What are signs that an INFJ girl wants to be more than friends?

[Sinistrad]

Basically, you will have to just ask her. You will need to offer yourself as an option, in a way. There should be no pressure to accept, and it should be made clear that things will only change is SHE wants them to. This is extremely dangerous relationship territory. Also, keep your cool cause she will probably throw a few curves at you. It is what INFJ's do, the same way INTJ's analyze information mechanically.

As a side note, though, judging by what you have told us, she does seem to be into you, so your chances look promising. Good luck.

 

[acd]

If you put butterflies in a jar with fireflies, would they fight or hurt each other? It would sort of negate the sentiment, but it might be pretty.

Would I be a weirdo if I told you I've done similiar experiments with other bugs? I don't think they'd fight. I think they'd just fly frantically into one another and step all over each others faces on accident.

How about a t shirt instead?
http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shi...st-dialectic-brings-all-the-boys-to-the-yard/

Ok, Maybe I'm the only one who wants this shirt. But I have too many shirts that say stuff on them.

I've actually seen this shirt.. and the picture as well.. It's one of my faves!! I want it, too.

 

[yepunsarang]

The fine line between such a deep friendship between two people and love is something extremely difficult to distinguish. Of course, it is easier to tell if the friendship were just "good" and "comforting." But sometime, those friendships that seem to mean a friendship in the deepest form---understanding one another---the line seems to get more difficult to define.

After all, I see it as no matter what your gender is, if you entirely love a friend, you love their soul. I'm sure you love this girl's soul that is deeper than the boundaries of non-platonic love and friendship. Although I can't say she's totally "in love" with you in that attracted way, I think she may really love you for who you are. Of course, when that happens and the other person happens to be of the other sex, it's likely to start liking the person...and i'd say, a much higher chance of loving them.

It's not everyday you meet someone like that, so it's perfectly normal that you're falling for her. I get the feeling that she's falling for you too...!! I think the best love of all that exists in this world, is one where you love both platonically and romantically (if that makes any sense). That means you love that person 100%.

 

[INTJ Guy]

Well, thank you all for your feedback. I forgot to add that there was one thing holding me back from just asking. She told me she had a boyfriend after this one time we were hanging out, while we were waiting for our trains to arrive (we catch different trains home), but that he was studying at a university in another city, because he didn't like the courses on offer here or whatever, so they had a long distance relationship. We continued hanging out as normal, but I was careful not to cross any boundaries because moving in on someone else's girl isn't what I do.

But, anyway, some bad shit happened between the two of them a few months later and she told me that their relationship was on the rocks, or something along those lines. But, anyway, she hated her course so she got a transfer to another university, but on another side of the city, so we didn't see each other as often as before, but we always chat via txt messaging or MSN late into the night, and we went out to dinner, and movies, and other things (they seemed like dates to me, but I could be wrong).

Also, after the day she told me about the problems her and her boyfriend were having I never heard about him again. Like, EVER! She never mentions him anymore. If she was interested in a relationship, wouldn't she have said something like, "Oh, me and Kdjhgr broke up, so I'm available now..." or something? Sorry I can't be more specific about things, INTJ paranoia is kicking in, she could be reading this for all we know.

I think she even jokingly called herself my girlfriend once, but I didn't hear her clearly because we were out on a busy street where there was a traffic jam and idiots in cars were blasting their horns at each other. Why couldn't they just shut up?!

Looking back on my relationship history I ALWAYS fall for, and enter relationships with, N chicks. Perhaps it's because they're goofy and expressive, and comfortable with it at the same time, which I always find attractive. I'm glad I'm an N too, and I'm not knocking the Sensors here. I've just yet to find a Sensor who would be interested in me in that kind of way. Most of the ones I've met usually consider me to be too eccentric to be taken seriously.

 

[acd]

Make your move man!! How much more obvious could it be?? Besides, if she turns you down it's not like you're going to die.. you'll get over her and meet someone else if that were to happen.

 

[INTJ Guy]

I'm waiting for her to tell me that she's single. I've got ethics, ya know? I can't move in on another guy's girl, no matter how much I like her.

 

[Bored Now]

Why don't you ask her if she's single or not instead of waiting for her to tell you? ::bossy::

 

[Silently Honest]

Don't fucking blow it man!

Seriously you put yourself out there, not just for you, but for bros everywhere!

 

[INTJ Guy]

I don't want to be obvious. There's only one reason you ever ask if someone's single, so she'll pick up on that quick.

Also, it's not like I can say something like "Hey, you haven't told me about Kdjhgr lately. How's he doing?" because I never used to ask about him, so she'd know something was up.

 

[INTJ Guy]

Don't fucking blow it man!

Seriously you put yourself out there, not just for you, but for bros everywhere!

Oh, trust me man, I'm being as meticulous as I can, for the bros of course.

