldn't do it, and this became a real problem for me. Not professionally, but personally. I also could never find any gratification in being in a position of authority, while most of my peers did. In fact, it was a blow to me in most cases. It really was something I couldn't deal with. Not totally where you were going with this, but something that is relevant to me right this moment...
When I speak to someone I speak to them and it is personal. It has got me into situations that throw me off guard. I guess that eye to eye contact and talking to the person within translates to other things. I cannot tell you how many times that has lead others to believe that I like them in a romantic sense when interacting with the opposite sex. I guess for some, mostly narcissistic, a "hi" translates to "I am into you" which I get creeped out about.
Yup. I think we might really look people in the eye and actually listen. I also can really see into people. When I do this, I feel this sensation like my eyes are lit up. Is this crazy??? Sometimes it's too much for me, I feel vulnerable, and I have to look away. It's like trying to look directly into the sun... However, most of the time I enjoy it. But it has very often caused men to think I am into them, like you said, and IT CREEPS ME OUT like it does you. I think because with these types, the reaction is so forward, and that is a real turn-off to me. I thought this would stop when I got married, but it didn't. I was deployed to Iraq and a fellow officer decided that I wanted him. He pulled me aside and told me he saw how I looked at him, and yes, he would be interested in having a "thing" with me. Yuck. He was married with kids the same age as mine. So this has often led to not-so-awesome experiences. And no, [MENTION=731]UBERROGO[/MENTION], I am not a supermodel. I swear. I'll send you a pic if you don't believe me. It's the eye gaze. I really believe it now.
I have been told that it is my fault for treating everyone I encounter as a human and interact in a kind way. I know I can't and do not want to change the way I see people as well as myself so that isn't going to change. I refuse to not engage in basic conversation for fear of others latching on. I see that sought of delusion without factual evidence based on what their egos want them to believe is their problem and not mine.
My husband gets really annoyed at me about this, and says it's my fault when people latch on like you are talking about. He says I know what I am doing. But I don't know how to not do this. Like you said, are we just supposed to not engage in conversations? Or to be distant and aloof? This isn't me, and I would think I was hurting everyone's feelings all of the time, and I would get depressed. Sometimes I actually get annoyed with people when they find out I am, actually, not their best friend, and they are upset with me and themselves. My husband, again, says it's my fault, and that people end up not even upset with me, but only at themselves for believing this, they are embarrassed, etc. But, as you said, this is their problem, not mine, because they are allowing themselves to believe something that I have given no indication of except in body language. I seriously am the worst friend to my very best friends. They always have to pursue me, be the first to call, etc. But they understand and accept me... Others, for some reason, must find this appealing? I have no idea, but shouldn't it communicate the opposite of me being their BFF?
Now I sound cold. I'm not. These are just the dark thoughts that I am actually ashamed of, but can open up about on this board. I am starting to really not like myself when I see it all in print.
