What Are Your Needs in a Relationship?

VH said:
ladies need to sex their men up a whole lot to achieve the same effect.
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Hummm..... For some odd reason I'm not surprised this...............So, let me guess. By chance were the researchers that studied this men?
Seriously, not as much huh? Got a link?
 
Norwich said:
Seriously, not as much huh? Got a link?
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Not off the top of my head, but I read it from a link on these forums. It's lurking in here somewhere.

The article also explains that when a man falls in love, his testosterone levels drop markedly, which causes the couple to be less sexual and the male to be less dominant. Therefore, if a guy stays at the same testosterone levels, then he doesn't love you.

However, the way the data was presented leads me to believe that testosterone is the counter agent to oxytocin (and vice versa), which is why oxytocin lasts longer on women, and men "get over it" quicker. Also, it explains the 2 weeks theory, since women have testosterone spikes when they ovulate and menstruate... but men have a daily testosterone cycle.
 
I never want to be accused of over thinking again... this derailment is madness.
 
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Loophole: This theory insinuates that if a woman masturbates to orgasm while thinking of you it will form a bond to you in her brain.
 
VH said:
WIN!

Though I think it is a subconscious tie to your pheromones... maybe if she was smelling something of yours while thinking of you...
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Hmmm, I would imagine it could happen to a lesser or greater degree depending on proximity. However if a woman is masturbating to the thought of you I would imagine there's already a bit of a bond there.
 
Norwich said:
Hummm..... For some odd reason I'm not surprised this...............So, let me guess. By chance were the researchers that studied this men?
Seriously, not as much huh? Got a link?
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From what I know about the subject, Oxycotin isn't really studied much. I been browsing every since I found this thread and my search has proved pretty much inconclusive.
 
VH said:
First of all, you will refer to me as "sir". Do we understand each other? *sexy eyebrow*
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Aww just cute, trying to get all alpha male on me? You don't know me very well do you.... ;)
 
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My needs are not so much physical as they are emotional. I need constant emotional reassurance that my crazy powerful emotions are returned, and overall stability in a relationship. Ultimately, I need to feel cared about, whether it is through words, actions or touch.
 
Balance. Especially positive affirmation to combat my negative ones. :/ I wish I didn't need that... but, I do.... and sincerity, of course. I don't desire lip-service, thank you. I need to feel uniquely his, and special. I don't want to feel like I'm in a [plug my name in here] situation. I want the words to represent feelings, not pick up lines.

I need to be a priority, not an afterthought. I need to be spoken softly to, with kindness, and sensitivity. I need compassion and at least a valid attempt to understand why my negative attributes exist. I need patience. A LOT of patience! :( I need fun, playful banter, sarcastic wit, intelligence, interest, complexity, nobility. I need copious amounts of passion & physical touch. I need to hear how much he wants me.

I need him to respect me as an equal, and a feminist, but not to let me win. I need him to trust me. I need him to take me over... and over. I need him to confide in me, and lean on me. I need to know his desires, and his dreams. I need to be intertwined, interlocked, interconnected.

I need it to be the real thing. I need him to believe we can achieve LOVE. Agape love. I need to be the one. The only one... for him. I need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he will not break away when the going gets tough. That it's more than merely a crush. I need him to be as far in, and committed to a positive outcome as I am.

I need communication. I need him to draw me out of my head, and my silence. I need him to be unwavering in his faith in me, because I lose it in myself, but most of all... I just need him to be himself... as beautiful as he is... and I will give my all, every day, in wonderment of him.
 
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It's disgusting to think that sex is all people want in a relationship!

The specific needs are different for each person, but there must always be a mental connection for the relationship to function correctly.

For instance, I need someone who can look at my expression and posture and be able to tell when I need to talk about something, or if I just need them to be near me. I need someone to give me positive reinforcement because I'm always second guessing myself. I need someone who will give me their honest opinion at every corner, because I thrive off of making other poeple happy.

Excuse me for taking this question seriously, rather than as a joke like the people who revolve around sex. *COUGHfirstpagersCOUGH*
 
Hmmm, tricky question.

First, I suppose my need would to be liked and valued for who I am. Second, because that happens so seldom, it is much less of a real need now (as are relationships). I am simply content with a friend or two who seem to tolerate (and perhaps even enjoy) what little they know about me.
 
/Total Whine Trifoilum Mode
Physically : good sex (I think.) Good smell. A face that's (AT LEAST) pleasant to look at.
Emotionally : Be listened. Be understood. Be interested at. Be appreciated. Be supported, during times of need.

Damn, I'm really needy these days.
 
I appreciate consistency. Not that people are going to be the same all the time or are always predictable but it's nice when you know you can count on someone to be there; be available. This trait is really underestimated and underappreciated because when you do have someone who makes themselves truly available to their partner, and the partner notices and appreciates it, it creates a closeness or bond and emotional supportive environment which leads to less stress and which makes the ties between you strong and mutually beneficial.

And show your partner understanding, even if you disagree. They'll appreciate it if your relationship is important to them.
 
Complete list: Smart, intellectual, educated, adventurous, confident, refined, attractive, sexy.
Minimum requirements: Smart, confident, refined, attractive.

In terms of types: ENFP, ENTP, INFJ, ENTP.
 
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