So,
I look into this constant guilt that I feel, this nagging that I am never good enough, that I am never adequate for others. Sometimes it drives me to constantly evolve myself, sometimes it fills me with despair. Either way, I am never content to simply "be."
Some say this is inner torment, some say it is inner drive. It is not a passion of mine, I do not feel great pleasure in it, I feel like I must do it to overcome my flaws.
I thought that IT was a passion, but it is simply something that came easily and I can make money doing.
When I think about it, I really don't know if I have passions, I have desires to be close with people, but I don't know if I truly have a passion.
It seems like my whole life is built around gaining acceptance and assisting others, and when I try to look at myself, there is nothing there. When I try to focus on doing something for myself, I either lose interest or it is a way of escaping reality.
So I wonder:
- What do you see in yourself?
- What truly drives you?
- What makes you interested to see another day?
- How truly content are you to let injustice happen?
- Is extreme guilt a virtue or a problem?
- Without guilt, how do you learn from past mistakes?
As I type out, and reflect on, the questions, I realize once again that balance is key, but I am interested to hear your responses. Please feel free to answer as many or as few questions as you like.