 

[Bored Now]

Just saying, I'm usually oblivious about people having a crush on me. I thought that was an infj girl trait...

 

[INTJ Guy]

Just saying, I'm usually oblivious about people having a crush on me. I thought that was an infj girl trait...

Well, if this INFJ girl I like is truly oblivious, it'll be a bit of a shock to learn of my true feelings. Is that how you'd feel?

 

[mayflow]

I'm waiting for her to tell me that she's single. I've got ethics, ya know? I can't move in on another guy's girl, no matter how much I like her.

OK, Here is what I think. You are into her more than se is into you. She is more into this other guy than she is into you, but you are a safe friend for her to come to when things between her and that other guy go on the rocks. Me? I would drop this and focus on the inner you and your connections with your Anima, your subconscious, and the inner motivations that make you want this girl. That doesn't mean you can't still like here and or even fantasize and be motivated by your desires for her, at all though.

 

[INTJ Guy]

OK, Here is what I think. You are into her more than se is into you. She is more into this other guy than she is into you, but you are a safe friend for her to come to when things between her and that other guy go on the rocks. Me? I would drop this and focus on the inner you and your connections with your Anima, your subconscious, and the inner motivations that make you want this girl. That doesn't mean you can't still like here and or even fantasize and be motivated by your desires for her, at all though.

Well, I know I'll be able to live without her, and possibly turn her into a safe chick friend. I can usually do that easily, once I meet someone new. I'm at university, there are plenty of girls there, who I'll be sure not to fall into the damned friend zone with, like I did with this INFJ chick.

I KNOW what makes me want this girl, though, I've thought about it a lot. There's like, an aura, between us, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that. We're so alike, and we both "get" each other, and we have our own inside jokes as well. Oh, and she's damn good-looking too. I'm not exactly a "nice guy," or a "pushover" either. She knows that my academic life comes before anything social, as I usually stay at home to work on assignments that are due the next day instead of meeting her at the clubs, or something.

If she's still with this guy, although she hasn't mentioned him since that day I mentioned before, I wouldn't have a problem with that, because I'd find another girl to focus my attention on. Then we could all go on a double date (arranged by me, of course, it'd be great to observe the vibes and shit). I'd never lead on another girl just for the purpose of an experiment, of course, I'd make sure the girl I take with me to the double date would be one I genuinely like.

 

[the]

You are overthinking this. Think with your crotch... like a man!

 

[INTJ Guy]

You are overthinking this. Think with your crotch... like a man!

No. Every man is born with two heads, and I like to think with the one on my shoulders! :laugh:

 

[mayflow]

Well, I know I'll be able to live without her, and possibly turn her into a safe chick friend. I can usually do that easily, once I meet someone new. I'm at university, there are plenty of girls there, who I'll be sure not to fall into the damned friend zone into, like I did with this INFJ chick.

I KNOW what makes me want this girl, though, I've thought about it a lot. There's like, an aura, between us, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that. We're so alike, and we both "get" each other, and we have our own inside jokes as well. Oh, and she's damn good-looking too. I'm not exactly a "nice guy," or a "pushover" either. She knows that my academic life comes before anything social, as I usually stay at home to work on assignments that are due the next day instead of meeting her at the clubs, or something.

If she's still with this guy, although she hasn't mentioned him since that day I mentioned before, I wouldn't have a problem with that, because I'd find another girl to focus my attention on. Then we could all go on a double date (arranged by me, of course, it'd be great to observe the vibes and shit). I'd never lead on another girl just for the purpose of an experiment, of course, I'd make sure the girl I take with me to the double date would be one I genuinely like.

Don't you think it very possible that your real reason for this "double date" would be to see if it may make the first girl - you know, the one you are obsessing on - (not your date girl) jealous?

 

[INTJ Guy]

Don't you think it very possible that your real reason for this "double date" would be to see if it may make the first girl - you know, the one you are obsessing on - (not your date girl) jealous?

I know it looks bad, but no. It's the only way I can gain some closure. If she says yes, she'll bring her boyfriend along then that would mean that she's still very much into him, but that we can still be friends. If she says no then she either isn't with him, and would be too embarrassed to show up on her own, or likes me and wouldn't be able to handle seeing me enjoying the company of someone else. Either way I'd get closure, which is what I live for.

 

[mayflow]

I know it looks bad, but no. It's the only way I can gain some closure. If she says yes, she'll bring her boyfriend along then that would mean that she's still very much into him, but that we can still be friends. If she says no then she either isn't with him, and would be too embarrassed to show up on her own, or likes me and wouldn't be able to handle seeing me enjoying the company of someone else. Either way I'd get closure, which is what I live for.

If it looks bad to me, think of how it will look to the girl you are taking this date on!

 

[INTJ Guy]

If it looks bad to me, think of how it will look to the girl you are taking this date on!

Which girl? The INFJ, or my lucky date?